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Its all over for me ;( **m/c mentioned**


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
April 18th, 2013, 05:49 AM
onlybygrace's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,045
I had my beta yesterday and it was a shocking 17!

I knew my tests were pretty light for 13 DPO, but I was NOT expecting that

I came home and tried to make myself think positive thoughts, that all it needed was to double, but a few hours later, the bleeding started…(dark red), and I knew AF had arrived.

I have to do a repeat beta tomorrow to confirm I'm not pregnant, but its just a formality. AF is here in full force.

I’m so disappointed, but I’m taking it better than I thought I would.

But above anything else, I’m just so grateful that I know that IVF can work for us. After 2 years of trying, I imagined every possible thing wrong with me and my inability to get pregnant.
I just assumed all the tests never found out what.

But the fact that we can get pregnant, makes me feel so much hope. DH’s sperm and my eggs are compatible! Sure they need an extra helping hand, but they can fertilize, they can create embryos, and those embryos have the potential to implant! That’s half the battle won!

I am SO sad about losing this pregnancy. Even though it only lasted 2 days, it was the happiest 2 days of my life! I went around with this smile glued to my face. In those 2 days I think I dreamed a lifetime worth of dreams that I never allowed myself to dream in the whole 2 years TTC. (stuff about baby showers, pregnancy announcements, take home outfits and baby names)


I am so sad I don’t get to follow through on that now, but I am keeping the faith that I will someday soon.


We plan on taking 2-3 months off TCC (to recover physically and emotionally). We’re throwing in a fabulous holiday in those 3 months, and when we come back, we’re going to give IVF another try.


I am so happy for our ladies who recently got their BFPs, (and those soon to get theirs)…I’m going to be cheering you all on!


<3
__________________
Not without the grace of heaven were you born and bred - Homer, The Odyssey

TTC our 1st since June 2011

6 cycles of Clomid, 2 cycles injectables, 5 IUIs: ALL BFNs

IVF #1: Starting 5th March 2013 - Praying for my 1st ever BFP!



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  #2  
April 18th, 2013, 06:55 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
I am so sorry huge hugs for you today ((((HUGS))))
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  #3  
April 18th, 2013, 06:56 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Oh no no no NO!! I'm so sorry for you!! I have been hoping for that bfp for you for so long. And it was over so fast. I'm just so sorry honey

You have such an amazing outlook. Please pamper yourself for the next few months. And I hope you still might stop by to check on us.
__________________
Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #4  
April 18th, 2013, 07:03 AM
Jennyt13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,584
Oh honey - I'm so so very sorry. You have alot of postive thoughts right now - grieve, enjoy your time, and I look forward to seeing much success in your future.

Again - I'm so so so sorry for your loss.
__________________
Jenny - 37

Michael Joseph Born 1/14/11 at 2:46pm
Baby Christian - born into heaven at 22 weeks gestation - 7/14/12

Starting IVF/PGD - September 2012
47 eggs retrieved (OUCH!)
38 eggs mature
26 eggs fertilized
10 embryos biopsied
3 embryos - 2 boys, 1 girl are waiting to be transferred - transferring 1 boy 1 girl on first FET!!!

2/12/13 - FET - Cancelled due to fluid in the uterus
2/20/13 - Hysteroscopy scheduled - 1 polyp removed.

4/10/13 - FET - 2 embies transferred as planned! 1 boy 1 girl!
4/22/13 - Trying to wait to test - Beta scheduled!! -
7/31/13 - FET - 1 embie transferred - 1 boy
8/7/13 - 7dp5dt - - but very light
8/9/13 - 9dp5dt - - no mistaking this one!
8/12/13 - 1st Beta scheduled - 64
8/14/13 - 2nd Beta scheduled - only 10
03/03/14 - FET #3 - 1 embie transferred - 1 girl
3/11/14 - FAINT BFP
3/13/14 - HCG only 20.2
3/17/14 - HCG rose to 151!!!
3/20/14 - HCG rose again - 630! Nurse was in shock!
3/27/14 - Ultrasound scheduled - HB Found! 6w1d 124bpm
4/3/14 - Second Ultrasound - Still doing well!
4/14/14 - First OB appointment - looking good!
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  #5  
April 18th, 2013, 07:05 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
You are absolutely amazing!!!! *hugs* I am so sorry for your loss. You'll be in my prayers.
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hope anchors the soul
your body hears everything your mind says ... stay positive
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  #6  
April 18th, 2013, 07:14 AM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,435
I'm so so very sorry sweetie..this is not the post I expected to see today....I know you are deeply hurting...but you have the best attitude one could expect and I'm so glad that you can see through all that pain to know that it will and can happen...

Take the time you need. We are here for you when you come back.

((HUGS))
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  #7  
April 18th, 2013, 07:57 AM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,754
I'm so sorry Grace. I hope this time off is good for you and when you come back to the TTCMA rollercoaster, you get your sticky BFP.
__________________

My Blog
2006-2013 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2014






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  #8  
April 18th, 2013, 08:27 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northwest Indiana
Posts: 831
I am SO SORRY sweetie! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers ♥
__________________
Kristina (34) David (34)~Dealing with Severe MFI (Low T, Low TSH, Thyroid Cancer Survivor)
TTC#1 for 1 1/2 years~ DS, DJ (3) Conceived naturally using acupuncture and herbs
TTC #2 for 1 1/2 yrs~DH(3 mths on Clomid&Olive Leaf Extract)
Our 1st Clomid & TI cycle August 2013 -BFP on 9/08/13!!!!!!!!





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  #9  
April 18th, 2013, 08:34 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,740
I'm so sorry Grace I wish I had words
__________________
Jen
~ * ~ * ~ * Always believe that something good is going to happen * ~ * ~ * ~

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  #10  
April 18th, 2013, 08:36 AM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,046
I can;t tell you how sorry I am you are going though this.... so so so very sorry
I wish it were different.
I am thinking of you!
__________________
Lucy
Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
My blog


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  #11  
April 18th, 2013, 09:20 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,751
Grace - What? I am so sorry! Did they say your beta was to low or you just assuming? I hope you are wrong.

You are so sweet and I love that you said it was the happiest two days ever. I know you feel. I am happy that you guys have the opportunity to do IVF again.

ugh.... gosh I wish I could fix this for you?
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #12  
April 18th, 2013, 10:31 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,271
I am in such shock reading this, my heart is in tears for you. I love how positive you are though. The hurt and the what should have been can haunt you for a long time but the positive attitude helps you pick yourself up and try again! I hope you have an amazing trip and it relaxes you and you are ready for your next ivf when you are ready!!
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16 weeks
4 weeks
8 weeks
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  #13  
April 18th, 2013, 11:16 AM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,221
so sorry to hear this. Wishing you the best and I hope you have an amazing trip.
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  #14  
April 18th, 2013, 02:50 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 5,592
I am so so sorry to hear this. I am hoping that you have an amazing trip and that helps relax you for when you do decide to do another IVF. You attitude is amazing and we are all here for you!!!
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  #15  
April 18th, 2013, 03:40 PM
zonee@gmail.com's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 216
I am soo sorry!!
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  #16  
April 18th, 2013, 06:21 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,544
I am soo sorry
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My Ovulation Chart
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  #17  
April 18th, 2013, 06:35 PM
Raunchero's Avatar Happy as a Clam :)
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,266
Grace I'm so sad for you. I know your pain. The first ever BFP is the best feeling and it is completely normal to have had that little ones life all planned out. I know I did. Take the time to heal and keep your amazing positive attitude. I will keep you in my prayers
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Rochelle











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  #18  
April 19th, 2013, 06:43 AM
onlybygrace's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,045
So my beta today was 4 and I'm officially not pregnant anymore.

The finality of it was really difficult to grasp.
But I'm looking forward.

Thank you all for all the kind words, T&Ps. They mean alot.
__________________
Not without the grace of heaven were you born and bred - Homer, The Odyssey

TTC our 1st since June 2011

6 cycles of Clomid, 2 cycles injectables, 5 IUIs: ALL BFNs

IVF #1: Starting 5th March 2013 - Praying for my 1st ever BFP!



Reply With Quote
  #19  
April 19th, 2013, 06:46 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,751
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #20  
November 10th, 2013, 12:05 AM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,046
Does anyone know whatever happened to her?
__________________
Lucy
Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
My blog


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