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wow. (rant, x-posted)


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
September 30th, 2010, 03:39 AM
eccomi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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last night we had a girls dinner party/baby shower for my friend sabina who is due on the 10th of october. we all had a great time. at the end of the evening when everyone was inching towards the door my friend martha announced to us all that she's pregnant with her second child. of course i'm happy for her and her husband but as you ladies can understand, it's a bittersweet feeling. well, the kicker was when someone asked how long they had been trying for and she said they got pregnant on the first try and that she must be super fertile. i felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. mind you, she got pregnant with her first on their first try (on their honeymoon). after everyone left i broke into tears on my friend christina's shoulder (she is the only one in that group of friends that knows about our TTC issues).

when i got home DH saw me and immediately could tell that something was wrong and so i told him (and burst into tears again). before going to bed DH told me he had something to tell me but i had to promise first that i wouldn't be mad. dun-dun-dun-duuuuuuuun. so, he tells me that i'm going to be an aunt. for a second it didn't register then i understood. my SIL is pregnant. of course the floodgates opened again. she's 21 and in her 3rd year at university. she's been with her boyfriend for a year and half. i have no idea how they are going to make this work (he lives and works in milan which is 3+ hours from us).

i felt like i got a sucker punch twice in one night. and it doesn't help that i'm SUPER emotional right now because AF is due any day now...

*sigh* sorry for the long rant ladies.
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cycles 1-16: TTC naturally, all BFNs
cycle 17 & 18: not TTC (due to diagnostic tests)
october 14: RE appt with follow-up hysteroscopy + saline sonogram... TUBES ARE CLEAR!
cycle 19, 20 & 21: natural TTC cycles = BFNs
cycle 22: another natural cycle, but preparing for our first IUI with injectables for cycle 23! FINALLY!!!
FEBRUARY 10th... our very first when we least expected it!!!

october 26th... our little miracle arrived via c-section at 12:19pm weighing 3.920 kilos! we are in love.
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  #2  
September 30th, 2010, 03:47 AM
Laurenj915's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Amy, I'm sorry. It's all so unfair sometimes! I'm glad you have a friend who knows. As wonderful as DH has been it has helped me to have one more person (a close friend who had twins from IVF) to lean on.

I think you are very strong to attend a baby shower in the first place. I don't think I would be able to do that right now. You are going to get some answers this month but I hope you have a chance to pamper yourself a little while you are waiting for AF.

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  #3  
September 30th, 2010, 04:38 AM
Angel_Maker
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I'm sorry hunnie

I know how you feel. DH and I started TTC four years ago (long before any of our friends) and now all of our friend have 2 kids It seems like it happens SO FAST for everyone else....and never happens for us! You will get your baby, I'm just so sorry that you're having to deal with this right now on top of AF symptoms
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  #4  
September 30th, 2010, 05:30 AM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Im so sorry Amy. Please feel better . HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #5  
September 30th, 2010, 06:19 AM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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that is the worst!!!!!

Im so sorry!

By the time I got pregnant with my son there were around 10 babies born to friends and family..it was HARD...i had stopped attending baby showers by then.

Take care of yourself this weekend...maybe do something nice and special just you two..it wont ease the hurt all the way but it might take your mind off of it.
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  #6  
September 30th, 2010, 06:25 AM
jamie7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry. I know how you feel my SIL told me sahe was prego 2 weeks before I started my IVF. SHe is 19 and with her BF (who she is now married to) for only 6 months. I was crushed thank god she told me over the phone and not in person b/c god knows what my face looked like. I know it's hard hun but I know you will have a baby and be a great mommy!
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  #7  
September 30th, 2010, 06:32 AM
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Huge hugs! Sorry you're going through this. I'm dreading a friends baby shower in a couple of weeks - she wasn't trying and was actually on birth control. It's just not fair!
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  #8  
September 30th, 2010, 06:32 AM
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I'm sorry sweetie! You're not alone in all of this. We have all been there at some point. But I have no doubt that we will all be holding our little ones very soon!
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  #9  
September 30th, 2010, 07:11 AM
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I am so sorry I completely understand - my SIL told me she was pg when I was miscarrying from our first round of IVF (which she knew about) and proceeded to tell me that if anything happened she could talk to me b/c I knew what it was like to lose a baby. It was such a horrible feeling it made me sick. I pray that you turn will be soon.
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  #10  
September 30th, 2010, 07:54 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ugh, that makes ME want to cry and I dont even know them....life is not fair
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Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #11  
September 30th, 2010, 07:58 AM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry- I wish this wasn't so hard for so many of us.
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Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 41 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- August 2014: All but 7 cycles on BCP due to endometriosis.

IVF#3/FET#2 (November 2014) Transferred two perfect blasts- First BFP Ever. EDD 8/18/15


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  #12  
September 30th, 2010, 10:49 AM
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  #13  
September 30th, 2010, 11:04 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm SO sorry, hun!
It is SO hard to deal with that!
I live on an Amry post & it seems EVERY wife is pregnant...Literally, in my husbands company, there are about 100 men & we are one of THREE couples without kids....3 out of 100! It makes me so depressed!
I'm sorry, hun! One day you will be a Mommy & get to show off to them your new beautiful baby when there's are "old news". hehe
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  #14  
September 30th, 2010, 02:50 PM
eccomi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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thanks girls, i knew you'd understand.

i still haven't spoken with my SIL since DH told me that she's pregnant. i just don't know if i can handle it. what do i say? she's thrilled about being pregnant despite having no means to support herself or the baby (my ILs will support her, i'm sure). aside from the obvious feelings of jealousy about her getting pregnant "on accident" while we've been trying for over a year "on purpose"... i'm also feeling angry with her. she has only one year left of university and she had all of these dreams and i feel like because she wasn't careful while having sex she is now going to have to give up all of that. she's like a little sister to me. how can i be happy for her when i think she made a big mistake? of course, i know when the baby gets here it will be loved by all of us, but seriously couldn't she have been more careful??? *sigh*
__________________
thank you bonnie (cavewoman) for my beautiful siggy!

cycles 1-16: TTC naturally, all BFNs
cycle 17 & 18: not TTC (due to diagnostic tests)
october 14: RE appt with follow-up hysteroscopy + saline sonogram... TUBES ARE CLEAR!
cycle 19, 20 & 21: natural TTC cycles = BFNs
cycle 22: another natural cycle, but preparing for our first IUI with injectables for cycle 23! FINALLY!!!
FEBRUARY 10th... our very first when we least expected it!!!

october 26th... our little miracle arrived via c-section at 12:19pm weighing 3.920 kilos! we are in love.
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  #15  
September 30th, 2010, 06:17 PM
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I'm so sorry Amy. I have to confess that I would "hide" my friends on Facebook when I would find out they were pregnant. There's no way I could handle a baby shower.

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  #16  
October 1st, 2010, 06:00 AM
~InHisHands~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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HUGE
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  #17  
October 1st, 2010, 07:06 AM
LindseyandJoeinAL's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry Amy. I have absolutely been there/felt that and it is crushing. Just keep your hope alive. You WILL have a precious baby in your arms and it will be SOON.
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lap surgery Apr 2010 stage 2 endo removed
IVF #1 BFN 11/2010
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Wonderful, sweet daughter Khloe born August 2011
FET #1 - Oct 2012 BFN
FET #2 - Dec 2012 BFN
2nd lap surgery Dec 2012 stage 1 endo removed
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  #18  
October 1st, 2010, 07:47 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Huge hugs. I am so sorry that you had such a rough night, and that life is so unfair.
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  #19  
October 1st, 2010, 10:45 AM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
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Oh hun! i just wanna cry with you!! Im soo sorry! that always sucks!! When its one person its bad..but 2?? in one night..i dont know how you held up girl! Hang in there..i know easier said then done..( i guess i should practice what i preach) Just know we are here for you!! Im so sorry!
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