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it's over. (miscarriage mentioned)


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
February 25th, 2013, 07:18 AM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,756
after several days of intermittent spotting, this morning I woke up bleeding heavily cramping horribly, and a HPT registered as barely positive. i'm hurting both physically and emotionally even though I have been expecting it.

i'm taking some time away from the board for a day or two. i just need to hide until I can start to figure out how to function again.

thank you all for your support. it means the world to me. i'll be back in a few days to cheer you all on and watch your pregnancies. please if you do respond, don't hide your siggies- even though it hurts right now to see them, in a few days they will remind me once again why I should have hope and keep going.
__________________

My Blog
2006-2013 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2014







Last edited by *JenJen*; February 25th, 2013 at 07:34 AM.
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  #2  
February 25th, 2013, 07:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,866
Oh Jen, I'm so incredibly sorry. I can't even imagine what you must feel right now. This just isn't fair!!! I don't even have words for it.
__________________
New siggie coming soon!





Me: Autoimmune (Hashimotos and Fibromyalgia), vitamin D and calcium deficiency. Treated with Synthroid, supplements, TCM and acupuncture.

DH: Severe MFI (low counts, low motility, poor morphology and high antibodies), likely caused by poor liver function. Treated with Clomid to increase total counts.

DD: Conceived after 1 year of TTC with progesterone to correct LPD (likely caused by undiagnosed thyroid dysfunction). Born Aug 2009 via c/s after an induction due to pre-e and HELLP.

TTC #2 since Oct10 with an early loss in Aug 2011. Post-wash counts are too low for IUI to be successful, so moving on to IVF/ICSI in May 2014!

IVF/ICSI #1 (May 2014): Estrogen priming and antagonist protocol, including acupuncture and prayer!
17/05/14 - Baseline looks good, start Gonal-F 225iu and Luveris 75iu
28/05/14 - 18 eggs retrieved, 14 mature
29/05/14 - 13 fertilized!!! All are looking great still on day 3, so we're going to blast!
02/06/14 - Transferred one 1BC blast, with 3 other blasts and 3 morulas to watch and freeze
03/06/14 - All embryos have arrested. None to freeze
09/06/14 - Faint BFP at home at 7dp5dt!!!!!
10/06/14 - Beta?
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  #3  
February 25th, 2013, 07:23 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059
Oh Jen, I'm so sorry!

I wish I had the words to make you feel better! Just know that though I do not post on this board all that often, you have been so inspirational! Sending lots of :hugs: and T&Ps your way.

And don't feel badly about leaving your board. I'm the co-host of ttc #1 and I had to leave my board last week after failed IVF. I'm just trying to get back to co-hosting today.
*Leah* likes this.
__________________
TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






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  #4  
February 25th, 2013, 07:25 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
NO!! It's not fair at all!!! I wish I could say anything that would help. Please take your time to heal and please take very good care of yourself. I'm so so sorry Jen.
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26

Last edited by smsturner; February 25th, 2013 at 08:00 AM.
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  #5  
February 25th, 2013, 07:26 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
Oh Jen, I'm so very sorry. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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  #6  
February 25th, 2013, 07:33 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
oh god Jen this just breaks my heart, i am so sad right now...i wish our love & wishes could fix this for you, I am so terribly sorry that you are going through this again...unfair doesn't even cover it, i am so upset that this even happens once much less more than once, and you've already suffered more than anyone We're here when you're ready to come back...sending you tons of positive, healing thoughts (((((HUGS)))))
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  #7  
February 25th, 2013, 07:37 AM
KMH KMH is offline
TTCMA Cheer Captain
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: right of center
Posts: 19,127
Crap. Crap crap crap. I'm so, so sorry, Jen. I wish there was something I could do or say that would help. I am sending you lots of hugs and praying that they physical pain will be over soon so you have at least one less thing to deal with.
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Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (4), Abigail (2) and George (2)

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  #8  
February 25th, 2013, 07:39 AM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,629
I am so so so sorry Jen!!!
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Thank you so much Bokkechick for the perfect siggie!!!
12-10-10 2-6-12
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  #9  
February 25th, 2013, 07:54 AM
Raunchero's Avatar Happy as a Clam :)
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,272
Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. Take all the time you need. Take some te for yourself. I will be praying for you.
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Rochelle











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  #10  
February 25th, 2013, 08:16 AM
MandyEllen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,452
God bless you, Jen! I'm so sorry that this happened. I'm praying for your healing.
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Mandy (34)
6/29/13 - transferred 2 embryos
7/10/13 - 14 dpo beta=300
7/12/13 - 16 dpo beta=825
7/19/13 - 23 dpo beta=18,870
7/26/13 - 30 dpo beta=72,091


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  #11  
February 25th, 2013, 08:26 AM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,221
So terribly sorry Jen. I wish you comfort in your time of need.
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  #12  
February 25th, 2013, 08:30 AM
Angelgirl30's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 783
I will say a prayer for you Jenn!! That is so hard! I'm terribly sorry!!
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Thank you Vicki... for my awesome siggy!!!







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  #13  
February 25th, 2013, 09:02 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,271
I am so sorry. I can't even think of what to say because I just know how much you are hurting right now and nothing can really help that. Im just so sorry this happened to you again and I can't wrap my head around why things like this happen to good people.
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16 weeks
4 weeks
8 weeks
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  #14  
February 25th, 2013, 09:12 AM
sweet.hun's Avatar We're Complete <3
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Dover, DE
Posts: 7,400
I know I don't come here much anymore but I'm so sorry Jen. I'll be praying for you that this is your year for a rainbow baby.
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Always missing my 3 angels. 2/9/06, 3/12/11, 5/22/12
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  #15  
February 25th, 2013, 10:50 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,744
Jen - I don't have the words to tell you how heartbroken I am for you. Sending you hugs. We love you! Take the time you need to heal. We're here for you!
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Jen
~ * ~ * ~ * Always believe that something good is going to happen * ~ * ~ * ~

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  #16  
February 25th, 2013, 11:38 AM
~~MeeMee~~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,666
I'm so sorry, you and your DH are in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________


BABY BOY due June 6

Me 40 DH 42 with an amazing 15yo DS
TTC #2 NTNP starting in 2009
actively TTC (BBT and OPKs) 2011
natural BFP Feb 2012, ending in mmc Apr with d&c in May
IVF Sep 2012, 4 eggs retrieved, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, but showed abnormal
growth, so not suitable for transfer
Nov 2012 IVF take 2 = 3 embryos, but due to concerns with lining unable to transfer
Jan 2013 endometrial biopsy = normal
Mar FET transferred 2 beautiful embryos, but unfortunately BFN
moving to donor eggs fall of 2013
Septemeber 30, 2013 - surprise BFP while waiting for DE
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  #17  
February 25th, 2013, 11:48 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northwest Indiana
Posts: 831
Oh NO I am SO, SO, SO VERY SORRy Wish I had the right words to make this better. Praying HARD for your comfort <3 ((HUGE HUGS))
__________________
Kristina (34) David (34)~Dealing with Severe MFI (Low T, Low TSH, Thyroid Cancer Survivor)
TTC#1 for 1 1/2 years~ DS, DJ (3) Conceived naturally using acupuncture and herbs
TTC #2 for 1 1/2 yrs~DH(3 mths on Clomid&Olive Leaf Extract)
Our 1st Clomid & TI cycle August 2013 -BFP on 9/08/13!!!!!!!!





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  #18  
February 25th, 2013, 11:52 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,364
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
I'm so sorry Jen... I just don't understand..... *sigh*

You know where to find me if you need me.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
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  #19  
February 25th, 2013, 11:53 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,751
Oh my gosh - this is not what I was expecting or wanting to log on and see. Best wishes for you and DH to recover yet again. I don't know why this keeps happening to you. I am so sorry jen.
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #20  
February 25th, 2013, 12:17 PM
onlybygrace's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,045
NO!!!! WHY?!!!

Life is SO unfair sometimes!

Sending thoughts and prayers your way Jen.
__________________
Not without the grace of heaven were you born and bred - Homer, The Odyssey

TTC our 1st since June 2011

6 cycles of Clomid, 2 cycles injectables, 5 IUIs: ALL BFNs

IVF #1: Starting 5th March 2013 - Praying for my 1st ever BFP!



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