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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
March 8th, 2011, 07:36 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think I need some encouragement. I post less frequently since having Ronan because I don't feel that anything I am doing is interesting enough, but today it's just really hitting me. I was really hoping ttc #2 would be different. I hoped my body would've figured it out and I would get pg quickly this time around- especially now that we know what worked. I don't know- maybe I am being premature, but I tested this afternoon @ 9 days past iui... I THOUGHT for a second there was a shadow, I obsessed and obsessed over it, but I think I am just concluding that it's a total bfn and I am already writing this cycle off.... To make matters worst one of my cousins on my dh's side (who is 20 and a real partier) just found out she is pregnant. I didn't think it would bug me- BOY was I surprised- THEN I find out that I guess the first thing she thought about after finding out she was pregnant was ME. She felt bad that she is pregnant when there are people like me who want desperately to be pg and it takes forever... I haven't even told any of them that we are trying again. I thought I had gotten past being the poor infertile girl once I had Ronan... Don't get me wrong, I am honestly not upset with the cousin, and her thoughts for me are genuinely sweet- I just don't want to be pitied!

Anyway, thanks for listening... Here is my test from this afternoon incase anyone wants to obsess with me

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  #2  
March 8th, 2011, 07:46 PM
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I totally get what you're saying. I also thought I would be over the "let's pity the infertile girl" thing. But even after having a baby, I still feel that some people view me that way-and I hate it! Having one child is such an amazing blessing, but it doesn't take away the frustration, fear and hurt over experiencing infertility for a second time. Hang in there...I know that Little Ronan WILL be a big brother before too long!

Btw-I don't know if it's my imagination or not, but I swear I can see something there...am I the only one???
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  #3  
March 8th, 2011, 07:47 PM
Joliving4Jesus's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When I first glanced at the picture I thought I saw something, 9 dp iui is still very early but I still think I may see a hint of something.

I feel so much like you, thought I was over this all when I had my son but I am back in the same situation with # 2...it took 26 months the first time and now 15 months, why can't it just be easy this time? I am so sorry its so hard but I still have hope for you this cycle!
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  #4  
March 8th, 2011, 07:51 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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I'm so sorry you are having a rough time, Melissa. Infertility isn't "cured" when you get a BFP or have a little one, I know your heart must ache for a sibling for Ronan. Please hang in there, and I will keep you in my prayers!

I really do think I see a shadow of a line as well...that was my first reaction when I scrolled down to the stick. I'm a little out of practice as far as POAS, but I think there is something there! I will have everything crossed that by the end of the week you'll have two nice, dark lines on those tests.

On a side note, thank you so much for sharing your journey with me. I often wonder what TTC#2 will be like...sometimes I try to convince myself that it won't be so bad. Reading about your experiences has helped me realize that it will, once again, be an emotional journey that I need to prepare for. Your insights have been really helpful, and I'm sure other women feel the same way. I am so sorry that you didn't have instant success this time, but please know that by sharing your journey with this board, you are really helping others who will follow in your footsteps
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  #5  
March 8th, 2011, 08:08 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think I see a very light line as well... I hope it is the start to a BFP!
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  #6  
March 8th, 2011, 08:09 PM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry Melissa. I hope that ttc number 2 comes soon for you. I understand what you mean about people pointing out being the "inferitle girl", my mother in law is the worst. I think she thinks she is trying to show she feels sorry for us for what we are going through but it just ends up that she makes me feel worse that I can't give her a grandchild.
Keep going strong...I hope tomorrows test shows a nice bfp for you, you deserve it!
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  #7  
March 8th, 2011, 08:16 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you SO much ladies- I feel like such an emotional nut job today

Melissa- I am glad it helps. One thing I am thankful for is starting TTC even when I wasn't quite sure I was ready, it still felt a little early, but I think if I had waited any longer it would feel even MORE desperate. It does get a *little* better the 2nd time around, because you can cherish the one you have... However it feels like my heart is opening up and making room for another child, waiting for a new little one to fill it- and until it does, it aches all the same as it did when ttc #1 so in that sense, it's very similar.

Thanks again ladies... it really does mean so much to me
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  #8  
March 8th, 2011, 09:51 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We are starting to try again and it is just as frightening to me (I have to wean before we can go back to the RE so its taking a while...but I just had my first PP-ovulation - cause I've taken OPKs for the last 2 months to be sure to catch it)...

I think its one of those things where you dont feel like you can vent as much either - because you do have one...I would say that when you get worried - vent on here anyway - we all understand and a lot of us are feeling the same way...

That being said...2 things:
1. 9DPO is WAY WAY early...I didn't get a + until 11DPO, and even then it was so light that most pictures made it look invisible
2. I see SOMETHING...DEFINITELY see something (which looks just like my HPT did at 11DPO)
Here, I upped saturation and contrast...do you see it?
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  #9  
March 8th, 2011, 10:37 PM
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First of all, big HUGE

9 days piui is TOO EARLY! And you know this because when I tested at 10dpo and got a **YOU** were the one who told me that you got a in the AM with Ronan and by that nite it was a

I thought about what you said allllllll day, and that afternoon I tested again and got a

I know you will make Ronan a big brother very very SOON! Hang in there girlie! We are ALL here for you!
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  #10  
March 8th, 2011, 11:10 PM
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I don't think ttc #2 is any easier than #1, if anything it's harder because you *know* what you are up against! I wish that wasn't the case, but sometimes it's little comfort. I hope you get a BFP soon and can put TTC behind you until you are ready again!
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After years of trying, 2 years of fertility meds, multiple surgeries, blood draws and needle sticks, some awful pre-IVF complications, and endometriosis and PCOS,
We are done TTC. Praying for peace as we accept this...
Hoping for some comfort after our most recent (and 3rd) surgery and starting Lupron!






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  #11  
March 9th, 2011, 05:29 AM
Toots216's Avatar Super Mommy
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Keeping my fingers crossed for you Melissa. I can't see the pic in your post (work computer), but I CAN see the altered one and there is definitely a line there!!!!! I really hope this is it for you, and keep in mind that like everyone else said, it is way way early. Do you have a beta scheduled?
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  #12  
March 9th, 2011, 08:07 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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First of all, I have NO clue what its like to already have a baby and be going through this for #2...but I cant imagine that its any easier the second time around So I know exactly how you feel.

Secondly, there is definitely 100% a line on that test...did you do a trigger? If not, your totally pregnant!

Good Luck!!!
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Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #13  
March 9th, 2011, 09:06 AM
ccartanddesign's Avatar With Faith
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Melissa I can understand how you feel and I have those days too. Don't lost hope though! We have to just keep on trying.
KUP
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Me-38 DH-38. TTC #1 since August 2009
2/2011 - IUI + Femara + HCG trigger and Progesterone injection BFN
3/2011 - IUI + Femara + HCG trigger and Progesterone injection
4/2011 - not doing IUI - DH out of town
5/2011 - IUI with Femara and HCG trigger. In hospital due to infection from IUI.
Took a break from all meds this summer.
9/2011: - Start with new RE - testing begins.
10/2011: - Hysteroscopy - determine tubes are blocked.
10/2011 : - Laparoscopy - clip blocked tubes, determine right ovary is adhered to pelvic wall, cut adhesions
11/24/2011: IVF cycle #1 begins. Start stims.
12/2/2011: End stims. HCG trigger.
12/4/2011: Egg Retrieval. 9 eggs, only 1 embryo.
12/7/2011: Transfer.
12/20/2011: IVF #1 failed.
1/16/2012: IVF #2 first scan
"Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." Matt. 19:26
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  #14  
March 9th, 2011, 09:15 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hey everyone, thank you so much for the encouragement... I woke up this morning just knowing it was over I took a FRER with FMU today at 10 DPO and it looks BFN to me- basically just like yesterday's test.

I do see that tiny little faint line on yesterdays, but that could be left over from the trigger- I don't know if I see ANYTHING on today's test.

UGGGHHHH, I just hate this. I think it is especially hard because I conceived Ronan my second injectable/iui cycle (after many many clomid attempts) So the fact that my second cycle has come and gone is now very discouraging and depressing

Here is today's test.


Last edited by *Melissa*; March 9th, 2011 at 09:22 AM.
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  #15  
March 9th, 2011, 09:25 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Brandi- I am horrible at taking my own advice sometimes lol. I guess I just always feel like if it is going to happen, SOMETHING would show up on 10 dpo... I will test with a cheapie tonight just for kicks. I am not expecting anything at this point though
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  #16  
March 9th, 2011, 09:25 AM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think I see something but I'm looking at it on my phone so I'm not totally sure. I hope it is
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  #17  
March 9th, 2011, 09:55 AM
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My Dr said it can sometimes take two weeks for it to show and even then to be sure they would want me to come in for a blood test. So even if it not showing now doesnt mean its over. I hope everthing goes good for you and hopefully in the next few days you get your BFP!
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  #18  
March 9th, 2011, 10:04 AM
Jacquie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I thought the exact same thing (that we wouldn't have the problems ttc #2 that we had with #1); it's awful.

Do you chart at all?
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TTC #1:
5/20/05:
5/27/05:
5/28/05: miscarriage
08/27/05:
08/30/05: miscarriage
01/15/05: misdiagnosed with PCOS
08/29/06: first appt at fertility clinic (was already pregnant with dd and didn't know it)
08/31/06:
05/16/07: DD was born

TTC #2:
11/13/09: let's try again!
03/10/10: tests with new OB - everything totally normal for DH and I, no indication of pcos; officially diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility"
04/21/10 - 10/13/10: 7 unsuccessful rounds of clomid with OB
11/13/10 - 14/23/11: 3 unsuccessful IUI's with clomid at fertility clinic
07/27/11: ER for IVF - retrieved 27; 17 were mature enough to fertilize; all 17 fertilized; 11 made it to day 3 embryos; 6 made it to day 6 blasts. Transferred 1, froze 5.
08/08/11: positive hpt!
08/13/11 - 08/20/11: positive blood test (186), but cramping and bleeding. 2 days later, blood at 275; 2 days later, blood at 21. Inevitable miscarriage.
10/13/11: start suprefact for first FET
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  #19  
March 9th, 2011, 10:19 AM
Angel_Maker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Melissa* View Post
Brandi- I am horrible at taking my own advice sometimes lol. I guess I just always feel like if it is going to happen, SOMETHING would show up on 10 dpo... I will test with a cheapie tonight just for kicks. I am not expecting anything at this point though

I took a test in the AM at 10DPO and it was

I got the FAINTEST that afternoon, but the FRERs were CRAP this time around! I got better s on blue dye tests

I'm still for you!

I know you know this, but God has a plan...and if you're not pregnant right now, then that just means God knows something about your future that you don't, and he's helping everything fall into place perfectly. We just have to trust him
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  #20  
March 9th, 2011, 10:29 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel_Maker View Post
I know you know this, but God has a plan...and if you're not pregnant right now, then that just means God knows something about your future that you don't, and he's helping everything fall into place perfectly. We just have to trust him
So, so true.

I know our treatments were different, but my beta at 14DPO was only 11.8...there's a lot of time for a little bean to snuggle in and turn those BFNs to blaring BFPs!
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