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Repeat Colposcopy and TSH back. *update*


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
August 8th, 2014, 11:45 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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TSH is great at .79

Colp.. not so great.


1. Cervix 11:00 and 12:00, biopsy:
-- Mild and moderate dysplasia (CIN 1 and 2) and koilocytosis.
-- Negative for carcinoma.

2. Endocervix, curettage:
-- Negative for dysplasia or carcinoma.


I haven't spoken to my OB yet, I don't know exactly what she wants to do. She told me at the appointment that if it was mild, she'd leave it be, do the D&C and we'd start trying hard to get me pregnant. If it was in my cervical canal, regardless of the grade, I'd need the leep because it's hard to monitor in there.


If I do the leep, no ttc for minimum 3 months (healing time), and then they do not recommend we try until I've had a clear pap. Here's the kicker with this. In 3 months at the re-check, they could find new cells and I have to do it again, and start the wait time again. She doesn't want to do the Leep and the D&C together because we couldn't start trying before the adenomyosis could start coming back, which means I also have to deal with the nightmare AF's even longer.


My husband is not a well man. We estimate that he will have about 25 years left to be able to work as hard as he does unless it suddenly gets better (which is highly unlikely because no one can actually agree on what's wrong with him in the first place). He's almost 38 years old and he would still really like to be done trying/having kids by his 40th birthday. That is 2 years 3 months and 2 days from now.






I don't know what to do. Do I want cancer? Of course not. But is the 5% risk that CIN2 turns into cancer a big enough risk to possibly give up on having a child of my own? I really don't know. The baby side of my brain says, have the baby, nurse the baby, and cut out all the baby making bits if they show signs of getting worse because they are no longer needed.




I guess I'll know more when the nurse calls... but seriously... this isn't fair. I am running out of time and waiting minimum 3-6 months when I only have 27 and have been trying for 32.... it's really not appealing.





Nurse called. Ob's willing to wait and watch as long as I have paps (and colps if needed) done on a very regular basis (next one will be in December). If it gets worse she'll want to just go ahead and do the leep because there's a huge difference between the risks of CIN1 and 2 and CIN 3.

Now.. to get pregnant before Christmas
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Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - Testing Christmas Day

Last edited by plan4fate; August 8th, 2014 at 04:27 PM.
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  #2  
August 8th, 2014, 05:44 PM
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I hope that the number 40 isn't a black and white boundary. In the grand scheme of things, what's the big difference between 40 and 41? You know...? :\ I guess it seems kind of arbitrary. And I mean... you gotta do what's healthiest and right for you. Good luck!!
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  #3  
August 8th, 2014, 06:04 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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For us it's more the end number and hubby's health. I can't earn but a fraction of what he does, so we need him working as long as possible. His health is not good, and every year brings him more and more pain.. and we don't hold much hope that any doctor will ever be able to fix him (since no one has ever wanted to even try). in 25 years he will be 63, I will be 57. (and Reme will be 34.. now that's depressing...).

He's semi flexible.. but we know reality. Someone has to pay the bills, and two people might be able to live off 20k plus disability, but 3? 4? he's just not willing. And sometimes, when I'm feeling rational, I don't blame him.
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Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - Testing Christmas Day
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  #4  
August 8th, 2014, 06:52 PM
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Yeah. I get it, my DH is turning 38 and I'm going to be 33. If we manage to have kids, we'll be the old parents, and I've accepted that, I guess you have to know when to call it eventually, but I'm living in a state of denial that it would ever come to that. So yeah... I dunno... DH works his butt off because he has it in his mind that he's going to have kids who will need a college education paid for one of these days. Maybe he would feel differently if he'd had a child with his first wife and would call it off after this amount of trying.... but he's just like "our son this our son that when we have a son". But he's getting tired of this uphill battle too, and I know he won't go for IVF.... so I guess if everything else fails, that's where the boundary is.... *sigh*
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  #5  
August 8th, 2014, 07:01 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Good update!!!!


It's gonna happen soon! I can feel it!!!!
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  #6  
August 8th, 2014, 09:20 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boolajoojoo View Post
Yeah. I get it, my DH is turning 38 and I'm going to be 33. If we manage to have kids, we'll be the old parents, and I've accepted that, I guess you have to know when to call it eventually, but I'm living in a state of denial that it would ever come to that. So yeah... I dunno... DH works his butt off because he has it in his mind that he's going to have kids who will need a college education paid for one of these days. Maybe he would feel differently if he'd had a child with his first wife and would call it off after this amount of trying.... but he's just like "our son this our son that when we have a son". But he's getting tired of this uphill battle too, and I know he won't go for IVF.... so I guess if everything else fails, that's where the boundary is.... *sigh*
Mine agreed to IVF.. problem is we can't afford IVF lol. If we aren't pregnant by Christmas I'll up my efforts to find a job and we'll squirrel that away to pay for most of it. Mine would be fine with trying longer if he wasn't so unwell.

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Melissa* View Post
Good update!!!!


It's gonna happen soon! I can feel it!!!!


I keep hoping so!!!! I just ordered the 3rd and final supplement for him to take since he's had no issues with the first two... I don't expect a miracle cure by any means... but I can't help but visualize the meds making lots and lotsa swimmers!
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Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - Testing Christmas Day
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  #7  
August 8th, 2014, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post

I don't know what to do. Do I want cancer? Of course not. But is the 5% risk that CIN2 turns into cancer a big enough risk to possibly give up on having a child of my own?

Now.. to get pregnant before Christmas
I'm so sorry you are having such obstacles in your way.

And as far as the 5% being enough to call it quits... think of this we have roughly an 11% chance of getting pregnant each month, if everything is perfect, but do we give up? Nope, why? Because all the pain and crap we go through is worth it. You will have a baby. Be it genetic or not. But you will have your own. Just keep your head up.

And this is funny you said this about being pregnant by Christmas. I told my brother I wouldn't want to be in his wedding because my goal was to be pregnant by his wedding. His wedding is on Aug 16 and I will be almost in my 3rd trimester. It can happen.
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  #8  
August 9th, 2014, 01:59 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raunchero View Post
I'm so sorry you are having such obstacles in your way.

And as far as the 5% being enough to call it quits... think of this we have roughly an 11% chance of getting pregnant each month, if everything is perfect, but do we give up? Nope, why? Because all the pain and crap we go through is worth it. You will have a baby. Be it genetic or not. But you will have your own. Just keep your head up.

And this is funny you said this about being pregnant by Christmas. I told my brother I wouldn't want to be in his wedding because my goal was to be pregnant by his wedding. His wedding is on Aug 16 and I will be almost in my 3rd trimester. It can happen.
Amazing how things happen right?


I didn't think a 5% risk was enough, and hubby was willing to back me. He told me to find what ever doctor I needed to do what we needed OTHER than an RE (my insurance will stop all coverage if we visit an RE, so I need the procedures done prior).


He and I talked tonight and he said it's not a firm 40, it's just his desire to be done at that point. He's not going to run off and get a vasectomy, and he wants to go back to school at some point to be able to work that pays as well but isn't as physically demanding, which would let him work until retirement. "We'll play it by ear, or joints.. which ever speaks the loudest." I think that initially 40 was meant to make me stop at two babies since we weren't supposed to start TTC until last August, but we started 18m prior out of sheer laziness (I couldn't get the pill I needed, no condoms, and he didn't like pnp or charting), now 32 cycles we're still at it. He figured 2 babies in 4 years and he could put his foot down.


At this point, just one will make me happy. Or at least I say that now. I hear babies can be rather addicting.


So now every month I will make a trip down around O and we will give it our best shot. That's really all we can do. Our chances are a lot lower than 11%, but a girl can still hope right? He joked that our "natural" cycles were supposed to be cheap cycles, but between us we take almost $140 a month in vitamins and each trip will cost me $300. Oh the things we do to try and get pregnant!


Plus, at least around O I enjoy the fun stuff




Now I get to be nervous about the D&C (I haven't been put under in 21 years) and just hope they get it done asap... I haven't been able to take my baby aspirin all cycle because of the colp and pending D&C just as a precaution. Apparently my cervix is a bleeder
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - Testing Christmas Day
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  #9  
August 10th, 2014, 10:37 PM
mrs.ceebee.0915's Avatar waiting for a miracle...
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Hi Ashley! I was traveling when this thread was started, and while I didn't have good signal to reply on my cell phone all the time, I was following it all! I am glad you are able to move forward and I have my fx that one of those trips to visit DH during O time ends up being "the" time!!
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