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So mad at DH


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  • 1 Post By *JenJen*
  • 1 Post By zonee@gmail.com
  • 5 Post By *Whiskey*
  • 1 Post By kayakr
  • 1 Post By kayakr
  • 1 Post By melissaleigh

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  #1  
April 23rd, 2013, 04:53 PM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,221
Just a quick little history - We are doing IVF because I had my tubes tied after DD with my previous husband. My current DH has no bio children so we decided to do IVF. With our first cycle I got OHSS and the cycle was canceled - 2nd cycle was BFN and our 3rd cycle resuled in BFP but I just had major surgery to remove a ruptured ectopic pregnancy a week ago. Recovery hasn't been too bad but my DD did get a stomach flu the day after I came home from the hospital and now has strep thoat. So while recovery hasn't been miserable it also hasn't been ideal as I've been having to take care of a sick 4 year almost the whole time. I went today for my one week post op check up and my doctor said everthing looked good but was a little concerned about my blood count as I've been having a lot of headaches and dizzy spells so he ordered some extra blood work.

Now on to my anger with DH - on the way home from the doctor we were discussing all we had been through and what the next steps would be I told him at this very moment the way I'm feeling if someone asked me if I were going to go through another cycle my answer would be no. I mean gosh I'm recovering from major surgery and need some time to process this. Tomorrow my answer might be different but basically I don't want to make any decisions right now. He had the nerve to say that's not fair to him. HUH??? Not fair to him?? Aside from giving me a shot in the bottom occassionally and dealing with a few mood swings exactly how has any of this process been fair? I'm the one having all the poking, prodding and surgery happening. Wrong thing to say at the wrong time DH - Not fair to him???? oh yeah he's getting the silent treatment for a while after that one.
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  #2  
April 23rd, 2013, 05:06 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,762
what a jerk. *hugs* I hope you are feeling better soon.
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2006-2014 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2016






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  #3  
April 23rd, 2013, 05:27 PM
zonee@gmail.com's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 216
oh no!! Worst thing to say especially since YOU had major surgery. Your body needs time to recover and decide how to proceed together.

Take time to heal and see how your docs want to proceed as well, they may have anew plan for you as well. Hope your recovery is fast <3
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  #4  
April 23rd, 2013, 05:40 PM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,744
Oh goodness! I can definitely see where you're coming from on this. You poor thing!

It sounds like he caught a case of Couchitis Noctem (aka night on the couch)

KMH, *Leah*, kayakr and 2 others like this.
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~ * ~ * ~ * Always believe that something good is going to happen * ~ * ~ * ~

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  #5  
April 23rd, 2013, 07:11 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,151
They never get it do they... Just R&R, worry about next steps another day. (Hugs)
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  #6  
April 23rd, 2013, 07:32 PM
Raunchero's Avatar Happy as a Clam :)
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,424
Take care of yourself Hunny. And take it day by day. You shouldn't have to make a decision like that yet anyways.
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  #7  
April 23rd, 2013, 07:38 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Ignore him. He should be pampering and worrying after your health like your dr. Jerkhead.

Big hugs. Take good care of yourself honey.
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I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #8  
April 23rd, 2013, 07:59 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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That was definitely insensitive of him. I am so sorry!!
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  #9  
April 23rd, 2013, 08:07 PM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,507
I'm sorry he's being a jackhole! ((hugs)) take time to heal ..... You can dumb it down later with him on why he was sooo wrong!!!
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  #10  
April 23rd, 2013, 08:15 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 890
I Am so sorry. I hope that he will apologize and get a better attitude :/
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your body hears everything your mind says ... stay positive
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  #11  
April 23rd, 2013, 08:50 PM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,777
Oh no he didn't!!!! I am sure he has the best intentions and loves you dearly he just made an oppsy! He didn't think before he said that and sometimes DH's do that. You get better and don't worry about next step till you are ready.
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #12  
April 23rd, 2013, 09:02 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,673
I agree just take all the time u need. He will come around
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  #13  
April 23rd, 2013, 09:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,568
I hope you and your DD both get to feeling better soon I am so sorry your DH upset you with his insensitive remark. Men just don't understand anything!!!!
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  #14  
April 23rd, 2013, 11:55 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,047
m/c is sooo hard in general and hard on a marriage. I am sorry you have to be going through this
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  #15  
April 24th, 2013, 09:40 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,777
Oh yeah - if you choke him and need bail money let us know. Whiskey started a bail money fund for us TTCMA'ers.
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #16  
April 24th, 2013, 10:44 AM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,221
Thanks everyone DH is still walking and is not in the hospital.....he is just prepping and trying to figure out how he is going to get through working 50 hours a week and trying to fit in 3 massages a day for me
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