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I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...

Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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  • 1 Post By *Leah*
  • 1 Post By Impatientlywaiting
  • 1 Post By Nicholle ttc
  • 3 Post By IndyMommyWannabe
  • 2 Post By smsturner

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July 26th, 2013, 09:15 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,741
but danmit, it is so hard!

So my older brother and SIL have a 4 year old son already (whom I love like crazy) - and I won't get into details, as they are good parents...but they do have their hands full with my nephew as he is autistic...

Of course my parents know all we are going through, with trying to get pregnant - and I will say my brother is a great dad and works 2 jobs to support his family - but this new baby is an "accident" as they weren't planning for him/her and I honestly don't know if they can afford a second child...but that's neither here nor there (again, I won't put out my brother and SIL's details...).

I WANT to be happy for them - and I WANT to be excited that I'll be getting a new niece or nephew...although it doesn't really matter as I've only even met my nephew a handful of times (because they live in Florida and we are in Indiana) - but I can't tell ya'll how flipping hard it is!!!!! WHERE IS MINE?! WHY CAN'T I HAVE JUST ONE?! really - just one - ONE is all we want!

Why do they get an "oops" and WE STILL HAVE NOTHING?!!!!!!!

sorry, I just really needed to have a pity party...
- -
TTC since March 2010 - 4 years... / Severe MFI / Endometriosis

TTC for too darn long...4 years...Started March 2010
February 2014 - IVF #3 - blighted ovum
Life sucks.

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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July 27th, 2013, 05:51 AM
jes81878's Avatar Jennifer
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Burlington, KY
Posts: 570
I'm sorry and won't go into family details either, but I know exactly how you feel. It took us over 4 years to conceive, and it was a rough and heartbreaking journey. We finally got our 1st BFP in April, but it ended up ectopic (with an emergency surgery and the loss of my tube too). We went straight to IVF and are expecting twins. There are so many medications, vitamins, suppliments, and medical help out there now....don't give up because it will happen. Good luck to you.
Jennifer 34 (tubal factor and lost my left tube from ectopic)
Andres 34 (perfect SA)
My Son 10
My Son 13
Husband no bio/children (but the best father ever to my two boys)
TTC for 4 years
IVF in June 2013 (BFP)
1st Beta (10dp5dt) #761

Boy/Girl Twins

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July 27th, 2013, 06:40 AM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,219
I'm so sorry . None of this ever seems fair.
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July 27th, 2013, 07:08 AM
MandyEllen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,429
I'm so sorry that you're having those feelings. Just remember that you're allowed to feel whatever you feel.
Mandy (34)
6/29/13 - transferred 2 embryos
7/10/13 - 14 dpo beta=300
7/12/13 - 16 dpo beta=825
7/19/13 - 23 dpo beta=18,870
7/26/13 - 30 dpo beta=72,091

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July 27th, 2013, 01:36 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 5,252

I can't imagine how hard that is on you
I am having a hard enough time with my sister pregnant but I have the boys.

I am so sorry. Life is so unfair sometimes and science sucks!
TTC#3 since Summer 2011
10 IUIs= one confirmed and lots of BFN
9/13/13 IVF#1 ( One 5AA blast)= BFN
11/18/13 FET (Two 5AA blasts)=
2/26/14 FET (Two 5BA blasts)= BFP!!!
Beta HCG 14 DPO: 181 / 17 DPO: 870 / 24 DPO: 16,051
3/24/14= We have a heartbeat and ONE sticky bean!
My blog

Check out Leah's cute newborn Hats and Baby Items!

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July 27th, 2013, 03:06 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,626
I'm so sorry! I have been in a similar situation and it is really hard.

Thank you so much Bokkechick for the perfect siggie!!!
12-10-10 2-6-12
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July 28th, 2013, 01:30 PM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way!
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,307
((HUGS))....been there...done that! I will NEVER understand it ... when we try so hard - and then every other week, I hear of an OOPS. HOW DO THEY DO THAT??? SERIOUSLY.

It's okay to be frustrated... you can't change what your heart wants... I'm sorry to share that hearing about "oopses" NEVER gets easy. I will always want another child. I don't understand why it is so easy for some and hard for others. I wish I could make some sense of it, but I know I never will.

We're here for you sweetie ((HUGS))
IndyMommyWannabe likes this.
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July 28th, 2013, 04:39 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 854
I am so very sorry ... *hugs*
hope anchors the soul
your body hears everything your mind says ... stay positive
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July 28th, 2013, 04:58 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 193
I know how you feel and its no fun. Its okay to stop the strong face for awhile and have the pity party. We can pity party with you.
After 2 and a half years expecting number 1!

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July 28th, 2013, 05:16 PM
Impatientlywaiting's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 275
Also been in a very similar situation. Sometimes the only thing that makes you feel ANY better even for just a minute is to cry it out and tell someone how u feel. Even then that's only temporary. The feeling doesnt ever go away till you really get that baby.
*Leah* likes this.
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July 29th, 2013, 03:20 AM
Gamer_Princess's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,034
I know the exact feeling girl Thinking of you
TTC since 2010


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July 29th, 2013, 11:16 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059
Totally get it, I have definitely been there! I wish I had the words to take away the pain or explain how unfair it is. Like we have talked about, one day we will be mommies and we will meet up and have a play date with our kids. You know I am here for you. Facebook me anytime you need anything! And again, we will definitely have to meet up sometime very soon! XOXO
IndyMommyWannabe likes this.
TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility

Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF

May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2

FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.

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July 29th, 2013, 11:32 AM
Eleanor-Abigail's Avatar Keep Calm and Baby Dance
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 378
I think your feelings are normal and reasonable. Difficult and painful, but completely understandable. I recently found out that my 20 y.o. niece, who *just* got married and has no job, is pregnant. I'm like, "you missed, God! You were supposed to be aiming for me and you missed by 2 states & 20 years!!"

I also have ugly thoughts when I go into my OB's office and see other moms that (I assume) are illegal immigrants, "welfare" moms, or whatever. Ugly thoughts, totally a result of my baggage, but there they are.

I think it's good for you to come here, and you should absolutely allow yourself to cry if that helps you. I'm sorry you're far from your niece & nephew. If you were closer you could be like a 2nd family to them.
Username is a combo of 2 strong real-life (and fertile) mamas!

2, 4, 6, 8...c'mon body, ovulate!

Nov '12
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July 31st, 2013, 05:26 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,741
you all are so awesome.
- -
TTC since March 2010 - 4 years... / Severe MFI / Endometriosis

TTC for too darn long...4 years...Started March 2010
February 2014 - IVF #3 - blighted ovum
Life sucks.

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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August 1st, 2013, 11:57 AM
EricsMom's Avatar SuperMommy!
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 575
I so know how u feel ... the 4 yrs we spent trying to conceive our DS and the 8 yrs we've spent TTC'ing #2 I am constantly surrounded by oopes, multiple pregnancies, abortion used for birth control, moms on welfare repeatedly getting pregnant ... there is nothing about this journey that is fair. Everything you're feeling is normal.

~~~ Candie ~~~

TTCMA Again (after a 4 year break of NTNP, 8 yrs total TTC'ing #2)
Cycle #1 - July/Aug 2013 - BFN
5mg Femara CD3 - 7, Trigger CD25, CD32 Prog. 26.1, 10/11 Day LP
Cycle #2 - Aug/Sep 2013 - a bust ... no "O" ... waiting for injectibles protocol

Me (38) Annovulatory, PCOS, IR and Type 2 Diabetes, DH (44), DS (8)

"Learning to have faith, think positively, believe in myself and trust in God."

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August 1st, 2013, 12:02 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
I'm sorry I missed this before.
Just wanted to send love and hugs honey. It's not fair at all. I'm so sorry.
*Leah* and IndyMommyWannabe like this.
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