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Surro who took twins back


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
February 27th, 2010, 07:45 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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so i've been following the story and watched this last week when she came back on the Dr. Phil show. if any of you didnt not see it you should watch it online. she looked so ridiculous up there...story changing every 5 mins. Dr. Phil came right out and said he thought they planned to keep the babies..maybe not from the start but at least a few months BEFORE she had the babies... he really ripped into her!!

He said that if she was worried about Amy's mental health she should of asked the courts to order an evaluation of her NOT take it upon herself to keep the babies on a whim without any proof or documentation. her response "oh i didnt know i could do that...." so he came back and said "well now that you DO know...would you be willing to let the courts evaluate her and if they find her fit, give back her children?" her response "No."

Shelly also said that for her previous surrogate pregnancy she would call the intended parents at 3am and tell them she was craving taco bell...they would then travel and hour ONE WAY to bring her taco bell...Shelly said it was " fun to play the game" and then laughed. dr. phil also quoted her saying "she was mad at Amy for caring more about the babies than about her(shelly) during the pregnancy" he said it was obvious she does surrogacy for the High and glory she gets from the IP's.


so i was looking online tonight and I found the message board shelly was a part of!!! according to the posters there...Shelly told THEM that she had given the babies up for adoption after she took them from Amy.... and then the whole messy story came out that she had just plain kept them.
here is the discussion thread they are having... Dr. Phil on Tues 2/23 - Surrogate Mom faces her critics Part II - Page 7 - SMO Message Boards
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  #2  
February 27th, 2010, 08:11 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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also wanted to mention that the Intented Mother (amy) posted a couple times on the thread this week.

as does the other surrogate that was on the Dr. Phil show this week w/Shelly.
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  #3  
February 28th, 2010, 04:24 AM
*Pamela*
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All I can say is WOW. I don't get to follow this over here....no Dr. Phil. I'm glad he ripped into her. I'm just so sad for the babies.

I'm sure I asked you last time you updated but is there anything the real intended parents can do to get these babies back. I just can't believe the behavior of the suro. Just so hurtful.

Thanks so much for updating. I just keep hoping for a happy outcome.
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  #4  
February 28th, 2010, 05:56 AM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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no, there isnt anything she can do. surrogacy is illegal in michigan..not that ppl dont do it but michigan still says its illegal. so whoever gives birth to the babies is the mother. what the intended parents and the surrogate were doing was more like an adoption...she would give birth to the babies and then make the intended parents the legal guardians while they adopted the babies.

That is why the surro was able to take them back because in the eyes of the law she was the only mother and had all legal right to the babies. BUT if she had given birth in CA which is very surro friendly she would of NEVER been allowed to take the babies..not for even one second!

from watching the latest episode its clear that shelly does it for the attention...i mean calling her former IP's for taco bell at 3am..are you freaking kidding me???? and saying she "loved playing the game with them" its really sad, i hope no one uses her as a surro again.

here is the link to the show, you can read a lot of what was said or watch different clips on this page.

Dr. Phil.com - Shows - Surrogate Mom Faces Her Critics
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  #5  
February 28th, 2010, 10:05 AM
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It's stories like that that make me nervous about surrogacy.
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  #6  
February 28th, 2010, 10:12 AM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KDD View Post
It's stories like that that make me nervous about surrogacy.
I know..im sure this story has turned a lot of ppl off to the idea of surrogacy which is really sad because its a great gift.

I fully intend on being a surrogate for my best friend sometime in the future because she doesnt trust a stranger to do it.
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  #7  
February 28th, 2010, 11:27 AM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We actually just spend a lot of time talking about this in class last week. One girl is writing a paper on surrogacy laws and how they are all over the place, and the problems created when some states don't legally recognize surrogacy.
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  #8  
February 28th, 2010, 12:04 PM
MommaLee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for the update...I have not followed the story but it is interesting.
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  #9  
February 28th, 2010, 12:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KDD View Post
It's stories like that that make me nervous about surrogacy.
My RE, who is also a family friend, flat out told us that he did not think surrogacy was a good option for this very reason. He's helped other couples do the IVF/surrogacy thing, but he said that as a friend he would not feel comfortable doing that for us. He would do it if we really wanted to he said, but unless the surrogate was a family member or friend he really didn't want to.

This story scares me because I can see myself in that poor woman's shoes. I have a diagnosed mental illness - bipolar disorder. In 2001 I was briefly outpatient hospitalized for a suicide attempt. My bipolar disorder is on the severe end of the spectrum. I have been medicated and stable for almost a decade now, but a lot of people don't understand how mental illness treatment works (like that crazy surrogate doesn't) and just think so poorly of those of us with a diagnosis. My bipolar disorder is so well controlled that I went and got a master's in psychology and became a therapist myself, but some people just can't see past the diagnosis and assume I'm some kind of maniac. This poor woman is clearly in better mental shape than the **** surrogate, but she gets stuck with the crazy label too.
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Last edited by rebeccabaltimore and more; February 28th, 2010 at 12:29 PM.
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  #10  
February 28th, 2010, 04:18 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccabaltimore View Post
My RE, who is also a family friend, flat out told us that he did not think surrogacy was a good option for this very reason. He's helped other couples do the IVF/surrogacy thing, but he said that as a friend he would not feel comfortable doing that for us. He would do it if we really wanted to he said, but unless the surrogate was a family member or friend he really didn't want to.

This story scares me because I can see myself in that poor woman's shoes. I have a diagnosed mental illness - bipolar disorder. In 2001 I was briefly outpatient hospitalized for a suicide attempt. My bipolar disorder is on the severe end of the spectrum. I have been medicated and stable for almost a decade now, but a lot of people don't understand how mental illness treatment works (like that crazy surrogate doesn't) and just think so poorly of those of us with a diagnosis. My bipolar disorder is so well controlled that I went and got a master's in psychology and became a therapist myself, but some people just can't see past the diagnosis and assume I'm some kind of maniac. This poor woman is clearly in better mental shape than the **** surrogate, but she gets stuck with the crazy label too.
That is exactly what Dr Phil said....that she is being punished for having this disorder when she has been safely medicated for 15yrs and worked at the same job for 15yrs with a stellar employee record..she was cleared by a homestudy and her own psychologist to be a fit mother....but yet her past was held against her by a woman with no medical degree and the law upheld it.

The ONLY reason her mental health was questioned was because of her infertility...you dont see uber fertile ppl having to PROVE they are fit parents before someone hands their baby over...nope no one questions them ...yet people with Infertility are held to these strict standards...we are stripped bare in front of all these medical professionals proving that we are fit. yet some teeny bopper who is 16 can parade herself alll over MTV showing what a crappy mom she is and she still gets to keep her baby...yet this woman who has clearly shown that she is fit and stable does not....
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  #11  
February 28th, 2010, 05:34 PM
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This whole thing is very interesting. I just feel bad for those poor kids... I hope someday they can understand what has happened.
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  #12  
February 28th, 2010, 05:38 PM
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This story just makes me ill, which is why I can't really watch it or read the immediate comments from the "players" of the game. I really feel for the IP. So sad that they have gone through all this torment.

I agree, she should NEVER be a surrogate again. Whomever chooses her is asking for trouble.
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