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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
December 23rd, 2009, 10:52 AM
Angel_Maker
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What if you had gotten pregnant when you first started trying? How would your life be different? I think about this a lot.....
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  #2  
December 23rd, 2009, 12:02 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,292
It would be different. If I had gotten pg in November of 2007, I would have had a baby in August of 2008. WOW. That means we would have a 16 month old now! CRAZY to imagine.

You know...looking back...I am *kind of* glad it didn't happen right away. DH went through a very nasty custody battle with his son's mother, and it took a LOT of our financial resources and took an even greater emotional toll.

The summer of 2008 was TERRIBLE with constant court dates and arguing. Then things settled down and then got awful again. Basically, without giving the whole Jerry Springer story here, his ex is an alcoholic and she was really in the throes of her drinking for about two yrs. It ended with her getting drunk and not being able to get her son off the bus. So I picked him up and she showed up at our house, wasted. I called the police, she ended up punching me in the face, and I got a restraining order. Honestly--I almost left my DH over it alll. I just could NOT fathom living my life with this wacked-out person on the sidelines.

It took my DH being very strong and finally drawing some heavy-duty boundaries with her. He took her BACK to court for full custody. Unfortunately, the way the system works, parents are given chance and chance again to do the right thing. At the end of the day, DH was able to force her into treatment and he got somethign put into the parenting plan that IF she is ever caught drinking when their son is with her, she will pretty much automatically lose custody.

The GOOD part of all this drama is that it seemed to be BM's rock bottom. She quit drinking and got into AA. She's been doing well now for almost 9 months. And my stepson certainly seems a LOT happier with a happier mother.

So--looking back---I am so grateful that I didn't have an infant and wasn't pregnant during all those terrible months. It's THAT fact that makes me have a deeper faith in God and a trust that there IS a plan. God wants us to have our baby when the time is right for us.
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Married with two awesome 7 year olds, we're TTC with unexplained infertility.
Thank you sophiasmomma for my beautiful siggy!
Nov/Dec Follistim cycle = BFP, chemical pregnancy
Dec/Jan TTC naturally after m/c, BFN
Jan 2010 2nd round of Follistim

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  #3  
December 23rd, 2009, 12:24 PM
Angel_Maker
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If we had gotten pregnant back in September 2006, we would've had a baby in June/July 2007.....we ended up with the boys in August 2007, and honestly, I wouldn't trade my time with them I love them and cherish them SO MUCH and I can't imagine NOT being "Asher and Noah's Mommy"

Now if we had had the boys, and they had been HEALTHY, then we'd be DONE TTC which means I never would've gotten pregnant with Tres That's a sad thought. That brought me a lot of joy

We definitely wouldn't be adopting if we had our twin boys.....so I'm anxious to see where this journey takes us. I think when all is said and done, this will FINALLY start making sense to me.
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  #4  
December 23rd, 2009, 07:54 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
Awww... you gals surely know how to look at the silver lining!

If I would have my druthers.... I'd be pregnant now with a baby due July 2010. Then, there would be 2.5 years between Kensley and baby(babies) and all would be right in the world. In all my life, I've always wanted my kids to be 2 years apart in school... this is the last cycle to provide that hope.

We wouldn't be stressing about money. We wouldn't have worries about TTCMA, I would have a Christmas present to the grandparents that says, "Kensley... not the only child, now the oldest child!"

Life is good now, but man, it seems like it would be just a little bit better if we were expecting our summer 2010 baby!
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  #5  
December 23rd, 2009, 08:22 PM
Sarah:Marie:IVF:Mommy's Avatar Proud mom of Leiland
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Location: Southern CA, Born and raised in MI
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oh how would my life be different. We would have a little 5 year old running around. But I honestly don't think we would have made it had we had that baby, because it came about from our first month dating, and we struggled and are really strong now, but had a rough road to get here.

I also don't think I would appreciate my current pregnancy or soon to be baby nearly as much.
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  #6  
December 23rd, 2009, 08:26 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
Ultimately, it would not be that different. I was diabetic and no one knew, so my first child would have been stillborn regardless of when he/she was conceived. Had I gotten pregnant on the first try after my first loss, I would not have needed IUI and so would not have conceived triplets and then lost two of them. While i would not undo my first pregnancy despite the loss of my son, I'm not sure if I would go through the agony of pregnancy reduction if I could avoid it.

Sorry that was so depressing.
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  #7  
December 23rd, 2009, 10:42 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 236
I honestly don't know where I would be. Infertility has caused a strain on my marriage, yet brought us closer at the same time. I definitely wouldn't know all that I know about my reproductive system.
I think overall though, I wouldn't appreciate as much as I would now!
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"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
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  #8  
December 24th, 2009, 08:11 AM
Angel_Maker
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Thanks for sharing ladies Rebecca, it is so depressing sometimes isn't it? I really wanted this post to help us look at "the bright side" when there sometimes doesn't seem to be one. I'm so sorry for all that you have been through, but I PROMISE that when you hold your little man, it will fill your heart with a type of joy and happiness that yu could never imagine living without....
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  #9  
December 24th, 2009, 09:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,149
This is too painful to even think about. When I first started trying, I would think about upcoming events (weddings, birthdays, holidays, reunions, work events, etc.) and think: I'll be x months pregnant then or my baby will be x months old.

I do know one thing though. And I hesitate writing this, because I don't want to think that my infertility was for any reason other than crappy luck. But, had I gotten pregnant right away, I may never have known (and really known, like deep down in my heart and soul) just how strong my marriage is and that I married the perfect person for me. If I had gotten pregnant right I way, I might never have known just how badly I wanted to be mom.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Asher_n_Noah_n_Tres View Post
If we had gotten pregnant back in September 2006, we would've had a baby in June/July 2007.....we ended up with the boys in August 2007, and honestly, I wouldn't trade my time with them I love them and cherish them SO MUCH and I can't imagine NOT being "Asher and Noah's Mommy"

Now if we had had the boys, and they had been HEALTHY, then we'd be DONE TTC which means I never would've gotten pregnant with Tres That's a sad thought. That brought me a lot of joy

We definitely wouldn't be adopting if we had our twin boys.....so I'm anxious to see where this journey takes us. I think when all is said and done, this will FINALLY start making sense to me.

Brandi, I truly admire you. You are an amazing woman and you are an amazing mother.
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September 2009 IVF - BFN; November IVF -Ec topic Pregnancy; May 2010- IVF cycle- BFN,
July 2010 IVF cycle: BFP - m/c induced at 8 weeks because of no heartbeat
March 2011 IVF: BFP!!!
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  #10  
December 24th, 2009, 09:33 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
If we had gotten pregnant right away we would have gotten pregnant on our honeymoon and would have had a baby in May of 2008. We'd be chasing around a 19 month old right now.

But I have to say that while MA is such a stressful and hard thing to go through, it has been wonderful for our marriage. That's strange to say, but it has. I never would have thought that we would be strong enough to go through what we have. The ups and downs, the asking why all the time, the dissapointment in ourselves and eachother... Through all that Brian and I are closer now than we ever have been. We both want to be parents SO badly, and this journey has done nothing but make that even more apparent to us.

I also have to point out that if we had gotten pregnant right away, I wouldn't have met all of you! I have made some really, really, really great friends while going through this journey. There are days when all I really need is to chat with someone that knows exactly what I'm talking about. As much support as I might have IRL, I don't have anyone that holds a candle to the friendships that I have been blessed with on JM. I love you ladies!
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  #11  
December 24th, 2009, 09:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kari_B View Post

But I have to say that while MA is such a stressful and hard thing to go through, it has been wonderful for our marriage. That's strange to say, but it has. I never would have thought that we would be strong enough to go through what we have. The ups and downs, the asking why all the time, the dissapointment in ourselves and eachother... Through all that Brian and I are closer now than we ever have been. We both want to be parents SO badly, and this journey has done nothing but make that even more apparent to us.
That's exactly how I feel. Our marriage has gotten stronger. We've been together 8 years now, and prior to this, we had dealt with the death of my father and other family tragedies. But this has brought us so close and shown me that we can get through anything.
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September 2009 IVF - BFN; November IVF -Ec topic Pregnancy; May 2010- IVF cycle- BFN,
July 2010 IVF cycle: BFP - m/c induced at 8 weeks because of no heartbeat
March 2011 IVF: BFP!!!
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  #12  
December 24th, 2009, 10:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,292
I have to agree with the marriage stronger thing. I feel the same way. I think what's been so *neat* for me is seeing my DH's desire to have a child grow over time. He is absolutely DYING for us to have a baby now.

When we were just dating (our kids were not quite 2 when we met) he wasn't sure he even WANTED more children. That kind of slowed our relationship for a bit because I KNEW I wanted more.

Then after about 6 months, he agreed that he DID want to have at least one more child. Then when we finally started TTC (about 3 yrs after that), I was all gung-ho from the start but he was more of the "if it's meant to be" mentality. THEN the funny thing is, every month that went by and it didn't happen, he started to have baby fever.

And NOW---he fawns over babies even more than I do! We were out Christmas shopping the other night and we split up for a bit, and when we met back up, I found him in the BABY AISLE at Target oohing and ahhing over the baby clothes!

When we left the mall that night, he was all mopey and said that it was sad buying toys for our 7 yr olds b/c they are "almost" too old for many of the toys! They're all into the electronics now, like Ipods and Nintendos. He said he just cannot wait to have a baby in the house and to get to "do it all over again."
__________________
Married with two awesome 7 year olds, we're TTC with unexplained infertility.
Thank you sophiasmomma for my beautiful siggy!
Nov/Dec Follistim cycle = BFP, chemical pregnancy
Dec/Jan TTC naturally after m/c, BFN
Jan 2010 2nd round of Follistim

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  #13  
December 24th, 2009, 10:46 AM
Angel_Maker
Guest
Posts: n/a
on the stronger marriage My dad died a month and a half after we got married and we lost the boys 6 months into our marriage.....I still don't know how we survived it....Our first year of marriage was just horrible, but it's made us more appreciative of one another and has totally changed our perspective on what's most important
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  #14  
December 24th, 2009, 07:45 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 2,585
If we would have gotten pregnant the first cycle trying I would have had a 3-4 month old at the point of DH deploying. I honestly don't know how I would have handled that. I know that it's still a possibility for DH to deploy with Coby being little, but I know more what to expect this time. I also wouldn't have had the opportunities I had last year. I wouldn't have been able to go to Guatemala to bring my youngest nephew home.

With Nevaeh I got pregnant with him 3 months after DH deployed, DH got a 3 day pass before actually leaving the country. It was hard losing him, but I would have gone through the whole pregnancy and birth without DH and just the thought of that killed me. His due date was my BFF's birthday, so if he would be here... He'd have just turned one.

With the twins, it was the hardest loss. We got pregnant literally a few days after DH got home from Iraq. We were so excited and then found out there was two from an unmeticated cycle. We were beside ourselves. When they told us just short of 7 weeks neither had heartbeats and my HCG was dropping, I felt like someone tore me apart. I know it bothered DH terminally. We fought around that time bad. But in the long run after a few months I realized... it happened for a reason. When we went to get all the bank stuff together to start looking at houses the loan officer told us that had we had a child or were pregnant we most likely wouldn't have gotten the loan.

We moved into our house in July and got pregnant in August.
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  #15  
December 24th, 2009, 09:22 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Japan
Posts: 4,015
I guess im pretty much like some of the girls on here..infertility has taught me alot about the man i married..its one trying time and very upsetting...so i guess thats the upside..i always thought i would be working on number 2 by now.. I would have had a 3 month old when hubby left for a year missing everything..so i guess its probably better that way..If only i had that lil one now though!
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