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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
March 3rd, 2010, 11:44 AM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We were having second thoughts after what the SW told us at the walk thru last week and stuff that is going on with other foster parents in the same agency.

SW was supposed to come back over today..just got the call from her saying that we would not be able to get licensed.

Our house is a country farm house, the upstairs has 2 bedrooms, to get to the foster bedroom you have to walk thru Bryar's bedroom (but there is a wall and a door dividing them..they are 2 separate bedrooms though! she says she called their licensing worker and she told her that it would not pass their walk thru..that it's against code to gain entry to one bedroom by the use of another.

using our bedroom is not an option eventhough it is downstairs, the stair way entrance is too short to get our queen size mattress set up...we would have to cut the box spring in half and bend the actual mattress (which is what we did when we first moved in) BUT we just bought a new set because we moved downstairs to make the upstairs all kid...and threw out the old set because it was so warped from getting it upstairs.

I guess it was never meant to be, im actually relieved we were having second thoughts about this agency because at least it doesnt hurt as much it would have.

Now I have a ton of girl clothes, bedding set, decorations..stuff I just bought 2 weeks ago.

When we were talking about our doubts about this agency we were talking about international adoption...but that will be a very long time before we could eve start....and of course now we need to get a new house because im sure they will all veto the bedrooms
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  #2  
March 3rd, 2010, 12:28 PM
momma S's Avatar Super Mommy
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I don't even know what to say... That is a lot to take it.
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  #3  
March 3rd, 2010, 12:38 PM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Awww, I'm so sorry that things have turned out this way... I am hoping and wishing that you get your miracle baby (and chart stalking at the moment!!)

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  #4  
March 3rd, 2010, 01:30 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
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aww...Christin..im sorry to hear this! you have been through alot already! ill be praying you get your miracle baby girl soon! hugs!
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  #5  
March 3rd, 2010, 01:31 PM
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I'm so sorry! *Hugs*
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  #6  
March 3rd, 2010, 01:38 PM
Angel_Maker
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no no no That is just SO STUPID!!! UGH!!!!


Just think about if all the women out there who probably SHOULDN'T be having babies in the first place had to get a LICENSE or get APPROVED in order to conceive.....wow, just wow.......

Makes me mad when you think about all the families out there who are living in less than stellar living conditions and yet someone who is trying to do the RIGHT THING and give a child a loving home is denied the privilege because of the placement of a bedroom and a door


Stupid.......


I'm so terribly sorry and I wish that there was SOMETHING that I could say or do to take away the pain.....this just sucks, and I am so sad for you
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  #7  
March 3rd, 2010, 04:19 PM
angel3y35's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry. I'll be keeping you in my T&P's. That's a really stupid reason for not passing!!!
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  #8  
March 3rd, 2010, 05:12 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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thanks ladies.

i honestly had a bad feeling about this since the SW came. I had a crazy fit this weekend and seriously packed up everything baby in the house and shoved it in the foster bedroom. I think I knew this wouldnt work.

Im super confused about what to do...do I keep ttc even though I might be going to nursing school this August...do I give up on adoption..do I give up on another baby???

The way things are looking it will be 1-2yrs before we could start ttc (if Im accepted into school) or it will be 2-4yrs before we could start down the adoption path again.

im a planner and i NEED a plan..but i havent got one and its driving me crazy.
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  #9  
March 3rd, 2010, 05:58 PM
Angel_Maker
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I understand needing a "plan"....I'm totally that type...HOWEVER...I will say this baby totally went against "our plan"


Literally, we BD'd on December 31st.....not thinking anything about me Oing or anything (obviously because I "never" O on my own) and then on Jan. 3rd I had EWCM and DH specifically said that this would be a horrible time to get preggo....and lo and behold the "damage" was already done

Go ahead and "plan" everything else....and then God will throw the perfect little wrench in it

You're in my prayers hunnie....did you buy any lemons yet
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  #10  
March 3rd, 2010, 06:14 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry
The Universe has a plan for you, and I think you should mess it up! Go to school, and wait-I have a gut feeling she's out there, she just needs to find you. Talk to people and get it out there that you're looking to adopt, there are many many kids out there whose parents want a better life for them, they're just afraid to go through the system d/t losing all contact. In the past 10 months, I've come across two children other than the ones I've already adopted-their parents couldn't care for them, and wanted to find a suitable family. These children are out there, they just need to find you.
Love M
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  #11  
March 3rd, 2010, 06:59 PM
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Man that just plain stinks. I am so sorry. I wish there was some great words of wisdom that I could pass on to you, but I just don't have them.

I am a planner too. I totally get the frustration that comes along with NOT knowing what is in the cards. Maybe that's just what we need for things to finally fall into place. It's like Brandi said, sometimes God just throws the most perfect wrench in things.

I love this song, and it really sums up what I'm trying to say. It's 'Unanswered Prayers' by Garth Brooks. I listen to it often to remind myself that the plan is there, I just might not know where it's taking me all the time.

HUGS!!! Let me know if you need anything!
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  #12  
March 3rd, 2010, 07:51 PM
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I'm so sorry that this didn't work out. I never would have thought that connected bedrooms would be an issue.

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  #13  
March 4th, 2010, 04:49 AM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Brandi- lemons are on the list for tonight LOL
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  #14  
March 4th, 2010, 08:48 AM
jamie7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OH I am so sorry and crushed for you! I hope that you get your miracle baby girl and you can put this all behind you! I think this is the worst thing ever! You are trying to give a baby/child a loving home and great parents and you are getting punished for a stupid bedroom!
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  #15  
March 4th, 2010, 09:45 AM
Sota's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I can't believe that they are denying a child who needs a loving home on the basis of a room? It's just a missing hallway! It's so incredibly unfair that people who have no business having kids get to do it all the time, while others have to jump through hoops just to have a chance. I do agree with others that your baby is out there, it just may take longer for her to get to you.
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  #16  
March 4th, 2010, 10:45 AM
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Oh, Christin!! I am sorry this happened, but it almost sounded like there was little chance to get a little girl the age you wanted and that there was a number of things going against this agency to begin with. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

I'm with Brandi on this, maybe just go NTNP and put your plans with nursing school forward and so forth. See what happens Being a planner, no matter what occurs, you'd be able to manage it and with tremendous class and time management
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  #17  
March 6th, 2010, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
Just think about if all the women out there who probably SHOULDN'T be having babies in the first place had to get a LICENSE or get APPROVED in order to conceive.....wow, just wow.......


It is all just so unfair. I'm really sorry!

I DO, however, believe that YOUR CHILD has been chosen for you...whether he or she is another bio-child you will conceive, or an adopted child, I do think there is a plan for you. And I think this setback is one step on the road to your CHILD.

It is so hard to see it, though....trust me, I understand about setbacks. We are just getting started in the adoption process, only a few weeks into our homestudy, and already we've had difficulties getting this paperwork or that...I think it's just gonna be a long up and down road.

I will pray that you can find more clarity about the next step...and DITTO Brandi and Gwynne about NTNP, and going ahead with school! I think the MOST likely time you would get preggo is when you're not trying!
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  #18  
March 6th, 2010, 05:15 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies! Its just hard...I have a BRAND new crib in our shed..its totally girly w/scalloped edges and its cream...girl bedding set, girl room decorations... Hubby keeps saying WE WILL HAVE A GIRL...and I try to believe him, but its hard ..i've been living the adoption path for quite awhile (since May 2008!!!) even when i was pregnant with Bryar I still felt that adopting was a path for me...now i have to give that up at least for awhile.

Right now Im still a little torn about what to do and so is hubby. We have "sort of" decided to TTC march,april and may..and then in june I'll find out if I got in or not. we'll see what happens though when O day comes around...

today is CD 1 for me...I had a 9 day LP this time...better than the 6 day LP's I have been having!! so I guess we'll see what happens.
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  #19  
March 6th, 2010, 09:29 PM
mom2myJo's's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry to hear that you were denied over a "lack of Hallway" ...I wish a mom who was living on the streets that was a crack addict was "denied" conception.

I will keep you in my T&P that you will get the little girl you guys deserve and don't give up...she's out there and you will have her in your arms.

I would definitely go through with the schooling though. I am totally a planner as well and if you conceive while in school, then you guys would manage.

I believe that there are higher powers that be that are working here and when the time is right, things will fall into place.
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  #20  
March 7th, 2010, 06:31 AM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Maybe you guys are right, maybe we are already on our path for child #2.

Honestly...I dont care if its a boy or girl. We wanted a girl when we were adopting so we would have one of each (ideally i'd like FOUR kiddos!!) I have a strong feeling that if i ever get pregnant again it will be a boy...which Im totally happy with. boys rock!!!!!!

Im just bummed that i have alll this girl stuff and no chance of using it for a long time..feels like a waste of money. i do have a brand new baby niece..guess I could give some of it to her.
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