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Saturday was hard for me...


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
November 12th, 2006, 04:35 PM
mrsracatoe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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because I went shopping with a friend of mine and all she wanted to do was talk about being pregnant and complain about what happens when she is pregnant and with all of that she kept saying "I hope its a girl". There was not 15 minutes that went by that she didn't talk about it. I thought that I was going to burst out crying most of the day. Is this how you all feel when this type of stuff happens? How do you deal with it?
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  #2  
November 12th, 2006, 09:32 PM
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I'm sorry hun. I wish I could say it'll get better, but in my case it hasn't. I'm now to the point that I try to avoid situations like that out of fear of that very thing happening. It's not that I avoid pg women persay, but I don't spend a lot of time with them because things are said without thought behind it, and it hurts. It's not that they're being mean intentially, but I'm sensitive about it.

I've found that being open and honest is the best thing when dealing with friends. I try to explain as best possible that it's something that I need to deal with and need to distance myself because it hurts too much. Yes, I'm happy for them, but I need to deal with my emotions and comments have been said that hurt. A true friend will understand and try their best. A fairweather friend just won't get it.

I don't know if I handle it the best way, but it's the only thing working right now and I've dealt with this for years now (with this year being the hardest).
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  #3  
November 13th, 2006, 01:03 AM
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I think that the reason that it was hard for me was the fact that she was the only friend that I had left that was NOT preggo and I could hang out and do things with her because it didn't hurt. Now she is preggo and she is actually doing what is right for her baby by quitting smoking and etc. I am so happy for her because this is something that she wanted but I keep asking "Why couldn't it be me?". She has made all of the best decisions that a pregnant woman can make. It makes me so happy to see that she is caring for her baby so well already.

All of my friends are doing what is right for the babies that they are carrying except for 1. The 1 is doing everything intentionally. She is drinking all the time, partying, going to bars and clubs, and still smoking. She has no intentions of quitting anything. She is due in January and doesn't care about what happens to her baby at all. That really hurts and I have made myself distant from her for this reason. I hope and pray everyday that her child is healthy. All I can do is hope that she becomes a better mother and pray for her to do so.

Thanks for letting me share my emotions!!!
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  #4  
November 13th, 2006, 12:48 PM
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Oh hun I'm sorry that was hard for you. I have that happen all the time with a friend that is pg. I just ignore her or change the subject.
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  #5  
November 13th, 2006, 02:48 PM
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(((HUGS)))

I know what you mean. I had to go through my best friend being pg after only being with
her db for 6wks!! All she talked about was being pg non stop.
She has the baby now. He is 4mths old and it is hard to see her with him.
She is even ttc again and no doubt will have 'news' before xmas. She is so lucky!

Also what is SUPER hard right now is my other friend has a 16 year old dd who is 5mths pg.
All she ever talks about is ttc and im thinking 'great! I am a woman of 25 and this should be me'

This is so hard but made a little easier by the way we are all here for eachother

I hope we all find happiness soon.

Sarah
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  #6  
November 13th, 2006, 05:47 PM
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Wow, all I can say is try and stay strong and know your time is coming. I try and avoid situations like that because I just get too emotional. For instance, I recently didn't attend a baby shower because it would be too painful for me so I just sent a gift.
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  #7  
November 13th, 2006, 07:32 PM
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(HUGS) I know how hard it is. Try to stay strong your time will come (HUGS)
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  #8  
November 13th, 2006, 09:46 PM
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Thanks for understanding ladies. They came over tonight for a visit and she was going through baby names and again all she wanted to talk about waas being preggo. I love her to death but I don't know how much more I can take. She has every right to be happy and I don't show her that it bothers me because I am really excited about this and being a part of their lives but after they leave it "eats at me" because it is not me. I know that its wrong for me to feel that way but I can't help it. I think that as we get further along in our adoption process it will become easier for me. I hope so at least.
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  #9  
November 14th, 2006, 05:33 PM
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Oh no! I am so sorry you had a bad Saturday. I am sending you lots of HUGS.
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  #10  
November 15th, 2006, 01:57 PM
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We are going out again this Saturday. I hope that everything goes better. If it doesn't I might just go crazy. I really don't want to say anything to her because she has every right to be happy and gloat. Its my problem that I am having to deal with, not hers. I guess thats the right way to look at it.
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  #11  
November 15th, 2006, 02:42 PM
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I hope Saturday goes okay for you. I am sure it won't be easy but just try to think positive thoughts and smile alot. Remember we are all here for you too.
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