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BFF: Does Jason (DH) have any miles you could use to go to Orlando with me next week? Tues night - Thursday? John is going for work and me and you can go and hang out and enjoy the 3 big pools. Just need the ticket to fly. It will be 87 and sunny.
Me: I would love to and DH probably does have enough miles for me to go but I am having embryos transferred into my uterus next week.
BFF: Darn !!!
Okay so I get BFF doesn't understand any of this TTCMA stuff and has been pretty distant for 6 months because of it. However, I just asked her Friday for prayers because this was all going down now and needed her prayers. My BFF has 3 kids and got pregnant with all three of them within one or two months of going off the off the pill. So I get that she doesn't understand any of this but nor does she even try. Not even a "good luck" She thinks I am nuts at 43 doing this. She is my age and her youngest is 4 so it's not like we are in different worlds or something. This is the same friend that tells me I am making a mistake because there wont be another kid as good as my DS is and has been to date.
Thank you guys my TTCMA ladies for being there for me when some of the people I love the most can't be. They just don't have the equipped and it's no fault of their own.
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
While you say it's no fault of their own, I still think she should have the common understanding of a "good luck" or "I'll be thinking of you"! But to just say DARN???!!! I mean, even if she doesn't understand why you are doing it, she could be supportive and acknowledge that this is a BIG thing that is happening in your life right now!
You are taking it WAYYYY better than I would. But I'm glad you are getting it out and not letting it bother you. You don't need negativity around you right now. ((HUGS)).
I for one am SOOOO excited for your transfer next week! come on PUPO!!
What a crappy friend you are for not hanging out with her! Sheesh Gretchen!!
One of my friends is toying with the idea of a tubal and is worried about feeling "less of a woman" because she won't be able to have kids and that I "should be able to relate if anyone can" This was today, me PMSing an all!
And you can relate to being less of a woman? Wow. That's just assinine.
I can't believe people, and I will NEVER understand them. How awful for her not to be remembering you and wishing you luck instead of offering you a trip to her party!!
And I don't even have words for that woman who says you can relate to being less of a woman. She CHOOSES for this operation. Doesn't she understand any of the things you've felt?? And I hope that you know that of course, you are a perfectly wonderful, beautiful whole woman!!
__________________ Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (15), ds Marcus (13), Our together miracle, baby Dean, 15 months
TTC with PCOS for 5 very long years. Annovulatory cycles. Multiple doctors. Different meds. One horrible loss. And then one wonderful success, born 2/18/14.
I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26/13
Sorry she is not being supportive at all right now. People get wrapped up in what's going on in their own lives sometimes and seem to forget what's going on with others. I know it's super disappointing but you seem to be taking it all pretty well
All she said was darn? I would have been hurt by that. At least follow it up with a good luck, I will be thinking about you! But like Leah said, you don't need the negativity or stress about how friends react. Focus on your lining and having a great transfer!!
I wish that people understood the emotional toll this takes on a couple, especially the woman in the couple going through IF. I'm sorry that your BFF didn't say anything supportive.
We all need to stay away from the negativity and remember our goal of having a child! Keep on keeping on!!!
Gretchen, I completely understand. The amount of heartache that comes with it is horrible. I know that you really want your buff there for you like you would be for her. As hard as it is, try to keep only the good thoughts.' I realize that my bff is *special* which means I get extra blessings for loving the difficult ones and this comes in perfect time as my embies will be coming soon!'
Wow!!! I can't believe that all she could say is darn to you. I'm sorry that she wasn't more supportive or sending well wishes your way. But that is why you have us Sending lots of hugs, positive thoughts, and positive vibes your way!!!
I am sorry, that is pretty crappy. I hope all goes fabulous with your transfer and you get a bfp! I can get that "fertile" people aka people who do not need help getting pregnant may not fully understand but then they should ask you if you want to talk about it or do some research so they can have some understanding so they can be there for you and be a good support system : (
Sending prayers and nothing but happy thoughts your way!