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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
February 15th, 2007, 11:02 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, AF showed this morning on time... down the the very same day and hour infact. SO.... I guess it's good that on Clomid i am becoming regular... AND I didn't have to see that BFN.
I'm so sad though. I am really scared to try again. I know that after 3 months of unsuccesful rounds of clomid, the odds get worst and worst and I will have to start looking into other reasons I may not be getting pregnant....
*sigh* I don't want to be angry for too long, but it just gets harder and harder every time. It's also becoming a struggle to trust in God. But i know i have to do it... I don't know if anyone else is a believer here, but I am a strong believer in Jesus Christ and the Bible. There are so many verses that say that I need to just trust in the Lord and in his timing he will answer the desires of our hearts. It's so scary to do that though.
Well anyways, that is my bad news for the day. Doctor will call me later to talk about my cycle and my plans for this next round.
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  #2  
February 15th, 2007, 11:30 AM
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Quote:
Well, AF showed this morning on time... down the the very same day and hour infact. SO.... I guess it's good that on Clomid i am becoming regular... AND I didn't have to see that BFN.
I'm so sad though. I am really scared to try again. I know that after 3 months of unsuccesful rounds of clomid, the odds get worst and worst and I will have to start looking into other reasons I may not be getting pregnant....
*sigh* I don't want to be angry for too long, but it just gets harder and harder every time. It's also becoming a struggle to trust in God. But i know i have to do it... I don't know if anyone else is a believer here, but I am a strong believer in Jesus Christ and the Bible. There are so many verses that say that I need to just trust in the Lord and in his timing he will answer the desires of our hearts. It's so scary to do that though.
Well anyways, that is my bad news for the day. Doctor will call me later to talk about my cycle and my plans for this next round.[/b]

I understand how you are felling. I do the same thing. I feel like my faith is weakened with each month that passes with no BFP. Now I also have a bunch of other issues that I have to deal with before I can even keep trying. I wish it was easier to just turn it over and have patience and understaning but for me it's really hard not to get discuraged and depressed as well.

I will prey for a BFP for us for soon
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  #3  
February 15th, 2007, 11:45 AM
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Oh I know how it feels when AF shows her face,believe me..I'm going through it right now myself..

It's super hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but just think of the benefit if all of this works for us!!
a Baby!!!

I have been on clomid for 4 cycles without IUI and one with IUI.. and now I have a stinking cyst..
so right now I'm not fan of Clomid!!

sorry bout AF.. she sucks
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  #4  
February 15th, 2007, 12:06 PM
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I'm so sorry hon - that AF got everyone this month. Ugh!! Your levels were so high too...ugh.

I'm not sure why 3 months is the max on Clomid? I heard it can take up to 5 months? What about uping the dose?

Your faith will keep you strong hon. I'm so sorry. I'll be sending out good vibes your way. Don't lose hope and just keep chugging along. Your silver lining right now is the fact that you are regular. That's what I had to do too. I had to just think, "Wow, at least I wasn't a 40+ cycle anymore...in the very least Clomid brought down to 30-32". It makes all the more possible to get pregnant next month.

How long does your doctor want you on Clomid before uping the dose or switching to something else?
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  #5  
February 15th, 2007, 12:08 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies
It IS sooo hard. I'm trying to cling to any hope out there... right now, my husband is doing a pretty good job of that though... he has been runing around the house all day doing pretty much anything to make me laugh.... lol, i hate to admit it, but it is working... atleast for now. He is a pretty good husband.
Ok... now he is on his knees making up some silly song while I try to type to you ladies.... oh my goodness.... lol. Ok well anyways, thanks for all the support
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  #6  
February 15th, 2007, 01:02 PM
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It doesn't get any easier hun. It is awesome that your hubby is working so hard at keeing your spirits up though - a good support system make sthe world of difference.

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  #7  
February 15th, 2007, 01:03 PM
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I am so sorry the witch showed. I can completely understand you feeling a bit depressed about it. That first AF day is always really really tough for me too.

It is hard to maintain hope, but at the same time it's so important to. Whether you draw on your religion for that strength or any other means of hope and faith, doesn't really matter - just as long as you have a source for it.

You are a strong person with strong beliefs and that will get you through this and it will definitely give you the strength to keep up the fight.
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  #8  
February 15th, 2007, 02:55 PM
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Melissa - I know how hard it is to keep having faith that this will work sometime when you keep getting AF/BFNs. Something that helps me is this statistic: in normal, healthy young couples, who have perfectly timed intercourse (right at ovulation time), only 20% become pregnant each cycle. This means that the most perfectly timed clomid cycle or IUI cycle, which are aimed to make us as close to normal and healthy as possible, still only give us a 20% chance per cycle. There's no reason to think that there's something else more seriously wrong just yet. Give it a few cycles and then see what happens. I know i know, easier said than done. I'm sorry AF showed though, but it's good your DH is being so great
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  #9  
February 15th, 2007, 03:25 PM
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atleast your getting regular hun!!! thats a blessing in itself..... and yes i am a believer to and i know its sooo easy to say this and its so hard to follow through.... but LEt Go & Let God handle it... . the mantra i use is when life gets to hard to stand, kneel and pray... I Pray that you'll get some good answers soon form your doc!
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  #10  
February 15th, 2007, 03:48 PM
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Sweetie, I am so sorry that the witch reared her ugly head. I wish it weren't so. I have to tell you that although we aren't big church goers, I am a strong believer in God & that he will provide in His time. We may not understand why but we have to believe He knows what he is doing.

On another note, I have to tell you that I had 4 rounds of Clomid w/ no success. I suspected that my lining was being thinned w/ each cycle & I believe I was right. I had a follicle scan on CD 14 (last round of Clomid in Nov) & my lining was really thin, so thin that they didn't give me the HCG shot to trigger O b/c they didn't believe that it would be worth it. Soon after, I had the glucose/insulin test & come to find out, I am insulin resistant which explains SO MUCH about what I have been through in life. I guess what I am saying is that maybe the Clomid isn't working b/c there is an underlying problem that isn't such a big deal BUT needs to be fixed in order to get pg.

Believe & trust that the challenges God has given you are only going to make you stronger otherwise he wouldn't be putting you to the test.
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  #11  
February 15th, 2007, 04:50 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Sweetie, I am so sorry that the witch reared her ugly head. I wish it weren't so. I have to tell you that although we aren't big church goers, I am a strong believer in God & that he will provide in His time. We may not understand why but we have to believe He knows what he is doing.

On another note, I have to tell you that I had 4 rounds of Clomid w/ no success. I suspected that my lining was being thinned w/ each cycle & I believe I was right. I had a follicle scan on CD 14 (last round of Clomid in Nov) & my lining was really thin, so thin that they didn't give me the HCG shot to trigger O b/c they didn't believe that it would be worth it. Soon after, I had the glucose/insulin test & come to find out, I am insulin resistant which explains SO MUCH about what I have been through in life. I guess what I am saying is that maybe the Clomid isn't working b/c there is an underlying problem that isn't such a big deal BUT needs to be fixed in order to get pg.

Believe & trust that the challenges God has given you are only going to make you stronger otherwise he wouldn't be putting you to the test.[/b]
Astrid- I'm pretty positve that they tested my glucose/insulin before he put me on Clomid, along with my FSH and he said that all came back normal. So... i dunno. I'm just hanging on to hope that it will just take a couple times to get that BFP.

Eva- Thank you so much for reminding me of that statistic.... It does help encourage me!!! Ugggg I feel like such a roller coaster though, one minute feeling so full of hope, the next I'm so scared and worried that I will ever get pregnant.

The doctor called today- it was very awkward, he just told me that we should keep trying with the clomid for 3-6 months... So... i guess thats just the game plan for now. It will be a strange cycle this time.... I pick up, and start my clomid on saturday (day 3), then I will go get my progesterone tested on cd 21 which will end up being March 7th. The very next day, dh and I are flying out to Orlando florida for an 11 day vacation.... SO... Hopefully I will be bringing back a little souvenire
Atleast I will be busy in my 2 ww!!!!!
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  #12  
February 15th, 2007, 05:32 PM
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Sorry to hear af showed. Did your dr. up your dosage of clomid for this cycle. My dosage was changed to 100 mg.
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  #13  
February 15th, 2007, 05:35 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No, he isn't going to up my doseage because the last two cycles on clomid 50 mg, I have ovulated. Maybe not the first round which was 10.6 on cd21 (3dpo) but im sure i did this round, 17.4 on cd21 (3dpo) So, i don't really see a point in uping the dose if we already know im ovulating... i guess it's just a matter of time.
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  #14  
February 15th, 2007, 05:45 PM
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On the 50 mg I had 2 good follicles. She changed my dosage to see if that will give me a few more follicles to work with. I know it's hard to stay positive and hang in there, I was completely devistated last wed when we found out that our first round didn't work. My dh firmly believes that it'll happen when it's meant to, you just have to keep faith.
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  #15  
February 15th, 2007, 07:15 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
On the 50 mg I had 2 good follicles. She changed my dosage to see if that will give me a few more follicles to work with. I know it's hard to stay positive and hang in there, I was completely devistated last wed when we found out that our first round didn't work. My dh firmly believes that it'll happen when it's meant to, you just have to keep faith.[/b]
Thanks for the positive support You ladies are the best!!!
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  #16  
February 15th, 2007, 10:19 PM
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Melissa- i am so sorry to hear AF showed. You know I'm a believer too and right now my faith is wavering so much, I don't knwo what to do. i read the bible evry night, pray all the time, listen to christian music in the car , go to church every Sunday yet and still I get so angry at God...I don't know how not to? I told DH today, "what am I suppose to do pretned? He knows my every thought...He knows my heart" I don't know how NOT to blame Him. I find myself screaming at Him inside and then apologizing like 10 min later and the cycle goes on and on...people keep reminding me He loves me, even though we don't realize it...so I'm reminding you. He promised us right? He promised us if we trust, believe, and give it to Him he will provide. I think the fact that we're trying so hard in and of iteself is a testimony of how much we want this relationship with Him...hang in there honey. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Something I have noticed in my life lately is a lot of people kinda coming out of nowhere to support me, so it reminds me that God works through relationships with others...I think He is doing that for us all right here on these boards!!!
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  #17  
February 16th, 2007, 07:25 AM
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aw melissa I'm so sorry to hear AF showed, that is so hard. I was really hoping this would be it for you. I know its hard but keep truckn' we will all be here to help you through it.
I think times like these makes everyperson question their beliefs, whatever they are. Just remember everyday we get stronger from what we have been going through. Its a tough lesson but think of how much more we will love and cherish our babies when they come. I personally don't think I have ever tried for anything so hard in my life, and honestley I don't know if I would have been able to do this if it wasn't for me thinking I'm doing it for my DH too and our future.
If going through this is a life test then I think we all passed!!!
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Starting adoption classes!! Finally getting the process started
IUI #3 BFN
1 laporoscopy, 1 mc, 6mo's of clomid, 3 mo's of injections and IUI's
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  #18  
February 16th, 2007, 07:55 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I understand that cycle of being angry at God. It's been hard for me too. But he doesn't want you to pretend, he just wants us to trust and believe ( which is SO HARD )... What I find helps is praying for peace... I'm sad im not pregnant this time around, but i have peace in knowing it will happen. And I know that God is right next to me, crying when I'm crying, laughing when I'm laughing... I am thankful that the medication is helping me ovulate, and i pray it's not doing any other damage that we don't know about.
I have faith it will happen for us, and while I'm waiting for God to work his miracle I'm just gonna keep trying. I leave for my bible study really shortly so I'm hoping to gain some more strength for the week to come from that.... i NEED IT!
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  #19  
February 16th, 2007, 09:18 AM
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Wow, it is scary how much you sound exactly like me. I am also a believer, but I am having a really hard time fighting some depression and anger right now too. I wish I could encourage you in some way, but today just isn't my day either so I'm not the right person to encourage. I am pretty sure that I am not pregnant this cycle either. I took a test today 12 dpo and it was negative. I know that could be too early, but I feel in my heart that it wasn't too early and that I'm not pregnant. Anyway, this was my second round of clomid also so I am scared too. I know that the next cycle is my last on clomid before we start looking into other things that could be wrong, which we really can't afford to do. I just never would have thought that at the age of 24, I would have had a miscarriage and would be on month 16 trying to get pregnant! I will really pray that both of us will get our BFP this next cycle!!!!
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  #20  
February 16th, 2007, 10:40 AM
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Thanks ladies
It IS sooo hard. I'm trying to cling to any hope out there... right now, my husband is doing a pretty good job of that though... he has been runing around the house all day doing pretty much anything to make me laugh.... lol, i hate to admit it, but it is working... atleast for now. He is a pretty good husband.
Ok... now he is on his knees making up some silly song while I try to type to you ladies.... oh my goodness.... lol. Ok well anyways, thanks for all the support [/b]

I'm so sorry Melissa!!!

But sounds like you do have a beyond wonderful husband! Keep the faith and hopefully it will happen soon!

Sending you BABY DUST!!!
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