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ultrasound (m/c mentioned) ****update in first


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
September 17th, 2010, 02:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,149
I'm sorry I didn't write yesterday. I didn't have the ultrasound yesterday. I had an emergency with one of my patients and was in surgery most of the day. I went in this afternoon, and there was no growth on either baby. One was the same size as two weeks ago, the other just a milimeter bigger than two weeks ago, with no growth from Monday. And of course, there was no heartbeat. After much consideration of whether to do a d and c or misoprotosol, we decided to try to the misoprotosol first. I took the first dose a couple of hours ago. I should miscarry within the next twenty four hours.

I'm beyond numb. I can't comprehend this still. I don't know how both could go. Despite that, the pain is not as raw as it was on Monday. I think I can't cry anymore.

Thank you all for the support the past week. It has meant the world to me.


--

***
Ugg, I'm just waiting for the misoprotosol to work. I've had some minor spotting, and some intense cramps here and there, but that's it. They told me that if I didn't have period type bleeing, I had to take the second dose twenty four hours later. So I guess I'll be doing that at 6pm. I'm really bumbed. I've been trying to keep my spirits up, but I wish this would just go quickly. I'm wondering if we should have just gone the d and c route.

I need to update my siggie, but it's too painful to go to the siggie board and ask for a new one. I can't stand seeing the ticker though.

Thank you all for the support. I'm trying to be positive and know that the fact that I got pregnant is a huge victory for me and that maybe the fifth ivf will be the charm. I just never imagined I'd be here. That I'd be talking about a FIFTH ivf.

I wish this didn't have to be hard on any of us. I wish we all could be holding our babies right now. I miss mine so much, and it seems so odd because I didn't even know them. At first I was terrified when we found out it was twins. And that feeling was quickly replaced with such joy and excitement to meet these two little people. My heart is so broken.
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September 2009 IVF - BFN; November IVF -Ec topic Pregnancy; May 2010- IVF cycle- BFN,
July 2010 IVF cycle: BFP - m/c induced at 8 weeks because of no heartbeat
March 2011 IVF: BFP!!!

Last edited by yarngirl; September 18th, 2010 at 10:20 AM.
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  #2  
September 17th, 2010, 03:02 PM
Angel_Maker
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Addie, I am so sorry.... I know the pain of losing two babies, and the pain of losing one.....and there's something extra painful when you lose two at the same time.....I know you are confused and wondering WHY WHY WHY.....and I wish I knew....I wish I had a list of valid reasons and explanations for WHY you had to go through this...it isn't fair....you are so wonderful and you are going to be an amazing mother.... If I could take the pain away, please know that I would ......love you hunnie
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  #3  
September 17th, 2010, 03:05 PM
Jenn in DC's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 951
I am SO SO sorry that you didn't get better news. I don't even know what to say - this all just feels so unfair! I know that there is probably nothing I can say that can help at this time but I am thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort. Hugs.
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My IVF Miracle Baby
Aven Robert - Born August 4th 2012





My History
Jenn in DC=37 DH=46
TTC #1 since July 2009

Cycles 1-12 = BFN
Cycle #13 - 15= IUIs with Clomid & Gonal F - All BFNs
Cycle #16 -21 - Natural Cycles, started acupuncture and chinese herbs - BFN
Cycle #22 - IVF Clinical Trial. Cycle Cancelled.
Cycle #23 - Minimal Stimulation IVF #1 - 2 eggs retrieved, fertilized and frozen on Day 3.
Cycle #24 - Mini-IVF #2 - 2 eggs retrieved, fertilized and frozen as expanded blasts on Day 5.
Cycle #25 - Mini-IVF #3 - 4 eggs retrieved (two mature and 2 immature), one egg made it to blast and was frozen. Five snowbabies in all!! Hysteroscopy.
Cycle #26 Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP and then miscarriage
Cycle #27 - Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP!!
Due Date: July 20th
Aven Robert Born on August 4th
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  #4  
September 17th, 2010, 03:16 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 6,083
Oh Addie...I am just so sorry that this happened to you. I can almost feel the pain in your words. I lost my first pregnancy-that was hard enough-I don't know what losing two would feel like I'm thinking of you....,
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  #5  
September 17th, 2010, 03:47 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
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Posts: 4,015
Addie..im so very sorry hun! BIG HUGS!!
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  #6  
September 17th, 2010, 03:52 PM
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I'm so sorry Addie.

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  #7  
September 17th, 2010, 04:10 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im really sorry Addie
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  #8  
September 17th, 2010, 04:56 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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I'm so sorry, Addie. I'm sending you the biggest, warmest hugs I have, and lots of thoughts and prayers.
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  #9  
September 17th, 2010, 04:59 PM
A180's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 930
im so sorry this happened addie. i cant imagine your grief.
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  #10  
September 17th, 2010, 07:24 PM
LindseyandJoeinAL's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,615
I am truly so, so sorry. NO one deserves to go through this! I hope you are able to find some peace, somehow. Many hugs for you from so many people.
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Lindsey - 38
Joe - 46
TTC baby #2

lap surgery Apr 2010 stage 2 endo removed
IVF #1 BFN 11/2010
IVF #2 BFP! 12/2010
Wonderful, sweet daughter Khloe born August 2011
FET #1 - Oct 2012 BFN
FET #2 - Dec 2012 BFN
2nd lap surgery Dec 2012 stage 1 endo removed
IUI Apr 2013 cancelled due to producing 10 mature follicles
IUI June 2013 BFN
IVF #3 Sept 2013 BFN
IVF #4 Nov 2013 BFP! on 8dp3dt
Expecting boy/girl twins 8/1/14

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  #11  
September 17th, 2010, 08:08 PM
adnelg775's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OUR IVF w/ ICSI 2/2011=TWINS!

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  #12  
September 17th, 2010, 08:35 PM
Hoping To Be A Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 3,639
I am in tears reading this. I am so so so sorry. I wish I could make it better or easier, but I know only time can do that. Please keep the faith and if you need anything or even just someone to talk to, feel free to message me..
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  #13  
September 17th, 2010, 09:27 PM
alicenwonderland's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry, Addie. I really wanted this for you. big *Hugs* continually praying you and your future children.
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  #14  
September 17th, 2010, 11:27 PM
sweetdreamer1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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im soo soory hun..!i dont know what else to say..!! it is so unfair..! but deep with in we know that this must have happened for a reason..!which only god will ever know..! i'll be praying for u hun..!! im sorry again..!!!
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  #15  
September 18th, 2010, 03:28 AM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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im so sorry
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  #16  
September 18th, 2010, 06:12 AM
eccomi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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oh addie! i am so sorry. i know there is nothing we could say or do to make you feel better right now but know that we're all with you and here for you if you need us. sending big italian
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cycles 1-16: TTC naturally, all BFNs
cycle 17 & 18: not TTC (due to diagnostic tests)
october 14: RE appt with follow-up hysteroscopy + saline sonogram... TUBES ARE CLEAR!
cycle 19, 20 & 21: natural TTC cycles = BFNs
cycle 22: another natural cycle, but preparing for our first IUI with injectables for cycle 23! FINALLY!!!
FEBRUARY 10th... our very first when we least expected it!!!

october 26th... our little miracle arrived via c-section at 12:19pm weighing 3.920 kilos! we are in love.
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  #17  
September 18th, 2010, 07:32 AM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry.
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Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe


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  #18  
September 18th, 2010, 08:31 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry.
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  #19  
September 18th, 2010, 08:53 AM
Jasonswife99's Avatar Super Mommy
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Oh sweetie, I am so sorry!
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April 25, 2010 & January 4, 2010
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  #20  
September 18th, 2010, 10:29 AM
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Addie - I am so so sorry. I had tears in my eyes reading your post. I know not much can help the way you feel right now but please know you are in my thoughts. Hugs.
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