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FET cancelled


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
June 16th, 2011, 08:37 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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After a couple of days of making lists, long talks with DH, and lots of tears, I just called my RE and canceled our July 22 FET. We are just not ready. I wanted to be ready, and I tried to convince myself that I was ready, but I'm just not.

I didn't mention all of this earlier, but we're moving halfway across the country this fall, DH will be starting a new job that will require some pretty intense training, we're trying to sell our house...we have a lot on our plate right now. Not to mention that I'd be due April 9, which is not so great for an accountant. Financially, it would be more comfortable to wait until our house sells (we completely renovated an old farmhouse, so we have a lot of money tied up in it). I haven't even seen DH for almost two months (the Air Force is borrowing him), and we could really use some time this fall to just get settled into our new home and enjoy being a family. None of those things by itself is enough to make us cancel, but when we take everything added together, I'm just not sure that we can add in an FET on top of it and still come out with our sanity. I have only had 2 cycles since I quite BFing Claire, so I'm not even sure my body is ready for another pregnancy yet. Plus, in my heart, I just don't feel ready to take that next step yet.

My RE explained that he does long-distance FETs frequently. I can do my labs at an IVF center where we are moving, and then fly back here for the FET. He is very comfortable with that, and the added expense of traveling won't be too bad since we can plan everything well in advance.

This was a really tough decision for us to make, but we both feel peaceful with what we have decided. We're going to aim for a February transfer date now, which would give us a Thanksgiving baby. In the meantime, we're going to try on our own and pray for a miracle (DH says we're trying for a "freebie"). I might even try some soy since my last cycle was 45 days and see if that will do the trick.

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement as I have gone thru this emotional process. You all are the best I hope that by the time we're ready for our FET, all of you are gone from this board and in DDCs
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IVF babies Claire (5), Abigail (3) and George (3)

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  #2  
June 16th, 2011, 08:46 AM
aogilvie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 601
I think that sounds smart. I really do. You want to do this stuff when you're ready and can be sane throughout the process. I think we're pretty similar people in that we're organized and we lean towards liking things well-thought out. I get that totally and am behind you 100%!!!
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TTC #1 with Endometriosis & Antiphospholipid Syndrome since December 2008
Dec 2008 - April 2010 #17 Natural cycles
May 2010 - IUI + clomid 50mg BFN
June 2010 - IUI + clomid 50mg BFN
July 2010 - IUI + clomid 100mg BFN
Sept/OC 2010 - IVF #1 (1 embryo transfered; none to freeze) BFP!!!
Oct 25 2010 - First ultrasound at 6.5 weeks TWO HEARTBEATS!!! The embryo split; we're having identical twins!!!
Nov 30 2010 - Ultrasound at 11 weeks; no heartbeats & no growth past 9 weeks
Dec 2 - D&C#1
Dec 7 2010 - D&C#2
Dec 22 2010 through current - Weekly acupuncture treatment
May/June 2011 - IVF#2 with acupuncture (1 embryo transferred; 4 embies on ice!!!) BFP!!!
June 29 2011 - First ultrasound at 7.0 weeks. Everything looks great so far!

July 18, 2011 - Second ultrasound at 9.5 weeks. Baby is doing great!

Feb 10 2012 - Molly Eileen arrived at 7lbs 11oz and 19inches!!!
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  #3  
June 16th, 2011, 09:07 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Totally understand!!! That sounds smart. I would definitely recommend the soy. I just started AF- which arrived 15 days after I got my + OPK, so it's obviously working (as in regulating me) It would be nice to actually achieve pg, but atleast it's getting me on track!
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  #4  
June 16th, 2011, 09:07 AM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,307
I think the decision you made will be really good in the long run. I know it must have been hard to come to the decision but you do have a lot on your plate. Your new plan sounds great too. I hope your house selling goes fast. We want to move in the next year and have put a lot of money into fixing up our house too so I'm scared to sell it too.
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  #5  
June 16th, 2011, 09:36 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: St. Louis, MO
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I think it is wonderful that you came to this decision and are at peace with it. To be honest, I could totally tell in your last post about scheduling it...that you didnt sound 100% in it. I completely understand how much stress you must be under right now, and I think to add one of the most stressful things EVER (infertilty treatments) to that would be really hard.

Im happy that your happy! And a Turkey baby sounds PERFECT!
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Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #6  
June 16th, 2011, 09:41 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
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i had to make a decision a few weeks ago - i really wanted to take a new sales job because right now i am making horrible commissions and we really depend on my quarterly checks - it was a really hard decision but did not make sense w everything going on w TTC and possibly IVF in the next few months

as for you, i think it is great that YOU got to make the decision; the cycle was not canceled bc poor quality eggs, not enough, etc; and the fact that they are frozen is awesome - you can have a wonderful cycle when YOU are ready!
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Married May 2010
TTC since August 2010, almost a year
IUI in December 2010 - BFP - chemical
IUI on 3/13/11 - BFN
April natural cycle - BFP on 4/22 - chemical confirmed 4/28
IUI done on 5/12 - BFN

IUI #4 done 6/6 - BFN
so sick of getting BFNs

total of 4 failed IUIs
IVF in July

using acupuncture 1x week, Royal Jelly, pre natals, organic Spirulina, Maca Root and Red Raspberry tea
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  #7  
June 16th, 2011, 10:20 AM
WrightWife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have to agree with Ali...I think its great that you got to be in the drivers seat for this cancelation. You have to do what is right for you and DH, and it sounds like you did just that!
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  #8  
June 16th, 2011, 10:38 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aogilvie View Post
I think we're pretty similar people in that we're organized and we lean towards liking things well-thought out. I get that totally and am behind you 100%!!!
Wow, you really do know me

Quote:
To be honest, I could totally tell in your last post about scheduling it...that you didnt sound 100% in it.
I know, Ashley! I could tell, too, by the way you worded your response, that you could tell how I felt about it I was still trying to convince myself, but it just isn't meant to be.

I feel so much better since we made this decision last night...like a weight was lifted. Thanks for understanding...it really helps to have all you ladies to talk to about this
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IVF babies Claire (5), Abigail (3) and George (3)

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  #9  
June 16th, 2011, 12:29 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
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It sound like you are a lot happier today than yesterday. MIlitary moves sure add a lot of stress to this whole TTC thing. I hope that everything goes smoothly!

Do you guys have orders now?? I have to admit, I'm hoping they send you closer to me
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2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

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  #10  
June 16th, 2011, 01:02 PM
foodieinFL's Avatar Veteran
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Aww, sorry. Wishing you a when the time is right!
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Me: 36, very mild endo, MTHFR
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TTC #1 since 4/08
Unexplained IF
5/09: HSG-clear tubes
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7/09: Cycle #2 clomid/ovidrel/progesterone =
11/10: Lap-removed very mild endo, corrected uterine septum
6/11: IUI #1 w/ Gonal F, Ovidrel, progesterone = canceled (overstimulated on meds)
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Lost my job. Taking a short break from MA
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  #11  
June 16th, 2011, 01:31 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *JenJen* View Post
It sound like you are a lot happier today than yesterday. MIlitary moves sure add a lot of stress to this whole TTC thing. I hope that everything goes smoothly!

Do you guys have orders now?? I have to admit, I'm hoping they send you closer to me
I feel a LOT better today...like I can breathe again!

No orders yet...sort of makes finding a new house tricky when you don't know where to look
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IVF babies Claire (5), Abigail (3) and George (3)

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  #12  
June 16th, 2011, 01:56 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KMH View Post
I feel a LOT better today...like I can breathe again!

No orders yet...sort of makes finding a new house tricky when you don't know where to look
yup! that's why we chose to rent when we moved here. We weren't sure if we wanted to stay in the area we chose..and now we love it. We're looking at buying if we can find the right place. Are you wanting to buy again or rent?
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My Blog
Me: 27, PCOS, ENDO, RPL, severe vitamin D defficiency
Him: 36, severe MFI post VR but counts climbing

2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body.
We are done actively TTC.
Moving forward with NTNP until we can do IVF in 2017







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  #13  
June 16th, 2011, 02:05 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Depends on the housing market wherever they send us. I'm not opposed to either, as long as it is move-in ready...we spent the past 4 years redoing this place and we really don't want to do that again in the next place.
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  #14  
June 16th, 2011, 02:19 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
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Location: Japan
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HUGS! sounds like it was a very tough decision.but it sounds very reasonable..it sounded as if you were very nervous to do it in the beginning anyway..But you know sometimes God does things like this to show us...you know (im thinking your going to get a surprise bfp..i dont know why but i do!) We had been turned down for a loan for ivf (2 years ago) and we had perfect credit..no idea why..just were turned down..but we didnt give up..we found a way to pay..and it didnt work..well then we got pregnant on our own a few months later! so i think with all that needs to be done you will be so busy..you are gonna get that surprise bfp!! good luck hun..sorry you had to go through like this..but hey Feb isnt really that far away!! HUGS!
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  #15  
June 16th, 2011, 02:20 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
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Yeah, I don't mind painting and such, but we defintiely don't want to be doing renos anytime soon, lol.

We had excellent luck with AHRN when we were looking for this place. I'd been using other sites for months and within two days on AHRN, we totally lucked out and found a house the perfect size and location for the perfect price.
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My Blog
Me: 27, PCOS, ENDO, RPL, severe vitamin D defficiency
Him: 36, severe MFI post VR but counts climbing

2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body.
We are done actively TTC.
Moving forward with NTNP until we can do IVF in 2017







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  #16  
June 16th, 2011, 03:56 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 6,083
((hugs)) I know how it feels to *want* to be ready and just not be. I also know how it feels for the timing to be all wrong. We were supposed to go back to ttc w/ ma last fall...but I wasn't emotionally ready to have another baby at the time and we also had a ton of other things going on too. It was a tough decision to make at the time, but I'm mostly glad we did. I have loved the extra alone time with Alex and, despite sometimes wondering "what might have been", am pretty reconciled with the fact that we had to make the right decision at a particular time.

I hope it all goes fast for you!!!
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  #17  
June 16th, 2011, 04:19 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 995
You gotta do what is right for you! We are all here for you!!!

I used FertilAid before we started using medical assistance. I didn't use it daily like I was supposed to, but I was able to get a BFP on the OPKs. It might be something you want to look into as well!
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TTC #1 since August 2009

DH=42.......SA's off the charts!!!
Me=33........unexplained
One year on our own=BFNs
Clomid+BDing (4 months)=BFNs
IUI #1 Feb. 2011=BFN
IUI #2 Apr. 2011=BFN
1st RE appt.=May 2011
1st IVF cycle June/July=delayed due to OHSS concern
10 Snowbabies!!!!!!!
1st FET Oct. 2011=BFP!!!!!!
Beta #1=1,398
Beta #2=8,032
Beta #3=14,955
11/10/11=1st u/s
WOW, two babies.........
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