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Had my follie scan this morning and there was ONE that will PROBABLY be okay. The rest sucked. Doc said I would likely get a + OPK on my own by Monday, but if I don't, I'm going in for another u/s to see if that one is ready to be triggered. So I have to take off work for a "maybe" appointment. And I only have one egg (MAYBE), which is what I have every other miserable cycle of my life, except I'm not paying $250 and on all kinds of stupid meds those cycles. So glad I have acne all over my face just for fun... I can NOT get pregnant just fine all on my own. I don't need to pay to have the same ****** results. Last cycle we had two good follies and two maybe's and here I am not pregnant, so needless to say MY HOPES ARE IN THE GUTTER. Rotten ******* wasteland inside my body. Sewage running through my veins instead of blood. I will never be a mom.
With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
I am so sorry you are in a bad place! I think we have all been there before! Have you tried injectables yet? (Sorry I am new here) I did HORRIBLE on Clomid, but responded amazingly to injects! YOU WILL BE A MOM!!!
I understand how you are feeling. Hoping is right: YOU WILL BE A MOM!
Me-38 DH-38. TTC #1 since August 2009 2/2011 - IUI + Femara + HCG trigger and Progesterone injection BFN 3/2011 - IUI + Femara + HCG trigger and Progesterone injection 4/2011 - not doing IUI - DH out of town 5/2011 - IUI with Femara and HCG trigger. In hospital due to infection from IUI.
Took a break from all meds this summer. 9/2011: - Start with new RE - testing begins. 10/2011: - Hysteroscopy - determine tubes are blocked. 10/2011 : - Laparoscopy - clip blocked tubes, determine right ovary is adhered to pelvic wall, cut adhesions 11/24/2011: IVF cycle #1 begins. Start stims. 12/2/2011: End stims. HCG trigger. 12/4/2011: Egg Retrieval. 9 eggs, only 1 embryo. 12/7/2011: Transfer. 12/20/2011: IVF #1 failed. 1/16/2012: IVF #2 first scan
"Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." Matt. 19:26
I'm am so sorry that things aren't going the way you hoped. I've been in that bad place too. I hope things start to turn around for you soon.
__________________ My History Jenn in DC=39 DH=48
Started TTC #1 July 2009
Summer 2010 - Three IUIs with Clomid & Gonal F - All BFNs
Winter 2011 - IVF Clinical Trial. Cycle Cancelled.
March 2011 - Minimal Stimulation IVF #1 - 2 eggs retrieved, fertilized and frozen on Day 3.
April 2011 - Mini-IVF #2 - 2 eggs retrieved, fertilized and frozen as expanded blasts on Day 5.
May 2011 - Mini-IVF #3 - 4 eggs retrieved (two mature and 2 immature), one egg made it to blast and was frozen. Five snowbabies in all!! Hysteroscopy.
July 2011 - Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP and then miscarriage
November 2011 - Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP!! Aven Robert Born on August 4, 2012
July 2014 - Got Pregnant Naturally with Twins! Miscarriage at 9 weeks.
November 2014 - Since Frozen Embryo Transfer
Oh hun, I just want to give you a big hug. You have had one tough road... But I just KNOW that you are going to be a fabulous mama to a thriving healthy baby. Hang in there. I am praying that you find peace during this time, and the strength to continue . Take care of yourself.
I have to say, that every time I see your signature pic of your son Andrew, I just want to kiss his little face. You make beautiful babies <3
oh Erin this post made me want to cry for you...i know you've been through so much already....try to keep your hope up - i know it's depressing to not respond the way you wanted to on the Clomid, but 1 perfect follie with a good egg is all you need. Don't give up on this cycle yet! (((HUGS)))
Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
I'm sorry it didn't go as you expected.
My understanding is that clomid doesn't necessarily result in more than one egg - while it's possible, it is not prescribed with the goal of increasing the number of follies/eggs. There's another med that would be used in conjunction with it if the goal was to get more than one mature follie. Just throwing that out there so you know it's not YOU!!
- 03/28/10 09/'10 06/'11, D&C July 20 Apr/'12
I wanted to share with you that Clomid was the same for me. I didn't produce any more follicles on it than I did without it, but I did have one follicle that produced the pregnancy I'm having right now. I do remember feeling really skeptical and hopeless that the IUI (my second) would work with just the one follicle, but it just takes one good one. Best of luck to you. I hope you get your BFP really soon.
Last edited by *Jillian*; January 7th, 2012 at 12:14 AM.
I am so sorry that you are weighted by these horrible feelings that we've all been hit with through this difficult journey. (Not that sharing the misery in common with others really ever makes us feel better, per se.) But there is real understanding here of that heartbreak. Be strong, fill your heart with love and don't give up on yourself.
It is not hopeless babe. You WILL be a mom, and you will be the BEST mom ever because you will not take one day for granted. For me Clomid had on and off months - the first month, 3 eggs (actually confirmed with an u/s and p-draw), the second I think just 1 (p-draw MUCH lower), and third month 1 egg. It sucks, because we want all the chances we can, but try not to lose hope just yet hun. Love you tons, we'll get through this!