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Ok, today was not such a good day. I think I just need to vent and then go to bed and have a good cry, so that's what I'm gonna do.
I was doing some research online today, getting ready for my REI appointment Monday, the one where I'll probably get the bad news I have a tubal blockage on one side. So with that info, and the fact I'm 37, have had one m/c and have spent 2 years TTC, I used the fertility calculator at www.infertilitycentral.com to calculate my odds of conceiving au natural.
The odds were terrible... worse than terrible... 1%. It goes up to a whole 3% in 3 years. I had no idea I was that badly off. It was such a shock, now I'm a complete mess. I know my chances increase with treatment but I don't know by how much. I know that calculator doesn't take everything into account, they were very general questions, but still... it seems like every web site I went to today mentioned knowing when to give up, and I wonder if this is a sign. I am so sad right now, it's like it's just hit me that this is real, I'm not just having trouble I'm infertile, I'll probably never have a baby and I don't see how I can possibly get through this. I know I'll feel better once Steve is home, but he's at the station tonight and I won't see him until tomorrow.
Anyway I'm so sorry to be such a downer, this is just a shock and I'm sure everything will work out, thanks so much for listening.
Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10
12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue
6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!