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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
July 23rd, 2008, 07:59 AM
Ashtyns_mom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am pregnant but I am dreading telling my sister. She has tried IVF 3 times now and with no results. She is pretty bummed about it and has a hard time occasionally dealing with the fact that she has 3 sisters who all have kids. Now her SIL is pregnant and she has only been married 1 year, and I know that it really hurt her to find out.

She is a great person and would make a wonderful mom, she tries so hard to be happy for everyone but sometimes it gets to be too much for her. My heart breaks everytime I think about it.

I dont know what to do. How do I tell her without hurting her? Is it possible?

Thank you for any help.
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  #2  
July 23rd, 2008, 08:18 AM
KatieHeitman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think she is going to hurt no matter what. I've been TTC #1 since October 2005 when I got married. My sister got married September 2007. I had a m/c in September, she had one in January this year. Now she is pregnant again. I am so happy for her, but I still hurt. I want it to be me so bad, but hopefully my time comes soon. She told me she knows it can't be easy for me. Maybe you could tell her that you know it's not easy for her. But you can't keep it a secret from her. Obviously she will find out, and it's better to come from you than someone else. She'll be happy for you, but at the same time she'll be sad and frustrated. She'll probably cry a little after she finds out, but I think she'll also feel guilty about feeling that way. That's just my opinion, as that's the position I am in, and that's how I feel.
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  #3  
July 23rd, 2008, 08:49 AM
txjovigal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think that no matter what she is going to be hurt... but happy for you. My sil and I are very close and going thru trying to get pregnant together... although I have been trying for almost 6 years and she for only 6 months. But we made a deal with each other that no matter what we would tell each other first (after DH) before announcing it to the family. This way we would have time to process.

So maybe you should do that, let her know before you tell the rest of the family and give her time to process after she does she will be happy for you!


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  #4  
July 23rd, 2008, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
I think that no matter what she is going to be hurt... but happy for you. My sil and I are very close and going thru trying to get pregnant together... although I have been trying for almost 6 years and she for only 6 months. But we made a deal with each other that no matter what we would tell each other first (after DH) before announcing it to the family. This way we would have time to process.

So maybe you should do that, let her know before you tell the rest of the family and give her time to process after she does she will be happy for you![/b]
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  #5  
July 23rd, 2008, 06:27 PM
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It's going to hurt no matter what. So tell her in private so she can process things without being expected to act one way or another. She will probably need a day or two to be truly happy for you but she will be!
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  #6  
July 23rd, 2008, 08:15 PM
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I feel the same as the other girls. I think it will hurt no matter how. But I think you should tell her that you know it is hard to deal with the fertility problems but you wanted to tell her yourself because you felt like it would hurt more coming from somebody else. And then maybe you all can even have a cry fest together...It might make her feel better. I know it made me feel better when my sil told me in person.
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  #7  
July 24th, 2008, 07:06 PM
Ashtyns_mom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you ladies. I know it will hurt her and I just dread telling her. I will tell her in person and with just the two of us. I really wish it could be her...

Thanks again.
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  #8  
July 24th, 2008, 08:28 PM
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Thank you ladies. I know it will hurt her and I just dread telling her. I will tell her in person and with just the two of us. I really wish it could be her...

Thanks again.[/b]
I think that is the best way to do it. We have been trying for a year and everyone in my family knows how hard it has been on me. My cousin (who wasn't even trying and was on the pill and didn't even want a baby) just blurted it out to me over the phone that she was PGI was home all alone and tried my hardest to sound happy for her when we were talking but after I got off the phone I couldn't stop crying. The least she could have done was tell me in person, I was really hurt.
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