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Not sure, might disappear for a couple weeks, mind is in a terrible place. (x-posted)


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
January 6th, 2012, 10:46 AM
Erin84's Avatar POAS Queen
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,952
Had my follie scan this morning and there was ONE that will PROBABLY be okay. The rest sucked. Doc said I would likely get a + OPK on my own by Monday, but if I don't, I'm going in for another u/s to see if that one is ready to be triggered. So I have to take off work for a "maybe" appointment. And I only have one egg (MAYBE), which is what I have every other miserable cycle of my life, except I'm not paying $250 and on all kinds of stupid meds those cycles. So glad I have acne all over my face just for fun... I can NOT get pregnant just fine all on my own. I don't need to pay to have the same ****** results. Last cycle we had two good follies and two maybe's and here I am not pregnant, so needless to say MY HOPES ARE IN THE GUTTER. Rotten ******* wasteland inside my body. Sewage running through my veins instead of blood. I will never be a mom.
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)


Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.




^^ Click graphic for chart ^^


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  #2  
January 6th, 2012, 12:23 PM
Hopingfor1soon's Avatar Expecting a Miracle!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Montana
Posts: 6,719
Send a message via MSN to Hopingfor1soon Send a message via Yahoo to Hopingfor1soon
I am so sorry you are in a bad place! I think we have all been there before! Have you tried injectables yet? (Sorry I am new here) I did HORRIBLE on Clomid, but responded amazingly to injects! YOU WILL BE A MOM!!!
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  #3  
January 6th, 2012, 12:43 PM
ccartanddesign's Avatar With Faith
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 997
I understand how you are feeling. Hoping is right: YOU WILL BE A MOM!
__________________
Me-38 DH-38. TTC #1 since August 2009
2/2011 - IUI + Femara + HCG trigger and Progesterone injection BFN
3/2011 - IUI + Femara + HCG trigger and Progesterone injection
4/2011 - not doing IUI - DH out of town
5/2011 - IUI with Femara and HCG trigger. In hospital due to infection from IUI.
Took a break from all meds this summer.
9/2011: - Start with new RE - testing begins.
10/2011: - Hysteroscopy - determine tubes are blocked.
10/2011 : - Laparoscopy - clip blocked tubes, determine right ovary is adhered to pelvic wall, cut adhesions
11/24/2011: IVF cycle #1 begins. Start stims.
12/2/2011: End stims. HCG trigger.
12/4/2011: Egg Retrieval. 9 eggs, only 1 embryo.
12/7/2011: Transfer.
12/20/2011: IVF #1 failed.
1/16/2012: IVF #2 first scan
"Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." Matt. 19:26
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  #4  
January 6th, 2012, 12:46 PM
KMH KMH is offline
TTCMA Cheer Captain
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: right of center
Posts: 19,144
We all have those days; I'm so sorry your body isn't responding as well you expected. I hope this cycle has a surprisingly happy ending...hang in there!
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Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (4), Abigail (2) and George (2)

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  #5  
January 6th, 2012, 01:52 PM
Jenn in DC's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 951
I'm am so sorry that things aren't going the way you hoped. I've been in that bad place too. I hope things start to turn around for you soon.
__________________
My IVF Miracle Baby
Aven Robert - Born August 4th 2012





My History
Jenn in DC=37 DH=46
TTC #1 since July 2009

Cycles 1-12 = BFN
Cycle #13 - 15= IUIs with Clomid & Gonal F - All BFNs
Cycle #16 -21 - Natural Cycles, started acupuncture and chinese herbs - BFN
Cycle #22 - IVF Clinical Trial. Cycle Cancelled.
Cycle #23 - Minimal Stimulation IVF #1 - 2 eggs retrieved, fertilized and frozen on Day 3.
Cycle #24 - Mini-IVF #2 - 2 eggs retrieved, fertilized and frozen as expanded blasts on Day 5.
Cycle #25 - Mini-IVF #3 - 4 eggs retrieved (two mature and 2 immature), one egg made it to blast and was frozen. Five snowbabies in all!! Hysteroscopy.
Cycle #26 Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP and then miscarriage
Cycle #27 - Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP!!
Due Date: July 20th
Aven Robert Born on August 4th
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  #6  
January 6th, 2012, 03:00 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,757
:hugs:
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My Blog
2006-2013 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2014






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  #7  
January 6th, 2012, 04:23 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,729
Send a message via MSN to *Melissa*
Oh hun, I just want to give you a big hug. You have had one tough road... But I just KNOW that you are going to be a fabulous mama to a thriving healthy baby. Hang in there. I am praying that you find peace during this time, and the strength to continue . Take care of yourself.

I have to say, that every time I see your signature pic of your son Andrew, I just want to kiss his little face. You make beautiful babies <3
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  #8  
January 6th, 2012, 04:45 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
oh Erin this post made me want to cry for you...i know you've been through so much already....try to keep your hope up - i know it's depressing to not respond the way you wanted to on the Clomid, but 1 perfect follie with a good egg is all you need. Don't give up on this cycle yet! (((HUGS)))
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Lara

Savannah Stylin!





Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
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  #9  
January 6th, 2012, 05:58 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 10,800
I'm sorry it didn't go as you expected.
My understanding is that clomid doesn't necessarily result in more than one egg - while it's possible, it is not prescribed with the goal of increasing the number of follies/eggs. There's another med that would be used in conjunction with it if the goal was to get more than one mature follie. Just throwing that out there so you know it's not YOU!!
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- 03/28/10 09/'10 06/'11, D&C July 20 Apr/'12

Baby girl born Feb 2013






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  #10  
January 6th, 2012, 11:12 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 11,298
I wanted to share with you that Clomid was the same for me. I didn't produce any more follicles on it than I did without it, but I did have one follicle that produced the pregnancy I'm having right now. I do remember feeling really skeptical and hopeless that the IUI (my second) would work with just the one follicle, but it just takes one good one. Best of luck to you. I hope you get your BFP really soon.
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Last edited by *Jillian*; January 6th, 2012 at 11:14 PM.
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  #11  
January 7th, 2012, 08:15 AM
mistletoe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,248
I am so sorry that you are weighted by these horrible feelings that we've all been hit with through this difficult journey. (Not that sharing the misery in common with others really ever makes us feel better, per se.) But there is real understanding here of that heartbreak. Be strong, fill your heart with love and don't give up on yourself.
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  #12  
January 7th, 2012, 07:34 PM
sweet.hun's Avatar We're Complete <3
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Dover, DE
Posts: 7,402
Have you tried Femara at all? I know a woman who didn't respond to Clomid at all but did to Femara. You WILL be a mom, I just know it!
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Always missing my 3 angels. 2/9/06, 3/12/11, 5/22/12
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  #13  
January 8th, 2012, 07:56 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chicago!
Posts: 2,431
It is not hopeless babe. You WILL be a mom, and you will be the BEST mom ever because you will not take one day for granted. For me Clomid had on and off months - the first month, 3 eggs (actually confirmed with an u/s and p-draw), the second I think just 1 (p-draw MUCH lower), and third month 1 egg. It sucks, because we want all the chances we can, but try not to lose hope just yet hun. Love you tons, we'll get through this!
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Always remembering our angel babies - 4/2011 (ectopic), 4/2012 (chemical) and
Angel Twins 5/23/14 (at 7 weeks 2 days)



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  #14  
January 8th, 2012, 06:34 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
I am so sorry you are in such a place right now. I just wanted to give you hugs.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #15  
January 9th, 2012, 01:40 PM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,753
Hi - I hope you are feeling better today than when you made this first post. Update us and let us know you are better if you already haven't in another post and I missed it.

super duper big hugs to you!
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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