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DH's attitude has changed...


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
February 11th, 2013, 02:56 PM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Moving on to adoption
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,738
When we first got the results back about the SA.. DH was all "Tell me what I need to do to fix this" and I was happy and thinking we got this. No worries.

Wrong. Fast forward to now. I refused to allow DH to take the clomid and the hCG because the doses were insane and I knew that the damage could be far worse. Curse me and my darn medical education.

I asked DH to go back to his flight surgeon to get a referral to a urologist. He said he would. And said he would. Then said he would again.

Fast forward to now and DH is barely even remembering to take his vitamins. He acts like he wants to get pregnant, asks me if I'm ovulating yet so we can DTD one more time. Ok.. not like we don't DTD enough as it is.. every two days on average. When I asked him why he hadn't made an appointment yet he asked what for? What would the urologist do that hadn't been done already? And I said "Give you the right doses!!!"

He just mumbled something about the risks and went and did laundry.

*sigh*

Now we've been having a lot of stress, too, because of my job. I'm trying to rectify that. I've interviewed at three separate clinics in the last two weeks and I'm praying something comes up soon.

I'm not sure what to think or do at this point. Our 3% chance of conceiving naturally is hanging over my head and I'm waiting on a referral to a different OB/Gyn.
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"Worry is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere"
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  #2  
February 11th, 2013, 03:01 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,626
First ! I'm sorry that DH isn't on top of getting the referral. Men just don't get it sometimes.
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  #3  
February 11th, 2013, 03:34 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,688
*hugs* men just don't get it, and of course we can't make the appointments for them. I hope he changes his attitude soon.
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2006-2013 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
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  #4  
February 11th, 2013, 03:59 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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what d ladies said men just don't get it
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  #5  
February 11th, 2013, 05:01 PM
onlybygrace's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,045
Sorry you're dealing with this.
I'm sorry to repeat almost all the other posts, but men really don't get it!!!
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  #6  
February 11th, 2013, 10:10 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
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Location: Bay area CA
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Oh jen I'm sorry!
IF is such a strain... Maybe he's going through something or just at one of those temper tantrum moments? And change his mind later?
I wish i could say something to make it easier for you!
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  #7  
February 12th, 2013, 05:45 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
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Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,620
From my experience with my own DH - you can't push them to do anything. They resent that and it makes things worse. Mine has had vitamins for 12 months now that he wasn't taking when we were TTC on our own. Now that that we are weeks away from IVF he has been taking them like it's his job. Well maybe if he would have been taking them this whole dang time we wouldn’t need IVF. DUH

He had a SA done a few weeks ago (same day as my mock transfer gone bad) and his results came back better than they EVER have. So his morphology is even better which is almost impossible to fix. All I can say is it's been the vitamins. Now just imagine if he would have been taken them this whole dang time? PUNK! UGH I don't say anything though because he knows - he doesn't need me to beat it into him. I am his partner not his mother or boss. I am going to get to my point now…….

Maybe your DH is afraid to go to the Urologist? Worried they will really find something wrong that isn't fixable? Mine was scared to death about. He was a wreck with all these blood tests and stuff for IVF. He was making himself sick of the thought that he had HIV or Hepatitis. So maybe yours is afraid too? Fear keeps us from doing lots of things in this life.
*Leah*, *Whiskey* and katydae88 like this.
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #8  
February 12th, 2013, 06:35 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Moving on to adoption
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,738
Gretchen I have to agree, I think that's probably why he's so stubborn about it. He's definitely on board with having another baby and that hasn't changed. It's just this attitude that swung from gun-ho to meh. LOL.

Ah well.

Though there is one less stressor.. ish. I quit my job at the ER this morning.
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Jen

"Worry is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere"
(easier in theory than practice!)
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  #9  
February 12th, 2013, 07:06 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,620
wow you quit you job? I hope you get one of those other ones!
Is DH okay with that?
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #10  
February 12th, 2013, 07:11 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Moving on to adoption
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,738
When I told him DH said "In my eyes you did the right thing." He's completely calm about it. Meanwhile I'm freaking out. I've cried, panicked, and since I've been home already cleaned the house, both floors. I'm just.. I don't know. I pray I get another job but I couldn't work there anymore.
*Leah*, kayakr and katydae88 like this.
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Jen

"Worry is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere"
(easier in theory than practice!)
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  #11  
February 12th, 2013, 07:27 AM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,688
*hugs* you know, I really believe things are meant to work out job-wise. I quit my very stressful retail job 18 months ago for a very part time online job and planning on starting a low stress desk job 2 months later..and never was able to start the desk job. I still work for the same online company but things have gotten to be amazing and I was even able to keep my job when we moved. I hope you find something soon that will be enjoyable and not as stressful.
*Leah*, *Whiskey* and katydae88 like this.
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My Blog
2006-2013 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2014






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  #12  
February 12th, 2013, 07:30 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,620
You'll get another one! If you can't work there then it sounds like you made the right choice. Don't look back. Get your spring cleaning done, have a glass of wine and focus on your next adventure!
*Whiskey* likes this.
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #13  
February 12th, 2013, 07:41 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Moving on to adoption
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,738
Thanks girls. That means a lot to me.

I've been looking at online jobs. I used to contract for uhaul (i know.. funny kind of) and that wasn't too bad. Of course.. it's been years since I worked from home so I have no idea where to start again.
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Jen

"Worry is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere"
(easier in theory than practice!)
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  #14  
February 12th, 2013, 07:59 AM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,688
with your nursing experience, have you considered medical transcripting? I see postings for things along those lines quite often.
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My Blog
2006-2013 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2014






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  #15  
February 12th, 2013, 09:05 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
i agree with everyone else that guys sometimes deal with stress with avoidance, so hopefully he'll make that appt already lol so you can quit worrying about it.

i think quiting your job was smart if it was so stressful...while this is a total out of the box suggestion, if you want a desk job also check out some law firms in your area - a lot look for people with medical background to assist with litigation involving doctors, hospitals, etc. and often pay really well for RNs. Just a thought if you're looking for something totally different (boring though, i warn you in advance LOL)
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  #16  
February 12th, 2013, 09:07 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Moving on to adoption
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,738
At this point after being in EMS and the ER for 15 years I think I need a change. A deskjob might be right up my alley!

I'll look into that transcription, Jen, thank you!
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Jen

"Worry is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere"
(easier in theory than practice!)
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  #17  
February 12th, 2013, 11:06 AM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way!
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,308
1st YAY for the job change...I hope you find the right fit soon!....

and yes, getting DH's to take meds is such a chore. I sent 2 months of fertilityblend to work with DH (60 days worth) and 4 1/2 months later he finally said he ran out....that is about 90 work days, so he obviously was not taking them daily. I had them set out for him on the weekend and half the time he wouldn't take them . GGGGGRRRRRRRRR

Men are just big babies...you aren't alone...
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  #18  
February 12th, 2013, 11:59 AM
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Posts: 12,271
I did online medical transcription and unless you know someone or have experience doing transcriptions you get all the crazy talking foreign doctors since you are new! Plus it also depends on if you type quickly and coordination pushing the pedal back and forth to move forward and rewind. I ended up not doing it anymore because it was so stressful and aggravating so be careful if you are really looking in to doing it. Its hard to make a lot of money doing it too.
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  #19  
February 13th, 2013, 08:29 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Moving on to adoption
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,738
I have a "working" interview with a clinic I interviewed at on Monday today at 2pm. So, that's good news at least. Pay cut, better hours, and no ER LOL!! Pros outweigh the cons here.
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Jen

"Worry is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere"
(easier in theory than practice!)
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  #20  
February 13th, 2013, 11:46 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,620
Good Luck - let us know how it went!
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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