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Article - Working moms feel less guilty


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  #1  
March 2nd, 2012, 03:35 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Moms Who Work Have Finally Stopped Feeling Guilty About It | The Stir
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  #2  
March 5th, 2012, 05:24 AM
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Hopefully I'll feel the same way tomorrow.
Today is Maggie's first day at daycare, and I've shed more than enough tears about leaving her with perfect strangers in a strange big environment.

But it is true, it's not working that makes me feel guilty at all. I'm proud and happy to be able to work. Just not at the expense of time with my kid.
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  #3  
March 5th, 2012, 08:46 AM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shockandawe View Post
Hopefully I'll feel the same way tomorrow.
Today is Maggie's first day at daycare, and I've shed more than enough tears about leaving her with perfect strangers in a strange big environment.

But it is true, it's not working that makes me feel guilty at all. I'm proud and happy to be able to work. Just not at the expense of time with my kid.
Did the nanny not work out?

I'm curious to see how she does. I know a lot of them cry for a few minutes and stop as soon as mom leaves, which of course makes mom feel like a POS all day even though she's having tons of fun.
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  #4  
March 5th, 2012, 06:31 PM
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The nanny decided to pursue something full time with benefits at the city. I'm ok with it, she deserves benefits, and I support her decision. At the same time, the town we now live in is pretty small, and we haven't met anyone in town. The only option appeared to be a daycare centre in town. When I called they had one spot open and they made an exception to accept Maggie despite the fact that she's younger than their age cut offs. So we jumped on it.

She did fine. I wailed and bawled the whole way home. Of course when I got there to pick her up, she wouldn't let me out of her sight again. I can tell you this doesn't get any easier the longer you wait to take the leap. I thought it would, but I was so wrong.
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  #5  
March 6th, 2012, 11:04 AM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Aw, ((HUGS)). I'm dreading the same thing when the day comes. We're probably going to wait until 3 to start preschool so I'm hoping maybe by then Juliana is a little more adventurous but we'll probably go through the same thing.

I love our nanny and I dread the day she finds something better than the $12/hr we're paying her. She had her degree so I wouldn't be surprised.
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  #6  
March 7th, 2012, 08:38 AM
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I don't think my mommy guilt has gotten any better..lol..it honestly seems to have gotten worse. Especially since Caden is now in school and they have ALOT of activites that I have to miss...As I look back it seems like when they were babies it was easier... They have both been in DC since 8 weeks old. I agree its not working that makes me feel bad, just the limited time i get with my kiddos and the things I miss out on.
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  #7  
March 7th, 2012, 09:39 AM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My working mom guilt has definitely gotten a lot better. I don't feel a whole lot since I WFH and don't feel like I miss out on much, but when Juliana was a newborn I really felt like I should be the one tending to all of her needs. Now at 19 months I love when the nanny takes her out of the house so I can have quiet concentration.
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  #8  
March 7th, 2012, 11:29 AM
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Ya it was really hard to try and explain what I was feeling to DH. He just doesn't get it right...but for me the hardest thing I've dealt with this week is the fact that I'm leaving her with complete strangers. It's something that I've been wired to avoid naturally...Our instinct is to protect them from strangers, and to keep them safe, care for them.

At the same time, with people I trust like DH, the nanny, my mom, I'm like woohoo - go right ahead. I'd love some time to myself to have a shower or clean the house. I'm all over that special time they get to spend with her. I'm just not ok with it being a stranger. It would have been perfect for me if we could have kept our arrangement going til she was in school at 4. Anyway. I digress. She's doing well with it, and that's all I can really ask. No point in worrying about it anymore.
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  #9  
March 7th, 2012, 01:12 PM
-erin-'s Avatar Co-Host of the May2010 PR
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I definitely still have guilt. In some ways it's better than when she was tiny, in some ways it's worse. I see the value of having her with other kids now, but I love this age so much I hate missing so much of it. Also she can pick up bad behaviors at daycare now
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