Log In Sign Up

I thought I was doing okay


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
December 11th, 2009, 12:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,292
Until last night and today.

I have just been SO depressed. I keep trying to focus on the positive, but it's so hard. I am putting a smile on my face and made holiday plans for the weekend....but inside I am just crushed.

I cannot get over the fact that I was pregnant! I keep thinking back to Monday and re-living my excitement when I saw that second line. And how I raced to Target to get a FRER, and my absolute elation when it was also positive. DH and I were so giddy/excited all night, it was literally a dream come true!

All Monday night, I tossed and turned like a little kid on Christmas Eve...I woke up and felt that awesome surge of excitment, for a second I "forgot" and then when I rememberd I was pregnant, I was just flooded with joy.

And then it all came crashing down....the barely + test that morning.....the crappy beta number....the increased bleeding. In the blink of an eye, it was over.

And now I feel like I don't know where to be. I feel like I *should* be in a DDC...but that wasn't to be...I feel like I am neither here nor there. I just feel really lost and despondent.

I am so so so scared that this pregnancy was a fluke. And that it will be another two yrs before I see another if ever. I know it's a good thing that I got pg, but it was just like the worst tease ever...

I have been so mopey and depressed today, I literally feel sick to my stomach. I want to get back on Follistim and I can't do that until next month. I have no idea what willl go on with my body this month, when I will O or what.

I HATE THIS. I really really do.
__________________
Married with two awesome 7 year olds, we're TTC with unexplained infertility.
Thank you sophiasmomma for my beautiful siggy!
Nov/Dec Follistim cycle = BFP, chemical pregnancy
Dec/Jan TTC naturally after m/c, BFN
Jan 2010 2nd round of Follistim

Reply With Quote
  #2  
December 11th, 2009, 01:11 PM
KMH KMH is offline
TTCMA Cheer Captain
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: right of center
Posts: 19,112
I'm so sorry. It absolutely sucks that you are having to go through this, and I wish so badly that I could hit "rewind" and have your week turn out differently.

It is really great news that this combo did work for you, though, and I hope that you'll end up with a 2010 baby when you get to do the Follistim again. I'm cheering for you and your ovaries!

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and if you need anything...I'm a PM away!
__________________


Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (3), Abigail (1) and George (1)

Reply With Quote
  #3  
December 11th, 2009, 01:31 PM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 61,614
((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry. I hate seeing anyone have to deal with this.

__________________


Missing my Mommy Weightloss & Fitness girls. You're the best!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
December 11th, 2009, 01:52 PM
Kellica's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 945
I know and feel your pain. I am going through the same thing right now, except I am "waiting" to m/c. I got the horrible news this past Wednesday. I so understand how you feel . I can't believe this is happening either. I feel like I'm in limbo also. My moods are so unpredictable, I can turn on a dime. This isn't fair being this way towrds my other 2 DD's either. We both should be in the Aug DDC and were not. This sucks! Please PM me if you would like to talk privately. I am sure we could offer each other support since we are going through this at the same time.
__________________
Gail

Last edited by Kellica; December 11th, 2009 at 01:55 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
December 11th, 2009, 02:14 PM
Angel_Maker
Guest
Posts: n/a
I unfortunately know exactly how you feel

It is "normal" to be "wishy washy" and feel OK one minute and devastated the next. It's all part of the grieving process.......it sucks, and it makes you feel like a raging lunatic, but it DOES get "easier".....I don't know if the pain ever goes away (I still miss my babies everyday and knowing that they're gone still brings me to tears) but I know that I am still a fully functioning individual, although I have my moments when I just lie in bed and allow myself to be useless and immerse myself in self pity.

Infertility is SO UNFAIR to begin with, and losing babies on top of that is just cruel. But God knows better than we do, and I KNOW that your baby is on the way In God's time
Reply With Quote
  #6  
December 11th, 2009, 03:01 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Japan
Posts: 4,015
aww..hugs!! hope you are feeling better soon!
__________________

Thank You Jaidynsmum for my awesome perfect siggy!!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
December 11th, 2009, 03:57 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
I'm so sorry you are going through this, but I suspect this is a normal chain of emotional responses, but it's still so very difficult to go through, or see you go through it. You have every right to be angry, sad, hurt, confused and so forth. I'm elated you were able to experience those wonderfully giddy emotions, but again, so very very hurt for you that it was taken from you so quickly.

I hope you are able to get pregnant with a very healthy, sticky bean soon!!!
__________________
Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles

Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
December 11th, 2009, 04:50 PM
momma S's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 837
Reply With Quote
  #9  
December 11th, 2009, 07:19 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
Hun, I'm so sorry! I wish I could just wave a magic wand and take away all your pain.

Big hugs to you... and let me know if there is anything I can do for you!
__________________

Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!







Reply With Quote
  #10  
December 11th, 2009, 09:01 PM
frankie's Avatar Proud Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,501
Aww I so know how you feel.. It sucks!!! you need to cry and get it out once the witch goes away I think it gets easier every day then... I hope things get better!!!
__________________
Mommy to Joey & Anthony


trying for~~~Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer~~~~ Marcia Wieder
Reply With Quote
  #11  
December 11th, 2009, 09:12 PM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Land of Infertility
Posts: 16,093
Lots of HUGS... I'm so so sorry....
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



Reply With Quote
  #12  
December 12th, 2009, 06:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,464
Just wanted to send you a big hug & tell you I'm so sorry for what you've gone thru this past week. Thinkin of ya & wishing you a fast journey back to that BFP !!
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #13  
December 12th, 2009, 10:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,292
Thanks girls. I don't know where I would be without this place.

Gail, big (((HUGS))) to you. I am so sorry. This isn't fair at all.
__________________
Married with two awesome 7 year olds, we're TTC with unexplained infertility.
Thank you sophiasmomma for my beautiful siggy!
Nov/Dec Follistim cycle = BFP, chemical pregnancy
Dec/Jan TTC naturally after m/c, BFN
Jan 2010 2nd round of Follistim

Reply With Quote
  #14  
December 12th, 2009, 11:34 AM
~InHisHands~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: US - Alabama
Posts: 12,675
__________________

A&A Art ~ My TTC Blog ~ My Pics

"Never confuse acceptance with approval. Without approving
all we do, Jesus accepts all who come to Him." ~
Rick Warren



CLICK HERE to read about my mission trip to Romania! CLICK HERE to see pics!
Reply With Quote
  #15  
December 13th, 2009, 12:57 AM
barbarella's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 738
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this
Reply With Quote
  #16  
December 13th, 2009, 01:16 AM
alicenwonderland's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Rochester NY
Posts: 13,782
Send a message via AIM to alicenwonderland
I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. I know losing Sora was the hardest thing I have ever lived through, and it still hurts to think about. I pray you get a sticky BFP sooner rather than later.
__________________


Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:23 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0