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I know I haven't started any further treatments yet. I think I'm still just grieving the last miscarriage. I'm just getting so discouraged. Every where I ask, almost no one has gotten an IVF when they already have been through multiple miscarriages. I talked to one person that did a couple of times after she has a few miscarriages, and she said it was a failure each time. ...just more miscarriages. I know I'm starting the progesterone therapy first and I really hope that works, but I feel so down that I may be looking at lowering the amount of choices I have. I hate that. I like knowing I have choices and to have the few available to me to have a natural child not looking good, is really very upsetting.
Like I said, it's not like I'm actually going to be doing IVF first, but I was feeling comfortable knowing that if one doesn't' work, the other has a good chance. I'm really putting a lot of faith in my doctor when he says he's certain it will work if we have to try it. He's not making promises, but he feels so positive about it. I just wonder if there's any more tests I should go through before attempting such a tough procedure. I feel like I've been through so much. I guess if I have a miscarriage when doing the progesterone therapy, I'll try to insist he test any tissues and what not just so I feel a little better knowing that if I am going to go through an IVF, that my chances are still good.
Hehe, it's funny how writing all this out helps me think. I'm still very sad today. It comes and goes. I really haven't had the chance to properly grieve my last miscarriage because I've had so much distraction with going to classes. I'm not too surprised that randomly today, I feel so pessimistic about my chances. I'm normally a very optimistic person, but even the biggest optimists has their down days. Either way, I hate feeling like this. I just hope it goes away soon and I get to feeling positive again. I like that feeling much better
Eliza - Wife to husband, Jason. Mother to twin boys, Cameron and Kiefer (6-24-08)
I'm sorry you're having a tough day. Like you said though, even the most optimistic person will have bad days too. I consider myself to be a positive thinker for the most part, but I know I've had some really bad days too.
You're going through a lot right now, so be easy on yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed, it will pass. When you do have a tough day, try to focus on your next step only and not so much on the choices and big picture. That helps to control the sense of being overwhelmed which should help get you out of your funk.
Hang in there and vent away as needed. I'm like you - sometimes just writing it out helps sort through thoughts, so I can relate!
I think we've all been there. I, too, have some really crappy down days. Sometimes I'm excited, sometimes I'm indifferent, and sometimes I'm just pessimistic. Those are the worst days. But it will pass.
As far as your RE is concerned, don't necessarily doubt him, but definitely ask more questions. Ask about how exactly he thinks this will help prevent m/c's. Ask about what other things might be leading to m/c's and how he intends to work them up. I've come to learn that sometimes the only way of getting all the info you need is to ask questions. Hopefully that'll help resolve any doubt you might have about going through will all of these things. I think that's the most important thing about any of these procedures or medications - with all their side effects and inconvenience, the only way to get through it all is to have confidence in what you're doing. So ask ask ask, then read, then ask some more.
Eliza ~ We all have our down days. I don't think it is at all abnormal, just the opposite, very normal. It is very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when there seems to be so many walls b/t you & the end. I know exactly how you are feeling. Everytime I went to the dr, it was more bad news. Finally, some decent news but still not enough to get me through every day knowing that we will have a child at the end. Try to keep busy, allow yourself to grieve your last loss & remember we are all here, struggling as you are & completely understand what it is like.