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fertile people don't get it


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
September 14th, 2010, 11:32 AM
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Had to tell a close friend today about the possible m/c because we had plans tonight and I just am not up for it. She was sad and at first said all the right things, but then said "well at least you know you aren't infertile anymore and so you know if you do IVF again, it will work!"

It took all of me not to hang up the phone on her.
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  #2  
September 14th, 2010, 11:48 AM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
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WOW!! thats insane!! I mean im sure she didnt mean it like that..but do people EVER think??? What is going through their head..your right they just dont get it! HUGS Addie..im sorry you had to hear that!
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  #3  
September 14th, 2010, 11:49 AM
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grrr! I know that our friends/family mean well, but sometimes I wish they'd keep comments to themselves. I think you said it best... they just don't get it. Hugs to you.
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  #4  
September 14th, 2010, 11:51 AM
adnelg775's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Technically it could be said that we are no longer infertile once we have our baby in our arms, but we would still have to do ART for another one...I mean, are we ever "fertile" really? With my DH and I the only way for me to become pregnant by him is IVF w/ICSI. Period. End of sentence. So until I do not want to have any more babies, I will be infertile.
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  #5  
September 14th, 2010, 12:24 PM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: The Land of Infertility
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Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #6  
September 14th, 2010, 12:31 PM
tyggrlili25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ugh im sorry hon:-( *HUGE HUGS*
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  #7  
September 14th, 2010, 12:56 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No, fertile people really don't get it. I'm so sorry.
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  #8  
September 14th, 2010, 01:36 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow...I want to hang up the phone for you.
People REALLY don't think before they speak.
Things like that really upset me.
I'm sorry, hun! :/
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  #9  
September 14th, 2010, 01:39 PM
Tammyms's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ug, I know she was trying to be supportive, but you're right, they just don't understand!!! Sorry
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  #10  
September 14th, 2010, 01:47 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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fertile people really dont understand this side of ttc at all....its like a whole portion of their brain doesnt function or something when it comes to inappropriate comments regarding ttc w/ma and a loss after ttc w/ma.
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  #11  
September 14th, 2010, 01:48 PM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No, they dont get it. Its crazy the things people say to us girls in this situation, my own sister says the dumbest things.

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Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #12  
September 14th, 2010, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adnelg775 View Post
Technically it could be said that we are no longer infertile once we have our baby in our arms, but we would still have to do ART for another one...I mean, are we ever "fertile" really? With my DH and I the only way for me to become pregnant by him is IVF w/ICSI. Period. End of sentence. So until I do not want to have any more babies, I will be infertile.
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  #13  
September 14th, 2010, 03:33 PM
alicenwonderland's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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???? How does her sentance even make sense? It's like saying "oh well you can always try again!" Um.... yeah for another YEAR with added EXPENSES with no GUARENTEES! I'm sorry. *Hugs*
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  #14  
September 14th, 2010, 03:59 PM
Angel_Maker
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Addie...I know what you mean and how you feel Some people (ok A LOT of people) are SO INSENSITIVE!

If you don't mind, I'd like to share a personal story so that you can KNOW that you are not alone:

While I was still in the hossy after having Evan, my OB came in and of course I was distraught and she very calmly and softly said, "Well, at least you're young and can have another baby." I yelled, "ANOTHER BABY? I just LOST my FOURTH BABY and you want to make me feel better by saying I can have ANOTHER????" I went off on her, cussing and screaming....she left the room.....and then the nurse brought me a Xanax

Last edited by Angel_Maker; September 14th, 2010 at 04:30 PM.
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  #15  
September 14th, 2010, 04:21 PM
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Yeah, pretty much anything that starts with "at least" is the absolute WRONG thing to say! I'm sorry.
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  #16  
September 14th, 2010, 06:02 PM
~Landon's Mommy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh man...I'm so sorry! I probably would have hung up the phone...props to you for keeping your cool. HUGS!
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  #17  
September 14th, 2010, 06:19 PM
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It's sad to think about it but now that we are adopting, it's like people don't think I'm still affected by the fact that I'm still infertile, that I"ll never have a BIO baby.

Most people just will never understand.
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  #18  
September 14th, 2010, 06:32 PM
Angel_Maker
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Kari....I get comments about "well, at least you're adopting"....ummmm, yeah, like a baby is just being handed to me out of the clear blue sky....

Yeah I'm adopting $20K +++ later and 3 still births, and a miscarriage....lucky me

People are just ignorant and don't understand how badly their comments can hurt a person going through infertility....

Addie, again, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm praying for a miracle for you
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  #19  
September 14th, 2010, 10:45 PM
sweetdreamer1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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sorry hun..!!i m sure she didnt mean to hurt u..!! but the fertile ones will NEVER get it..!!!
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  #20  
September 15th, 2010, 05:59 AM
~InHisHands~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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