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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
February 24th, 2007, 08:06 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So Monday I go in for my ultrasound to see if my IUI will be Tuesday or Wednesday. I find myself thinking about this IUI all the time. I wonder if it will work, if it does work will I miscary again...

I find it so frustrating and unfair that having a baby is so much darn work! All of my friends just got pregnant w/in a few months of trying. My friend who didnt even want a second baby yet is now pregnant and due the same week I would of had my baby! Im tired of going to baby showers and I told my best friend that Im not going to anymore until I get pregnant again because its to hard for me, i've been to to many.

I told myself that i would be relaxed this cycle and not stress but its not working. I have alot of guilt over miscarrying because the OB that did my d/c told my husband I caused the blighted ovum from not taking enough folic acid before conceiving. We werent even trying the month we got preg because it was during our 3 month "lets take a break from all this ttc craziness" I almost feel like I dont deserve to get preg again if I caused the first m/c.

This whole ttc business is just awful and sometimes i really hate it and wish i could just be content with not having any children.

I really hope that if I get a bfp this cycle that I do everything right so I wont cause another m/c. Im taking my prenates plus an additional folic acid supplement. Im just really scared,tired, and stressed right now and venting is the only way I can deal with it. Thanks for listening
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  #2  
February 24th, 2007, 10:11 PM
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The OB that did your D&C needs a kick in the a**. It's true that folic acid during early days of pregnancy and leading up to is shown to cut down on the possibility of some birth defects but to suggest not taking it caused a blighted ovum is absurd and should've never been said. It's not your fault that you m/c'd, it's just one of those unfortunate things that just happen so please don't feel guilt about that.

As for trying not to stress yourself over your IUI this cycle... that's so hard. I know when I'm in a treatment cycle, I do little else but think about that treatment - what's coming next, what the outcome will be, etc... I think that's normal.

Try to focus on the positive as much as you can... it's exciting that your IUI is only a few days away!

I truly hope this cycle brings you a nice sticky BFP!
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  #3  
February 24th, 2007, 10:44 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have *never* heard of folic acid deficiency causing a blighted ovum! It's just something that happens sometimes. It's NOT something you caused. I agree with the PP... that doctor needs a kick in the you-know-what!

I'm so sorry you're stressed. It's really hard NOT to get stressed through all of this.
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  #4  
February 25th, 2007, 05:28 AM
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I agree with the other ladies - I thought a blighted ovum was caused by some genetic defect (which is present in like 30% of eggs in NORMAL 20 year-old women). Folic acid deficiency most commonly leads to neural tube defects so the babies have issues with spina bifida and stuff, but there is STILL a baby there. I think you need a new OB. Don't feel guilty over your m/c... it sucks, but it just happens. In fact, most women on this board have had one or at least a chemical pg (which is just a really early m/c).

Keep taking your vitamins and just doing whatever you can. Everything you're feeling is totally normal for someone in our situation - the frustration of other women getting pg just by *thinking* about it, the baby showers, the stress, the anxiety, the fear, and the excitement. Just hang in there.

Eva
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  #5  
February 25th, 2007, 06:23 AM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you, I feel alot better this morning. The OB that did my d/c was not my regular doctor for my pregnancy, when I told my regular doctor what he had said about the blighted ovum she acted confused as to why he would of said that because she didnt think a lack of folic acid woud cause that. But I took the OB's word for it since my doctor was not technically an OB just a family practitioner.

I thought I would be better this time around with the IUI's but I think its even worse because I know I can get pregnant. Before I didnt know so it took some of the pressure off. Sometimes I get so mad at dh because i think "if he just had better sperm we wouldnt have to do this"

Im trying to take this cycle one day at a time. I really think I would be alot worse if I didnt have this board to come to. So thank you to everyone for listening and encouraging me.
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  #6  
February 25th, 2007, 07:25 AM
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That OB needs a swift kick to his you know what What a horrible thing to say to a family who just

I understand your stress - can't imagine what I would (will) be like in your shoes. I hope the wait goes quickly for you - any chance of taking on a project? Learn to sew or read a really HUGE novel or something? DH and I are planning all sorts of non-stressful things to do in our 2ww when we do our IVF cycle. Things like taxes (fun LOL), clean out cupboards, go through totes of clothes and donate, clean out storage room etc. Anything to keep my mind busy so I don't go insane waiting.

All your worries are completely normal though hun. I just hope the time goes by fast until you can test and hopefully see a BFP!
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  #7  
February 25th, 2007, 08:51 AM
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Quote:
That OB needs a swift kick to his you know what What a horrible thing to say to a family who just

I understand your stress - can't imagine what I would (will) be like in your shoes. I hope the wait goes quickly for you - any chance of taking on a project? Learn to sew or read a really HUGE novel or something? DH and I are planning all sorts of non-stressful things to do in our 2ww when we do our IVF cycle. Things like taxes (fun LOL), clean out cupboards, go through totes of clothes and donate, clean out storage room etc. Anything to keep my mind busy so I don't go insane waiting.

All your worries are completely normal though hun. I just hope the time goes by fast until you can test and hopefully see a BFP![/b]
Actually I was thinking yesterday that I should go pick up a couple of books to read, help keep my mind busy for the next couple of weeks! I was telling DH this morning that I would like to paint the bedroom and maybe change the look of the room a little. That would keep me busy for at least a whole weekend
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  #8  
February 25th, 2007, 10:33 AM
greenchild's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Actually I was thinking yesterday that I should go pick up a couple of books to read, help keep my mind busy for the next couple of weeks! I was telling DH this morning that I would like to paint the bedroom and maybe change the look of the room a little. That would keep me busy for at least a whole weekend [/b]
If you haven't already read them, give the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich (sp?) a try. After my surgery last Tues DH brought me almost the entire set; I have never laughed so hard from a book ever! Granted laughing hurt alot with the incisions , but the books are well worth a read if you need a pick-me-up.
Hope the next couple of weeks fly by for you!
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  #9  
February 25th, 2007, 11:26 AM
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Yeah, & who was that OB b/c I want to kick their ***** in a major way! How could he have said that to your DH right after the D&C? What kind of professionalism is that? I would hate to think I caused the m/c b/c I would be dealing w/ the guilt the rest of my life. IMO, keep taking your vitamins & keep a + attitude. I know how hard it is to stay + but it really helps w/ the stress. You may also want to pick up a hobby. DH & I started Vietnamese martial arts & it is great for both stress & keeping physically active.
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  #10  
February 25th, 2007, 11:31 AM
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I remember when I woke up from the anesthesia I kept crying saying I had lost my baby. The only thing i knew before I had gone in to do the d/c was that the baby was no longer there. Thats the only explanation I got. When the nurses couldnt calm me down they brought dh back in and thats when he told me that there had never been a baby that it was a blighted ovum. Later that evening he told me what the OB had said about the folic acid. Needless to say Im really unsure if I even want to go back to that hospital if I get pregnant again.
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  #11  
February 25th, 2007, 01:31 PM
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That OB should not be practising medicine!!
Who the heck does he think he is saying that to a woman who lost her baby?!

I pray that things work out for you hun and that you get that BFP this cycle.
As far as i knew, folic acid is to prevent neutral tube defects, nothing to do with MC.
Most of my friends got pg young and never even knew what F/C was, let alone took it

Sending you TONS of *babydust* for this cycle.

Sarah
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