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me sticking around despite the decision I have come to. I cant take it anymore, we started TTC in Nov 08 and I would have never, NEVER thought I would be here a little over two years later still doing this crap and going through all the heartache and loss ive been through. I need a mental break, and honestly feel I need more than that. I need to be done. That is why at this point I am done TRYING to have a baby until we are ready for IVF. Obviously we will not be preventing anything, but I will not temp, I will not use OPK's, I will not be depressed if we cannot dtd around O time...etc. We have talked and if im not pregnant by summer/early fall then we will definitely do IVF.
We all know how it is, something happens and it really bothers you and you make a rash decision and after you calm down and breathe its all okay so I may change my mind next month or a few months from now. But for the time being, this is where im at.
I hope you'll still have me, as this has become where I feel most comfortable. And TTCMA is still a part of me and unfortunately always will be
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW
That is EXACTLY where I'm at. Rob and I are NTNP for a bit. I need an emotional/physical healing period. Clomid and triggers and Provera and all that have been hard on me...well, us. He gets to deal with me. This miscarriage really destroyed me but it also changed my perspective a bit. I want to take time to just enjoy being young and in love with my husband. Right now, all we have to worry about are bills and dogs. And we can manage those and find time to travel a little and to just be us again. I think a break is a marvelous idea and I hope you stick around with me.
I know I can't speak for everyone, but I think it's GREAT for you to stick around! You're a wonderful support. I know when I was on BCP for a few months after our IVF didn't work, I still stuck around and everyone made me feel welcome.
I pray you get your miracle in the meantime!
Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.
IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.
March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.
I totally get it. I did the same thing after so many failed cycles of clomid and then of injectibles with IUIs. I needed a mental break and wanted to take time off from being a human pin cushion. At that time I was even thinking it was it for us, I was nervous about IVF and not sure if I would ever go through with it! Enjoy your time off TTC with MA! And maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who get preggers naturally
Just wanted to say that I personally think that it's perfectly OK for you to stay - especially if you have insights that the rest of us can benefit from. I hope you get your miracle soon and that this break gives you everything you need.
Me: 29 DH: 30 TTC #1
9/30/2006: Surprise BFP - a honeymoon souvenir! Found out at 9 weeks!
10/23/2006: Miscarriage in the ER. Devastated, but back to TTC.
12/2007: Began hormone testing, suspected PCOS (but not officially Dx'd)
1/2008: 1st round 50 mg Clomid
10/2/08: DD born via emergent c-section. So in love! TTC #2
8/2009: Still BFing, cycles resumed! Starting to try for #2!
6/2010: Began first round 50mg Clomid. BFN.
11/2010: Third round of Clomid - ! Tests turn into a day later; chemical pregnancy.
12/2010: Fourth Clomid round is a . Taking a MA break before moving forward with possible IUI.
"Q: How many infertility patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Screw in a lightbulb?! Hmmm... do you think that might help?"
I wish that we had been able to take a break before our IVF. After all that you have been through Ashley you absolutely deserve it! I'm glad that you are sticking around - I would miss you if you disappeared! Enjoy your time "off".
Thats where we are at now, too... waiting for IVF!
(we are on the pill starting next month, so DEFINITELY not TTC in the waiting time...)
Enjoy your break but stick around here for sure!
After years of trying, 2 years of fertility meds, multiple surgeries, blood draws and needle sticks, some awful pre-IVF complications, and endometriosis and PCOS,
We are done TTC. Praying for peace as we accept this...
Hoping for some comfort after our most recent (and 3rd) surgery and starting Lupron!
Hey Ash, I know how you feel. After miscarrying our twins after Thanksgiving, we have no energy left to worry the little things. We're waiting for our next IVF try too sometime in May. We're not doing anything until then, except acupuncture and herbs for me. I just want to get healthy, mentally and physically, as I'm sure you feel the same right now. I so respect you and the the heart that you put into everything you do. If you need a break, take it and don't feel a bit bad. We love you, always.
By the way, I took a look at your website and I'm so impressed. The Ingrd M. song you have attached to it is playing on my computer just now as I'm writing this
Good luck! We're here when you need us.
TTC #1 with Endometriosis & Antiphospholipid Syndrome since December 2008
Dec 2008 - April 2010 #17 Natural cycles
May 2010 - IUI + clomid 50mg BFN
June 2010 - IUI + clomid 50mg BFN
July 2010 - IUI + clomid 100mg BFN
Sept/OC 2010 - IVF #1 (1 embryo transfered; none to freeze) BFP!!!
Oct 25 2010 - First ultrasound at 6.5 weeks TWO HEARTBEATS!!! The embryo split; we're having identical twins!!!
Nov 30 2010 - Ultrasound at 11 weeks; no heartbeats & no growth past 9 weeks
Dec 2 - D&C#1
Dec 7 2010 - D&C#2
Dec 22 2010 through current - Weekly acupuncture treatment
May/June 2011 - IVF#2 with acupuncture (1 embryo transferred; 4 embies on ice!!!) BFP!!!
June 29 2011 - First ultrasound at 7.0 weeks. Everything looks great so far!
July 18, 2011 - Second ultrasound at 9.5 weeks. Baby is doing great!
Feb 10 2012 - Molly Eileen arrived at 7lbs 11oz and 19inches!!!
That's exactly where we got too last year. Just completely done with it all and it's one of the best decisions we made out of this whole process. I've been able to be so far removed that I no longer feel obsessive or overwhelmed. IVF almost seems manageable and the emotional readiness is way better now than it was last year.
"I will make it through this because it is for her and for her, I will do anything. I am not brave, I am not strong, I am just Rhiannon’s mom". Our TTC/Adoption/Pregnancy Blog: Jump Over The Rainbow