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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
December 8th, 2009, 05:00 PM
Angel_Maker
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That we plan on changing the name of our adopted toddler???

He's most likely going to be between the ages of 12-18months (no older than 18 mo) and we plan on changing his name to Aaron Brewer.

There's a very good chance that he will be either 1/2 or full hispanic (which is what we want) but I just can't see walking around with a little Jose

I figure that we'll be changing his last name anyway, so is it really that big of a deal???? He will probably end up being called "Bubba" or something silly like that...so I don't know how attached he'd be to his given name anyway...what are your thoughts????
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  #2  
December 8th, 2009, 05:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,292
Funny you posted this b/c I was just wondering about this the other day--I was telling DH about how you are adopting a toddler, and the thought about name changes crossed my mind.

I personally would feel the same way you do. What does your agency say, if anything, about it?
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  #3  
December 8th, 2009, 05:12 PM
Angel_Maker
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I haven't asked, although I can't imagine it would be an issue.....I will bring it up at the home study.....
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  #4  
December 8th, 2009, 05:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I would think most adoptive parents change their baby's name. My cousin is adopted from China and she isn't Wei-ming anymore. (It wasn't that exactly but close to it!) She is Julia Kathleen now, and she was 1 when they adopted her.
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  #5  
December 8th, 2009, 05:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
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my friend adopted three kids, the first a 2 y/o boy who is hispanic and had a name like that. she changed his name to a scottish name, which is her husbands background. 'd' adjusted just fine, in fact he never even questioned it. i think he was so glad to have a mommy and daddy that took care of him that he responed to whatever they called him.

i believe it is your choice to change a name or not. if the child is like 5 or 6, probably not such a good idea, but a little one -- it can and does happen. GOOD LUCK!!

oh and a question brandi -- have you considered a sibling group? ETA: this is how my friend got her infant twins, by being open to more than one.
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  #6  
December 8th, 2009, 05:46 PM
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I have a friend who adopted three kids the youngest was 3 or 4 and they let them all pick their new names, (they were coming from very bad homes so they didn't want someone finding them) with the lil one they 'helped' to pick. I think it's great to pick a new name, but you could incorporate his old name somehow...
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  #7  
December 8th, 2009, 05:48 PM
Angel_Maker
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We have talked about adopting two at a time; however, we still would like to TTC one on our own, and we know we cannot afford three children...soooo, it's sorta out of the question..

Thank you for your input on the name change I'm happy to hear that it's not seen as "weird"
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  #8  
December 8th, 2009, 05:48 PM
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Brandi, a family friend of ours adopted from China and the little boy was 14 months old (and his name was Loo-Ming) and they changed it too Christopher. 5 years later, he has adjusted well and never even missed his name. I believe it would be fine
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  #9  
December 8th, 2009, 06:22 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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My nephew's "birth name" Julio Andras. They started the adoption (international) process when he was around 2 and he came home when he was 3 and a half. They changed his name to Felix. At first he would refer to himself as Juilo, but now (almost 7) if you say Juilo to him he has no idea who you are talking about.

His sister came home around 18 months(international adoption as well). Her birth name is Lesiba, well that defiantly needed to be changed! We started calling her Sage right away and that's the only name she knows now. She's now three.

Their little brother came home around 18 months as well (once again international adoption). His birth name was Alexander Elvis, named by the adoption lawyer he was placed with. I went with to pick him up and we started calling him Kash from the point he was in our custody. He also only knows that name.

All three have nicknames that they know, but they don't seem to remember their birth names.

Oh and all three have three names now, one first and two middle names. One of each of their middle names does have part of their "birth name" with some spelling changes.
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  #10  
December 8th, 2009, 08:20 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think its weird, you can do whatever you want, really. Our guys were 10 weeks old when we met them, their grandmother had explained where their names came from. We didn't feel it was fair to take away the one thing they were born with, their names, especially after 10 weeks. The only thing they'd ever had in their lives was the same name, that's all they came with. We kept their first and 2nd names, then added DH's first name (3 names total) and our last name. I wasn't in love with their names at first, but now I couldn't imagine calling them anything other than Arthur and Theodore, I'm in love with them, not their names
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  #11  
December 8th, 2009, 09:37 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
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I love the name you chose, Brandi, and I know many people who change the names of their adopted children, particularly little ones (like 2 and under). They transitioned it well and by the time these little ones were 3, they never even realized their names changed!

I agree: he will be so very, very happy to have a loving home that he'll just respond to your voice and whatever you call him!
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  #12  
December 9th, 2009, 03:23 AM
Angel_Maker
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Thanks girls, I spoke with our agency via email and they said that I will absolutely be able to change his name
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  #13  
December 9th, 2009, 07:22 AM
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Another thing that I have read people do is keep their given name as a middle or third name. Just so they have that connection. I think it really depends on the age of the child. I have also heard of people adopting from a bad situation and letting the children pick new names, kind of like wiping the slate clean.

I think that your child will just be happy to be loved! He won't care what you call him. Jose, Aaron or Bubba... it all just means you love him!
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