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So my older brother and SIL have a 4 year old son already (whom I love like crazy) - and I won't get into details, as they are good parents...but they do have their hands full with my nephew as he is autistic...
Of course my parents know all we are going through, with trying to get pregnant - and I will say my brother is a great dad and works 2 jobs to support his family - but this new baby is an "accident" as they weren't planning for him/her and I honestly don't know if they can afford a second child...but that's neither here nor there (again, I won't put out my brother and SIL's details...).
I WANT to be happy for them - and I WANT to be excited that I'll be getting a new niece or nephew...although it doesn't really matter as I've only even met my nephew a handful of times (because they live in Florida and we are in Indiana) - but I can't tell ya'll how flipping hard it is!!!!! WHERE IS MINE?! WHY CAN'T I HAVE JUST ONE?! really - just one - ONE is all we want!
Why do they get an "oops" and WE STILL HAVE NOTHING?!!!!!!!
sorry, I just really needed to have a pity party...
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis
October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy
July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!
"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"
I'm sorry and won't go into family details either, but I know exactly how you feel. It took us over 4 years to conceive, and it was a rough and heartbreaking journey. We finally got our 1st BFP in April, but it ended up ectopic (with an emergency surgery and the loss of my tube too). We went straight to IVF and are expecting twins. There are so many medications, vitamins, suppliments, and medical help out there now....don't give up because it will happen. Good luck to you.
Jennifer 34 (tubal factor and lost my left tube from ectopic)
Andres 34 (perfect SA)
My Son 10
My Son 13
Husband no bio/children (but the best father ever to my two boys)
TTC for 4 years
IVF in June 2013 (BFP)
1st Beta (10dp5dt) #761
((HUGS))....been there...done that! I will NEVER understand it ... when we try so hard - and then every other week, I hear of an OOPS. HOW DO THEY DO THAT??? SERIOUSLY.
It's okay to be frustrated... you can't change what your heart wants... I'm sorry to share that hearing about "oopses" NEVER gets easy. I will always want another child. I don't understand why it is so easy for some and hard for others. I wish I could make some sense of it, but I know I never will.
Also been in a very similar situation. Sometimes the only thing that makes you feel ANY better even for just a minute is to cry it out and tell someone how u feel. Even then that's only temporary. The feeling doesnt ever go away till you really get that baby.
Totally get it, I have definitely been there! I wish I had the words to take away the pain or explain how unfair it is. Like we have talked about, one day we will be mommies and we will meet up and have a play date with our kids. You know I am here for you. Facebook me anytime you need anything! And again, we will definitely have to meet up sometime very soon! XOXO
I think your feelings are normal and reasonable. Difficult and painful, but completely understandable. I recently found out that my 20 y.o. niece, who *just* got married and has no job, is pregnant. I'm like, "you missed, God! You were supposed to be aiming for me and you missed by 2 states & 20 years!!"
I also have ugly thoughts when I go into my OB's office and see other moms that (I assume) are illegal immigrants, "welfare" moms, or whatever. Ugly thoughts, totally a result of my baggage, but there they are.
I think it's good for you to come here, and you should absolutely allow yourself to cry if that helps you. I'm sorry you're far from your niece & nephew. If you were closer you could be like a 2nd family to them.
Username is a combo of 2 strong real-life (and fertile) mamas!
I so know how u feel ... the 4 yrs we spent trying to conceive our DS and the 8 yrs we've spent TTC'ing #2 I am constantly surrounded by oopes, multiple pregnancies, abortion used for birth control, moms on welfare repeatedly getting pregnant ... there is nothing about this journey that is fair. Everything you're feeling is normal.
~~~ Candie ~~~
TTCMA Again (after a 4 year break of NTNP, 8 yrs total TTC'ing #2)
Cycle #1 - July/Aug 2013 - BFN
5mg Femara CD3 - 7, Trigger CD25, CD32 Prog. 26.1, 10/11 Day LP
Cycle #2 - Aug/Sep 2013 - a bust ... no "O" ... waiting for injectibles protocol
Me (38) Annovulatory, PCOS, IR and Type 2 Diabetes, DH (44), DS (8)
"Learning to have faith, think positively, believe in myself and trust in God."