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More from me... *miscarriage mentioned*


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:31 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Thank you so much to everyone for all the nice things you said. And thank you to all of you for the way you have supported me when I needed it. It really means so much to me.
I'm sorry I didn't write more yesterday. I needed some time. I'm also so sorry that I forgot to label it with miscarriage mentioned, I hope no one was upset by that!

Luckily, this was my ex's weekend with the kids, so I needed to try to stay together while we drove them down, too.
I've had more time, and have gotten to cry alot, and some good talking with Tom and I'm feeling a bit better.

Basically they did the scan and they said the baby hadn't grown past 7 weeks, and that there was no cardiac activity. Baby must have passed very shortly after my last scan. They are sure, and without any growth at all, I feel confident that they didn't make a mistake. Really, they have been negative about how things looked from the first scan at 6 weeks, so I should have expected it.

Since it's been about two weeks, and I haven't even had a spot, and my hormones are still high, he felt that the wait for my body to pass things naturally could be long, and he said that that could be bad for me too. He was certainly open to not doing the d&c and waiting if I wanted to, but Ijust want this over with. My body isn't normal when it comes to expelling anything in there anyway, so I might as well have the surgery and move on.
I just feel like jeez, as if this isn't bad enough, they have to do surgery?? I wish I didn't, but I just want it over.

As far as our TTC journey. Well really, the only good news to come out of this is we know we can get pregnant. In four years, this was our first positive test. We aren't giving up. We still want our together baby. It might be the wrong time to be thinking of it, but what's getting me through things right now, is knowing it's possible, and that we can try again. The dr was pretty sure it wasn't our problem, or anything we did, so he said we can try again. As long as everything is ok on Tuesday, he said he will help us do more clomid cycles in just 6 weeks. It's going to feel like a long time, but it's really not. Ironically, 6 weeks from then will fall almost exactly on our fourth year anniversary of TTC.

So I am back with you ladies here. At least I always have my sisters here. It seems we understand our hard times and losses better than most women. You ALWAYS make me feel cared about and supported. And you have the best advice. Thank you again ladies for everything you do and say to me.
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #2  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:58 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Location: right of center
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So great to hear from you...glad you have had some time to process things this weekend. I'll keep sending you virtual hugs and hoping that everything goes smoothly with the surgery

You are right to be optimistic...my RE said that he doesn't worry about women who have gotten a BFP, because he knows he can help them take home a baby 95% of the time. I'm glad that you'll be able to move forward as soon as you are ready and hope that you'll be seeing 2 pink likes asap
smsturner and *Leah* like this.
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  #3  
March 23rd, 2013, 07:31 PM
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Glad that you have had some more time to process and everything and have a good cry. Hoping and praying that everything goes smoothly. I am glad that you have a great doctor who is super supportive of you. Big hug for you!!!
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  #4  
March 23rd, 2013, 07:34 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Quote:
Originally Posted by cutenurse24 View Post
Glad that you have had some more time to process and everything and have a good cry. Hoping and praying that everything goes smoothly. I am glad that you have a great doctor who is super supportive of you. Big hug for you!!!

Yeah, this is the head of the OB practice that was seeing me. He really is amazing, and he will keep me as a patient now. I'm very happy with him. Tom liked him too.
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #5  
March 23rd, 2013, 07:36 PM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,762
Hi Susan. I am glad you are feeling a little better today. I have never had a mc before so I can't imagine how you must feel. I do however know the heartache of wanting to expand your family and have more babies and it being very difficult.

I am sure Tuesday will go smoothly and those 6 weeks will go fast. You have us to pass the time away.

What is this, "glad to be back here" stuff? You never left and I am glad you didn't. We need you here! Regardless of prego, NT, TTCMA, TTCAL any of it - this is where you belong.

I hope your heart heals fast...
cutenurse24, *Leah* and *Whiskey* like this.
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #6  
March 23rd, 2013, 07:37 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I am so glad that you are going to continue ttc. I am glad that you were able to get pregnant and I hope with the dr's help you will be seeing 2 pink lines soon
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  #7  
March 23rd, 2013, 08:05 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,683
I am in that wait with you for sure so I understand how incredibly long these weeks seem already. We aren't cleared to have sex at all until I'm 6 weeks postpartum and I'm not even at 3 weeks yet and wondering if we could just TTC right now. I don't think my stitches are even healed, but emotionally I can't imagine not trying right now. So I get that the 6 weeks feel like 6 months when you just want to start again
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  #8  
March 23rd, 2013, 08:05 PM
Raunchero's Avatar Happy as a Clam :)
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,408
Susan, I am so happy you are feeling a enter. I think your positivity and optimism is the best medicine when having to go through a rough patch in the road we know as our lifes. Please take care of yourself. And know we are always here! :::hugs:::
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  #9  
March 23rd, 2013, 08:10 PM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,221
So happy to hear from you. I can't even begin to imagine what the last couple days have been for you. I am so happy to see you have a positive outlook and that you are looking forward to ttc . Hugs!!
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  #10  
March 23rd, 2013, 08:38 PM
zonee@gmail.com's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 216
i am sorry for your loss but glad you found the silver lining in all this. I wish you success and stay strong, you two will be brining a bouncy bundle home.
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  #11  
March 24th, 2013, 12:07 AM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,047
I am so glad you re doing at least a little better
I completely relate. I was heartbroken with the last loss but I also thought about how at least it happened and that gives me great hope it can again For both of us.
I kinda wanna say that when someone m/c but it doesn't seem appropriate :/

We are here to help you pass the time!
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  #12  
March 24th, 2013, 08:35 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,271
With my 16w loss I felt the exact same way, I just wanted it over and have the D&C as soon as I could. Some women may feel differently but once it was over I was able to start my journey to recover, more so emotionally than anything. To me, waiting and wondering if it was every going to happen on its own would just tear me apart because it would be all that I would think about. I hate that you have to go through this but Im so happy to see that glimmer of hope and your excitement to try again. You will get through this and I know you will get your rainbow baby in the end!
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  #13  
March 24th, 2013, 09:16 AM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,762
*hugs*
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2006-2014 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2016






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  #14  
March 24th, 2013, 09:24 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
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hey girl. first off - I am very sorry you're having to go through this - I would NEVER wish it on anyone. But like you said - you know you CAN get pregnant. Try to be positive and work with your doc and listen/trust your body. Don't rush into anything and do what you need to do to keep positive. I know that may not be possible right now...but whatever you need to do for yourself, do it.
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IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


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  #15  
March 24th, 2013, 01:06 PM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Blessed
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Location: Texas
Posts: 1,744
I'm glad that you have taken time to process and are looking forward to the future.

I like this new OB you're seeing, I like his attitude a heckuva lot more than the last guy.
smsturner and zonee@gmail.com like this.
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~ * ~ * ~ * Always believe that something good is going to happen * ~ * ~ * ~

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  #16  
March 25th, 2013, 02:06 AM
Gamer_Princess's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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  #17  
March 25th, 2013, 07:37 AM
onlybygrace's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Susan, I just wanted to say agin how sorry I am.
Your positive attitude is so inspiring.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

<3
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  #18  
March 25th, 2013, 02:05 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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I am so sorry Susan ((((HUGS))) I wish I could do something to make it better, just know you're not alone and if you ever need anything - even someone to rant to - i'm only a PM away.
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  #19  
March 25th, 2013, 02:49 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Thank you again ladies. You guys are such a fantastic group.

I'm doing better mentally, but my d&c is at noon tomorrow. I'm just not sure how I will react. At least it will really be over. Honestly, this whole pregnancy just feels like a dream right now that I have to wake up from
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I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #20  
March 26th, 2013, 12:21 AM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,047
I will be praying for you tomorrow and thinking about you hun :console
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