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Do these things ever go through your mind?


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
February 6th, 2007, 03:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
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I was just on my way to school tonight and I was slightly upset by AF's arrival. These are the things that usually go through my mind....

1) I'm not meant to be a Mom
2) I'm not meant to be with my hubbie and we are supposed to not have children together
3) God's punishment for something I did
4) All these kids running around having kids so easily and its hard for me to get pregnant
5) That we are not supposed to have them right now
6) Throwing in the towel seems easier than seeing another BFN.
7) If you hear one more time to "quit trying so much" you might throw your cell phone through a window?
8) That somehow your friends/family have this uncanny ability to be able to say nothing right after a BFN?

Im sorry guys - I just needed to vent to a group of girls that will understand. I know I have to stay positive but I think my hormones are a little off and I needed to just vent. I haven't been able to stop crying. UGH! I hate hormones... I really do.

Okay, I'm seriously done and I'm not trying to say this to bring anyone else down. I hope everyone is okay with me venting a little. I don't want to be seen as the "negative nancy" girl. LOL It just all got to be a little overwhelming for a moment.
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  #2  
February 6th, 2007, 04:27 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 8,635
Its okay to vent! We are all here for you, and at one time or another im sure we have all felt the way you are right now. I know ive probably had each of those thoughts and feelings many many times.

The only way i know how to get myself out of that funk is just to plan ahead and keep on having faith that maybe this month wasnt my month BUT one of these months is meant for me...i just have to keep on going until i get there.

I hope next month is a better one for you! Keep hanging in there!
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  #3  
February 6th, 2007, 04:58 PM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Twin Cities, MN
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I have thoughts like that all the time... especially the one about it being a punishment from God. I'm Jewish and DH is not, and my whole family was against our getting married... and the rest of my family has a billion kids each... so the thought always crosses my mind that maybe this is a punishment or something.

And you're right that sometimes people just can't say anything right. My parents have been trying and my mom has been as supportive as she can possibly be, but sometimes she'll make comments like "well, maybe it'll help to talk to the doctor about when she thinks enough is enough" or "if you miscarry, it's just that the embryo was genetically messed up and therefore shouldn't be born". While they might be true statements, they're just not helpful. Then of course, we have friends who ALL THE TIME are asking us when we plan to start having kids. They, of course, don't know what's going on right now, but it hurts all the same.

You're totally not alone.
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  #4  
February 6th, 2007, 05:14 PM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Mallorca (Spain)
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Quote:
1) I'm not meant to be a Mom
2) I'm not meant to be with my hubbie and we are supposed to not have children together
3) God's punishment for something I did
4) All these kids running around having kids so easily and its hard for me to get pregnant
5) That we are not supposed to have them right now
6) Throwing in the towel seems easier than seeing another BFN.
7) If you hear one more time to "quit trying so much" you might throw your cell phone through a window?
8) That somehow your friends/family have this uncanny ability to be able to say nothing right after a BFN?[/b]
I have my bad days,and all of those things go through my head too..especially the ones Iv highlighted.
TTC isnt easy,and there comes a time (after months of nothing) when its no longer fun or exiting either.
You will always find someone out there who has a magical idea on how to get pregnant in one cycle,and its usually something totally stupid like "If you have sex without it being TTC orientated,then you will get pregnant"..and you know what?,the next time I hear that or any other stupid "get pg quick" comment,I am going to throw my computer out of the window!
Its ok (even healthy) to vent..and beleive me,theres nothing you can write that someone isnt actually feeling or has felt
Some days I feel like I want to give up and get my life back..but then I have days where I dont want to give up because I feel like Iv come SO far!!
The truth is..we have to wait,and what ever happens,we just have to make it through each TTC day as best we can and not let it completly take over our lifes...
I hope you are feeling better tommorow!!!
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  #5  
February 6th, 2007, 06:01 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 213
I think those exact things just about every day. My favorite piece of advice from everyont is " it will happen when god thinks your ready". We are on cycle 16, 1st round of clomid I should find out tomorrow if it worked, but I have a feeling it didn't, so I know exactly how you feel. It is extremely hard to stay postive.
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  #6  
February 6th, 2007, 06:30 PM
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Roseburg OR
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I'm sure I think of one of those everyday. My personal favorite is give it time it will happen. REALLY!!! because I personally think that 31/2 years is enough time.

We are here to hear you vent do it anytime you need to.
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04/30/08been through all of our classes and home studies and waiting to look through the kid books for adoption !!!
starting IVF- decided against IVF
starting glucophage try I more IUI bfn
Starting adoption classes!! Finally getting the process started
IUI #3 BFN
1 laporoscopy, 1 mc, 6mo's of clomid, 3 mo's of injections and IUI's
countless blooddraws and ultrasounds. Hopefully a BFP soon!!
Kelly 29 and JD 29 adopting #1 (or maybe two)
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  #7  
February 6th, 2007, 08:54 PM
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Vent away, that's what we're here for and we all have our bad days. I was a little down today too, it happens.

You know in your heart that what you're saying to yourself in that post is not true and you'll remember that again once you've gotten out of this funk you're in.

Truth of the matter is, it takes a very strong woman to go through TTC w/medical assistance... we have tons of proof of that right here on this board, including yourself. When you're having a tough time of it, just remind yourself of that. And if that doesn't work, go with more venting... it helps too.
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  #8  
February 7th, 2007, 06:32 AM
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You guys rock - thank you so much for the kind words. I don't know what I would do without you guys. Thanks again for your support.
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  #9  
February 7th, 2007, 02:39 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
Oh yes, i know where you are coming from!

I often think all those thoughts. It is called ttc with med assistance

I have been ok lately, but i think that is cos our IVF is fast appraoching

I just pray it works. I don't know how i will cope if it dosen't

Sarah
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  #10  
February 7th, 2007, 02:44 PM
MummyTo2Plus5's Avatar Loving my baby boy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Huddersfield, UK
Posts: 37,260
Quote:
1) I'm not meant to be a Mom
2) I'm not meant to be with my hubbie and we are supposed to not have children together
3) God's punishment for something I did
4) All these kids running around having kids so easily and its hard for me to get pregnant
5) That we are not supposed to have them right now
6) Throwing in the towel seems easier than seeing another BFN.
7) If you hear one more time to "quit trying so much" you might throw your cell phone through a window?
8) That somehow your friends/family have this uncanny ability to be able to say nothing right after a BFN?[/b]
I couldn't have summed it up better myself escpecaily #1
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  #11  
February 7th, 2007, 05:53 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
I feel most of these things daily...I have to fight with myself to not be negative. I think I am just exhausted at the end of the day because of the stress of TTC and nothing to do with my actual job.

You are not a downer...you are speaking the words that many of us carry around. You are also putting into perspective the truth...I mean hearing them come from you I'm shouting "No. no, you will be a mom and God is NOT punishing you"...it's so easy for me to see the good in you...in all the girls here and I knwo in my heart youa re all deserving and will get a baby...so why we can't feel this way for ourselves I don't know. Thank you for reminding me that we are all human, we all have our negative thoughts, adn most of all that we have eachother.

HUGS to you! I hope this journey ends with a baby soon...for us all.
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