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Did it take your dh/so longer to want to get help than it did you?


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
December 8th, 2009, 01:42 PM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
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Were you both in agreement with needing to get M/A or did he take a little longer to come around?

I think my dh just kept thinking we weren't bding enough and if he tried harder it would happen. I originally made an appt for our RE after a year and a half of ttc. Then I canceled it and decided we should try on our own a little longer first. We timed things perfectly and bd liked crazy but it still didn't happen. Finally I just got to the point that I just didn't want to do this anymore. I want to be done with ttc. I think dh was ready by the time we made the appt so I am kind of glad we waited.
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  #2  
December 8th, 2009, 01:53 PM
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It wasn't too long before we got married that our best friends found out that they were PG with their first. I remember making a comment to Brian at that point about TTC. I told him that they are lucky, that they got preggo so quickly and in a sense saved money while TTC (Stopping BCP). I told him it probably wouldn't be like that for us, that it might take awhile longer and we might need help. I think he listened then, but didn't really believe me. Now, when I bring up that conversation to him, he laughs at himself for being so naive.

We both were ready to see the RE and move on to more aggressive MA cycles. It has been the adoption process that I feel like I have been ahead of him. He is more than ready now, but it definitely took him longer to get there than it did for me.

We are both just so ready to start our family that we can't wait for the adoption stuff to really start happening!
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  #3  
December 8th, 2009, 01:54 PM
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Not really. I made our first RE appt right about 11 months of TTC (actively w/temping, charting, 1 cycle of Clomid from my OB, etc.) At that point, DH thought something wasn't right.

BUT--I will say--I began to get nervous when it hadn't happened within the first 6 months. I just had an inkling that something was wrong. DH thought I was over-reacting at that point. I don't think he started to get concerned until closer to the year mark and that was right when we started seeing the RE, anyway.
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  #4  
December 8th, 2009, 04:00 PM
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I have drug my feet the past 6 months even with my ob/gyn wanting me to go see an RE, currently on cycle #21 of TTC. Now that my doc is moving she really said she would like me left in "good hands" so I did agree to go finally see an RE. DH & I had a big talk this past w/e & he's agreed to go hear what he has to say, but not sure where we will set our limits at of what to try. I'm a bit stressed because of course I would do whatever it takes, DH on the other hand, not so much ....
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  #5  
December 8th, 2009, 04:32 PM
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We were on board together from the start, whatever it took and until the money ran out. I just asked him again tonight that if this IUI doens't work how many more times are you willing to do this... his answer "till there is no more money in our savings..."
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  #6  
December 8th, 2009, 04:37 PM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momma S View Post
We were on board together from the start, whatever it took and until the money ran out. I just asked him again tonight that if this IUI doens't work how many more times are you willing to do this... his answer "till there is no more money in our savings..."
That is so great! He sounds like a real sweetie.
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  #7  
December 8th, 2009, 04:41 PM
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  #8  
December 8th, 2009, 04:57 PM
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I accepted the fact of needing MA before DH did. He was just so sure that he had "super sperm" and if we just tried "one more month" then it would happen. When it finally sunk in, he was ready to move forward....however, I will say that he's wanted to step away from MA more frequently than I ever have......we've found a sense of peace in the adoption. It's something that we both want equally and exponentially, so we're in a great place now. We are so happy and feel more fulfilled than we've felt in a LONG time!
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  #9  
December 8th, 2009, 06:17 PM
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DH was a little hesitant, but since then has really opened up to the idea. he likes that they are covering so many bases from my endo pain to my infertility. He's on board with what it takes, but since insurance covers only up to IUI/IVF if it gets to that point we'll have to discuss finances to make it happen.
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  #10  
December 8th, 2009, 06:45 PM
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I was the one wanting to cancel the first RE apt, but DH called my BFF from Iraq and told her to MAKE SURE I was there!
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  #11  
December 8th, 2009, 10:09 PM
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I wanted to start MA WAY before DH did. I think at about 15 months I made my first appointment. We had been trying for about 32 months when he finally agreed to see the RE. Now it's taken another year to get him to agree to IUI/IVF.
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  #12  
December 9th, 2009, 02:09 AM
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Dh was the one that encouraged me to ask for more help. I was in "infertility denial".
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  #13  
December 9th, 2009, 09:12 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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You know, he still seems a bit mystified by how women's bodies work, so when I told him the GYN thought I had a problem he just went with it.
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  #14  
December 9th, 2009, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
He was just so sure that he had "super sperm"
Brandi! My DH was the same way for awhile! He was totally convinced that the prob was with ME...I don't mean that in a bad way, but even when he went in for his SA, he was just so SURE that he was gonna come back with superman sperm!
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  #15  
December 9th, 2009, 10:05 AM
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By the time we started MA, I was so stressed out and miserable from all our failures that I think DH would have done anything just to put a smile on my face again! He was a little weirded out by all the processes and everything, but he was a real trooper through it all
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