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for the ladies that are married, or have a live in partner, does your SO help with the care of your children. like getting them dressed, fed, homework, all that?
for the ladies who are living alone with your child(ren) do you have someone to help you care for them?
it was a big grumble and hassel to ask dh for help when i was working. he dident grumble a lot but i still laid out the clothes, got everything ready, told him what to feed them for breakfast, etc. im not looking forward to doing this again. I ckinda like to do it all myself - not for control reasons, but just to not have the extra hassel of preparing someone else to do it. that still sounds bad doesent it
My DH helps a lot. He's not much help in the mornings (he gets out of bed at the absolute last minute), but we both play with DD in the evenings, he makes dinner sometimes, he picks her up from daycare 2x a week so I can go to the gym, he is mainly the person who does bath and pajamas and lately he's been putting her down to bed too.
But sometimes he doesn't think of offering to help when I'd like him to. On weekends sometimes he seems to be in his own world. And sometimes I cringe at what he picks for her to wear (or he "lets her pick"). And sometimes the meals he gives her aren't the most balanced. But I'm sure he could probably nitpick things I do too. We both are responsible for her and I think we do a fairly decent job of splitting things these days. It helps a bit that she's not nursing (well just 1-2x a day, if that) so he is more able to feed and soothe than he was before.
I gripe about DH not helping as much as he could too, but really he's pretty good. When I need him to pitch in, he does. Even if sometimes it comes with a bit of grumbling.
He is a doting father and he changes her, dresses her when needed (usually on bath nights - so it's not a matter of choosing an outfit as opposed to choosing sleepers), gets her breakfast one day most weekends. With me going back to work (even though I work from home it's still a full time job), we agreed that if I'm doing baths, bedtimes and weekday breakfasts, he'd get up with her in the middle of the night. Of course, he doesn't often have to do this, but it is his share of the load to own. And like I said, on weekends, I'm supposed to get one morning to chill out. I never get to sleep in, but I don't have to get up change her, and just generally get the domestic motors running before dawn breaks!
When it comes to housework, I'm married to Dennis the Menace, and am thankful every single day that I have a nanny helping me stay on top of it while Maggie naps!
Becky, mommy to my Monkey Pie, Maggie (June 10, 2010)
My husband is a GEM! Sometimes I think he does more than I do. For taking care of our son I couldn't say who does more work. It seems pretty even. But I love that he cooks most nights and is willing to clean.
The only time I could complain was when DS was sill on bottles with pumped breast milk. I had to prepare them all for day care and it was a pain. It seemed like he never did that. But now he gets his lunch ready most days, so he's making up for it!
DH does almost all of the cooking and he helps out with cleaning. When it comes to taking care of Collin, I feel that I do most of the work. He gives him a bath but I do all of the getting ready in the morning, his meals, pottying, transporting to/from daycare, etc.
DH didn't do all that much when the kids were younger. Now that they are older, he definitely pitches in quite a bit more. He gets them to school and picks them up on the weekdays that I work. If Austin wants help on his homework, dad is the person he goes to. He doesn't help out with the cooking as much as I would like him to, but he has gotten into the habit of doing his own laundry and cleaning the kids' rooms when they get REALLY dirty.
My DH was awful the first year but is becoming somewhat more helpful now that Juliana is starting to be more fun for him to spend time with. We're probably up to a 75%/25% split instead of 95/5. I'll take what I can get.
My DH is great. I ride him alot and occasionally complain, but I think I have him at a ok point for now..lol... He cooks, cleans, changes diapers, dresses and all that. He was AWFUL when I had Caden, but with my constant BUTT riding (I know that sounds bad) he is ALOT better. Our split is close to 50/50 (I still do a little bit more) and there is no other way it would work otherwise in our house.
For awhile post baby I was doing EVERYTHING. I was 100% taking care of her and trying to keep our house going and doing all the cooking.
It actually continued for the first 3-4 weeks of work before I broke down and we had a long talk. I had to explain that I am not super woman. I am so exhausted, I am barely getting any sleep. I needed his help . Since then, I havent had to ask about a lot of things. Dishes just get done while I am asleep, bottles get washed, laundry gets moved, trash goes out. He is a huge help now.
As for baby duty... he wants to help more than he can. He tries to spend some time taking care of her needs while he is home. He has taken on more with regards to her as he has gotten more comfortable with her.