[shilo]

I used to have my son in a home daycare a couple days a week since he as 6 months old. This year I had to change providers as she was no longer doing home daycare and ended up having to go with a regular daycare. Choices were somewhat limited, but it seems like one thing after another with them and I'm not particularly happy. He also doesn't like it. But also I don't know if I'm overreacting to anything because I'm not familiar with regular daycares... it seems like when I ask about stuff they tell me what they think I want to hear, but then I find out otherwise from my son when he talks to me about the day.

The latest thing is, he had an accident when he was napping. They had him take off his wet clothes and put on his spare clean clothes without washing off (either helping him cleanup, or telling him to do so). He's 3... shirt, pants, and underwear were wet. For the most part he is toilet trained but has an occasional accident once a month or so. This daycare also deals with much younger kids including those still in diapers.

I was shocked that they would not do anything to clean up... just stay with pee on him for the rest of the day with new clothes over it. They told me he had an accident when I picked him up, but not about that (he told me that on the way home). Is this normal or am I overreacting?

He's had also previously mentioned that they do not help him clean when he has a bowel movement (which he has trouble getting completely clean by himself... and which I had given them instructions about when he started). But some other mothers I talked to said they would not expect a daycare to help cleaning up after poop at this age and he should be able to do so effectively by himself (he does clean up himself after pee).

[TerriLF]

My 3 yr old just started preschool/daycare at a center after being at an inhome place since he was born. It was a big adjustment and we haven't had to deal with accidents yet, but I think I would expect them to clean them up after an accident. I'm not sure about the bowel movement because I know my son can't really clean himself up well. I haven't noticed his undies dirty so either he isn't going at school or they are helping him. He will flat out ask you to wipe his butt..LOL..The teacher hasn't said anything so I assume it is okay. It is kind of iffy because they say they have to be fully potty trained for my sons class but say if an accident happens they clean it up and go on, not a big deal..I didn't ask about BM...

[shockandawe]

I would say you need to trust your spidey senses. My child is just learning to potty train and she's doing great, but this is our second go round. My first roadblocks with training I blame on the fact that the preschool teachers were too busy/lazy to keep up with clothing changes. So if she had an accident, they automatically put her in pull ups. I would have preferred sticking with cloth panties at the time and doing extra laundry. Different teachers there now though, and they are working with us, and it's going great...she's been accident free all week.

I would have a major problem if they let her dress over her wet pee covered body without cleaning her up. I would have a big problem if they didn't check to make sure (especially at this stage) that she was cleaned up well after a BM. That said, when I pick my child up some days, she's got dried up boogers on her cheeks (when she has a bad cold), and she's always a big mess from head to foot from playing. I don't like it, but the messier she is, the happier she is, and I honestly don't expect any of them to be able to chase all 10 kids around with kleenex and a cloth either.

So, is it a big adjustment, absolutely. And it can be a dog eat dog kinda place for everyone. But I've seen my daughter thrive and be stimulated far beyond what I could have hoped to provide her at home or in a home daycare setting either. Still, if they aren't listening to your requests on how to care for your child, and aren't reasonably allaying your concerns, then it's time to find a new provider. I know how difficult it is, but keeping up with the child's basic necessities are not negotiable in my view. you will find one that meets your needs and helps you be more comfortable with the whole situation, simply by taking better care of your child.

[mommy2Breana+Brandon]

I find that they didn't clean him up or at least have him do it... I would address that issue since you said that an accident usually happens once a month.

With the BM I know my 5 year old daughter still has a hard time sometimes getting herself clean how can they expect a 3 year to do it.