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I'm having a really rough day


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  • 2 Post By IndyMommyWannabe
  • 1 Post By melissaleigh
  • 1 Post By starlitnite611
  • 3 Post By RoMo
  • 3 Post By swtneka
  • 2 Post By kayakr
  • 2 Post By JulieMc
  • 3 Post By Onelove121

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  #1  
February 16th, 2013, 05:11 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
How do you handle going to all the baby showers?? Or the questions or even the horrible comments about how you are a disappointment because you are the first born but don't have a family??

No one knows about our miscarriage or fertility issues. I felt that was just ours. I just didn't want to tell anyone because then it was real.


*sorry for the downer post... I just don't have any one here to vent to...
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  #2  
February 16th, 2013, 05:29 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
vent away. Fortunately I don't have too many people ask about our fertility, most people know what we're going through...I do have one aunt who calls out of the blue every once in a while (and doesn't know) and will always say "so when are YOU guys having kids?????" and I just laugh and say "some day" as it's none of her business.

I've learned who I can say stuff to and who I can't. I have one friend who - no matter how much I try to tell her we have a legitimate medical reason she INSISTS on constantly telling me to "just relax" and to "stop wanting it so bad" so I never even bring it up to her anymore.

and don't worry about venting, it's what we are here for!
*Leah* and starlitnite611 like this.
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TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #3  
February 16th, 2013, 05:41 PM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,221
Sorry you are having such a rough day I'm really glad this forum is here. Not many people understand what we are going through or doing. I even had one person make jokes that I'm buying a baby. Sometimes people can be insensitive. I hope you feel better soon
starlitnite611 likes this.
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  #4  
February 16th, 2013, 05:49 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
Thanks Ladies. I truly believed in October that metformin was going to get us a bfp by Christmas. Now I have moments when I beyond the moon excited. Then I'm on the verge of tears. My sil baby shower notification couldn't have come at a better time. And the next letter in the mail was my nephew's birth announcement from the other sil. I think we need a vacation, a time machine, and a miracle. Thank you for letting me vent. Y'all are great.
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  #5  
February 16th, 2013, 06:44 PM
RoMo's Avatar Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 14
I agree...showers are hard. It's easy to be around babies I already love, but its just that even though you are so happy for your friend, it's like the worst jealousy ever. And then you feel badly for feeling jealous because its not about you. But ****.

As far as the questions, I've started saying something along the lines of "We have a plan" and leaving it at that.
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  #6  
February 16th, 2013, 09:04 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,668
It is hard and I will be honest I hold alot in and I have both families asking all the time about us having another baby. There is probably one person in my life know I'm having problems but no oneknows the pain I feel and the toll it's taking in my life. I honestly believe it has changed me over the years (y I'm 60lbs heavier) there isn't a day I don't think about it. I was talking to my Dh today and he was talking about how 5 years tomorrow it's not only my bday but when he proposed and how time just flew by and the first thing I remembered was how days b4 that I had my mc and our child would be going on 4. *sighs* not a good day for me as well. Sorry I vented in your post..
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  #7  
February 16th, 2013, 10:12 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
When I had my mc, I was in class. I kept it a secret from everyone one including my dh until about a month ago. That's when I told him and my best friend. My issues with getting pregnant don't really matter to my best friend. I didn't realize that I had never seen a bfp before joining this board. (They told me I had mc before I ever took a pregnancy test.) I appreciate you venting. I am so very sorry for each of your heartaches, but will be forever thankful that you shared and could make me feel as though someone else can understand. It's a little less lonely. I know that I am just starting down this road and I am trying to stay positive, but there is a part of me that worries that no one will ever call me mommie.



@swtneka- I will say an extra prayer for you. I pray you have a wonderful birthday *hugs*
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  #8  
February 17th, 2013, 07:00 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,760
I am sorry you guys are bad days. I hope today everyone feels better. This journey has every emotional feeling possible.

I handle baby showers by realizing that I am there to celebrate the life of a baby and everyone loves a baby right? Not my baby but a baby. Their circumstances and my circumstances are separate. I try to make my head control my emotions and it works for me most of the time.

It is hard when no one around you understands. Even when they and try to understand they just don't. It is lonely sometimes but that is why you have to keep reaching out to people. Maybe find a local support group or using this board.

I know without this board the last two years would have been unmanageable for me. I hope that you can find the same relief here that others have and that someone will call you mommie at some point.
Onelove121 and starlitnite611 like this.
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #9  
February 17th, 2013, 04:03 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,004
Fortunately all our friends are past their first babies, so no more baby showers to attend here. The thing that gets me are the comments and questions from other people who are like "so when are you guys going to have another?" or... "I'm ready for you guys to have another." or "Why haven't you had another one yet?" GRR! I would have had another baby a long time ago if it were all up to me and under my control. :/ No one really knows that we've gone through so many miscarriages, or that we're having troubles conceiving now... I guess I just try to be polite, and answer something like "We will have more eventually."
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  #10  
February 17th, 2013, 04:58 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northwest Indiana
Posts: 831
((HUGE HUGS)) IF fing sucks
*Leah*, RoMo and starlitnite611 like this.
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Kristina (34) David (34)~Dealing with Severe MFI (Low T, Low TSH, Thyroid Cancer Survivor)
TTC#1 for 1 1/2 years~ DS, DJ (3) Conceived naturally using acupuncture and herbs
TTC #2 for 1 1/2 yrs~DH(3 mths on Clomid&Olive Leaf Extract)
Our 1st Clomid & TI cycle August 2013 -BFP on 9/08/13!!!!!!!!





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  #11  
February 17th, 2013, 06:21 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
Y'all are so very kind. And help so much! Thank you!!
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  #12  
February 17th, 2013, 07:32 PM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,481
((hugs)) I went to one yesterday, and I did pretty good. I've cried in the bathroom at one before. It gets easier somehow. I usually just tell people that "time will tell". Best of luck to you.
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TTC#1 since 10/2006, 5 failed IUI's, 1st IVF successful BFP!! Baby Girl 2/2011
TTC#2 BFP 9/2011, Natural Pregnancy! 3/30/12 M/C'd on 5/15/12 (9 weeks)
IVF#2 BFP 4/2013 M/C 6/2/13 (8 weeks)
FET #1 BFP 8/2013 - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #3 - Retrieval Oct 31st, Txferred 2 on 5d - a Blast and Morula - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #4 - ER scheduled for 4/4/14 retrieved 4 eggs. Txferred 3 embryos 4/7/14!....BFN...NOW WHAT?
Check out my NEWBORN Hats and Baby Items
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  #13  
February 19th, 2013, 03:55 AM
onlybygrace's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,045
Dealing with pregnant friends is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
My best friend got pregnant after we've been trying for over a year, and we had a huge blowout.

I realised I let my jealousy get the better of me, apologised, and we made up, but things have never really got back to how they were before.

Her baby shower was just last weekend, and I was out of town for a business trip. Lucky that, because I don't know how I would have handled it.
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Not without the grace of heaven were you born and bred - Homer, The Odyssey

TTC our 1st since June 2011

6 cycles of Clomid, 2 cycles injectables, 5 IUIs: ALL BFNs

IVF #1: Starting 5th March 2013 - Praying for my 1st ever BFP!



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  #14  
February 19th, 2013, 06:49 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
I'm so sorry that y'all had a blow out. I'll keep y'all in my thoughts and prayers. This is just the most difficult thing ever.
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