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I don't typically post much on the main board, only the ttc with ivf forum. Yesterday I received the news that my first IVF failed. I was devastated and spent most of yesterday crying. I know that time will help me heal; but I was wondering if there was anyone out here who also had a failed IVF and if so, what helped you cope.
Thank you! XO
__________________ TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility
Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp
January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo
June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2
FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13
Have never seen a bfp.
Last edited by Nicholle ttc; February 28th, 2013 at 10:25 AM.
I replied on the IVF thread, but I just wanted to say again how very sorry I am.
I wish there was some explanation as to why this happens to people who want a baby so badly...but life is so unfair sometimes...
Hope you regroup soon, and are ready to trya gain.
I know I don't have experience myself, but I do have a few friends that their first IVF didn't work but subsequent IVFs did....You did nothing wrong, just know that. Sometimes it takes a bit to figure out the meds and everything.
I know how badly you want this. I'm sending a HUGE ((HUG))....and praying so bad that your frosties bring you that bfp!
Hang in there. I am sure some JM ladies that have had failed IVF cycles will chime in to help.
In the mean time - know you did nothing wrong and lean on the fact that you have some snowbabies waiting to meet their momma! Mourn and grieve over this cycle the best you know how but there is a soul out there just waiting for the chance to call you mommy so keep your eye on the prize.
So sorry your first IVF didn't work out. As hard as it is please try to stay positive. I personally would get ready for the next cycle and keep going right away. I know what works for some doesn't always work for others. Some people need to take a little time and figure out their next step. What ever you decide we will all support you.
NTNP since March 2012, TTC since August 2012, HSG = one blocked tube, SA = normal, 1st RE 7/11 - took a zillion tests, 2nd RE appt = Tubal issue with PCOS tendencies, possible polyp, August 2013 - possible polyp, September 2013 - new job, insurance change! January 2014 - new insurance, March 2014 - new RE appointment?
Back when we were doing IVF, our first try failed, too. I was 25 with no medical problems, but we had severe male factor infertility. We had tons of eggs, lots of great looking embryos. They transferred 2 perfect embryos--I was convinced I'd have to get pregnant, right? Nope, BFN. Even though everything was "perfect." On our second try (FET), we again transferred 2, and I did get pg, but that one ended up being a chemical pregnancy.
I don't know why it works sometimes and why it doesn't. But just because the first one didn't work, don't lose hope.
I have had multiple failed IVFs. The first IVF I had changed into an IUI because I didn't respond well to the meds. I was able to suck that one up because we had a plan to change the meds, which the RE thought would make me more successful. The second IVF I harvested only 5 eggs & none fertilized. I was devastated, but pulled myself up by the bootstraps knowing that we would change my meds again and add a priming cycle. I prayed that this protocol was our answer and would lead us to get pregnant. So on the third IVF, we transferred two 5 cell embryos (I harvested 17 eggs...Wahoo). I was so hopeful that we were pregnant with twins. This BFN made me very sad. It was so hard to actually get to transfer and want it sooo badly. My RE said because I responded so well to that cycle that she recommended we try one more time. Her hope gave me and DH hope. I believed that it would work out...it just had to! My next IVF was in Dec. I didn't respond as well. We transferred one embryo and it was a BFN. I felt like a failure. My RE then gave me the report that my eggs were not of the quality to make a pregnancy and that caused me to hit a wall. I was frozen that my future would not include a family for DH & me.
I now see a psychologist to help me through my feelings, thoughts, struggles with my infertility. She has helped me recover leaps and bounds from where I was in Dec. I was unable to do anything but go to work and come home and get in bed and cry for a couple of weeks. I was in a downward spiral and knew I had to do something for myself to get back to me and be healthy in mind and body.
I hope you don't get to the point I was at! My advice is to keep looking forward, never lose hope that your baby is coming & be honest and open with DH about your thoughts and feeling throughout the process! GOOD LUCK! We're all here for you!