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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
June 1st, 2007, 12:17 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
I am completely devastated and heartbroken.
DB and i have broke up today.
He admitted that he does want to be with me, but he does not want IVF this yr and maybe not next.
Infact he said he does not care at all, if we ever have a child.
After 3yrs ttc and dreaming of my own family and how happy we would be, this has broken me.
I am going to lose the man i love, my home as i cannot afford to keep the flat alone, my chance
of being a mum and also all you girls and JM.

I have told the admins etc that i can longer host here.
I have no place here anymore.
I will miss all of you wonderful ladies, so,so much and it breaks my heart to leave you all.
JM has been my 'oasis' for so long now and i have loved being here.
It is the place i felt most at home with my problems and struggles and i have loved being co host here.
I am so sorry i am leaving you. I cannot stop crying and cannot even look at my blinkies without
being so utterly sad. Everything i have wanted has gone and i don't see any point in this life anymore.
I have NOTHING anymore. compeletly nothing.

I wish all of you ladies, every luck in your journey and pray that your bean sticks gillian, and all you
other ladies who are pg.
I hope your IVF works Sandy and i hope that you get that BFP soon Melissa.
I am too upset to post anymore. I want you ALL to get those babies and be Mothers.

Thank you for allowing me to really feel 'part' of things for the 1st time in my life.

God bless you all and Goodbye.

Sarah.
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  #2  
June 1st, 2007, 12:31 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Roseburg OR
Posts: 987
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sarah i'm so sorry!! I know this is sooo hard for you but you WILL find someone that wants you and and wants to have a family as much as you do. I know its hard to see now but everything happens for a reason and even though its bad now it will get better and a better life will come from this event. I truly believe this. I believe that even though you are sad now and will be for awhile you will find your true happiness again. Its hard to hear but if he doesn't care if he has a family then the two of you weren't meant to be because a family is sooo important to you. Take what you can from this relationship and use it to make your next one better. I will miss you so much and please know that even though we have never met, like many of the other members, I consider you a friend please email me at anytime at kellymoline@yahoo.com to talk about anything or share jokes whatever and it will be ttc free!!!
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04/30/08been through all of our classes and home studies and waiting to look through the kid books for adoption !!!
starting IVF- decided against IVF
starting glucophage try I more IUI bfn
Starting adoption classes!! Finally getting the process started
IUI #3 BFN
1 laporoscopy, 1 mc, 6mo's of clomid, 3 mo's of injections and IUI's
countless blooddraws and ultrasounds. Hopefully a BFP soon!!
Kelly 29 and JD 29 adopting #1 (or maybe two)
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  #3  
June 1st, 2007, 12:33 PM
KittyMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Canada, eh?
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Sarah, my heart is breaking for you and the sadness that is overwhelming you right now. You will always have a place here, even if you are not TTC because we all have grown to adore you and your positive spirit. I am praying that someday you will get to hold that baby in your arms and that you can put behind you all of this heartbreak.

(((HUGS)))
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  #4  
June 1st, 2007, 12:35 PM
dzine21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm not good with words. I can only say I'm sorry. ((super duper uper hugs)) I'm so sorry.
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  #5  
June 1st, 2007, 01:06 PM
Miles
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Sweetie, I have told you this already but I want to say it again I am here for you anytime you need to talk. I am so sorry and I hope you get to find someone who deserves you, your a great person and your DB doesnt deserve you at all. I hope you find someone who wants a baby as much as you and who makes you happy. I am always no matter what here for you.
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  #6  
June 1st, 2007, 01:19 PM
DreamChaser's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 8,269
My heart is broken for you Sarah. Don't lose hope that you won't be a mother - you will find someone that will cherish you and want to have a family as much as you do. Hang on to that hope and know that we all love you. Please feel free to email anytime at ddelsol409@hotmail.com, so we can chat. Love ya!
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  #7  
June 1st, 2007, 01:31 PM
Aidan's Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Middle of nowhere, ON, Canada
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Sarah, it breaks my heart to read this and see how much pain you're in.

There are many of us here who have come to know you over time and care very much for you. I certainly understand how it would be too difficult for you right now to come here and see why you need to step away, but I truly believe that you will be back again someday in a new solid relationship ready to TTC again. So don't you worry, you will always have a home here and it will be here for you when you're ready to come back.

I know this is so hard for you right now, but you're better off in the long run. You'll be Mom one day and you will find the right man to be a terrific Dad to your kids.

I'm going to miss you terribly. You have been such a huge support to me and I will always be grateful to you for that.

Email me anytime you want to chat or vent or whatever - I'm at booduke@rogers.com.

*hugs*
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  #8  
June 1st, 2007, 02:11 PM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Houston, TX
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Uh...I totally didn't expect to find this post coming back from vacation ...

What can I say to you? How can I make you feel better, take away the pain...it just isn't fair. I want you to still be here. You can't just disappear from our lives b/c you aren't going to ttc right now. We still need you & love you. What your DB is doing isn't fair to you. If he doesn't want children, then maybe he isn't the one that you need to be w/. Sometimes letting someone go that you love so much is the right thing to do. I remember splitting from my ex & being heart broken but at the same time, being lifted of fear & guilt. It was a true awakening period in my life & I can only hope that after the 1st storms blow over, you will also see this to be true. There is a man out there that will love you, love your idea of being a mother, & make that idea a reality. Don't ever give up hope.

Please know I am here for you what ever it is you may need.
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  #9  
June 1st, 2007, 02:21 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was so worried about this happening Sarah... I haven't been able to get you off my mind latley, and I was waiting and waiting for you to update us... I can't even begin to relate with what you must be feeling right now. Just know that i am crying with you, and I wish so badly that i could give you a ginormous hug. I know it's not over for you, I know it. It's so hard when God has a different plan then we had set for ourselves, but I can gurantee that his is better. I know it's something you may not want to hear, and I'm sorry... It's just the only comfort I trully know, and I want to share that with you.
I understand why this is the end of the road (temporarily) for JM.... But i really hope it's not the end of our friendship!! My e-mail address is Melissaholman345@hotmail.com- let me know what yours is so that we can keep in touch.
I am just so thankful that db (even though you still love him so much) Is out of the picture now- because if he wasn't willing to stick around through the hard stuff- and if his desires weren't lined up with YOURS, he wouldn't have been much of a father, or a husband... I know it's hard to think about right now, but I trully believe it was probably for the best. You are still SO young!! And there are men out there probably dying to be with you! A man that loves you dearly for who you are, and wants the same things as you- and He may even be a better fit for children and the whole TTC journey!! I will be praying for you hun- I love you like a sister and I really hope that you can find hope in this dark dark time. Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do...

<>< Melissa
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  #10  
June 1st, 2007, 02:23 PM
~Heather~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sarah, my heart breaks for you. You really don't have to leave. Just because you are not ttc you can still stay here with us. I really don't know what esle to say. I have been through something similar, so if you ever need to talk I'll always be here for you. There is something better for you out there. I'll PM you and tell you what happened to me. I'd rather not go into it here. But I promise things will get better. And you will find a wonderful man who wants kids as much as you do.
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  #11  
June 1st, 2007, 02:50 PM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Twin Cities, MN
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Sarah, I'm so sorry that all this is happening to you. You don't deserve it. I think you already know how welcome you are on JM and on this board especially... doesn't matter if you're TTC or not. Your optimism has been such an inspiration for me... you have no idea how much you've helped me get through the last several months!

I also wanted to add that I agree with Melissa... I'm not the most religious person, but I DO believe that God has some plan that only He understands. Maybe (and don't get mad at me for saying this), maybe God knew that your DB wasn't the one and that's why TTC has been so difficult. I know you will find the man you deserve and the man who wants to father your children, and you have so much time so don't give up! You'll be the best mom and you ARE going to get your chance... with the right person next to you. God knows what he's doing, and I guess sometimes we just have to have faith that we're being led in the right direction.

Also, don't feel pressured to stay with your DB. Even though he says he still wants to be with you, the question really is Do you still want to be with him? Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't want what you want and will only make your journey more difficult. You deserve better, and I hope you realize that because all of us here KNOW that.
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  #12  
June 1st, 2007, 03:04 PM
candy123365's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Alabama
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Sarah I am so sorry, I jsudt don't know what to say. I hope you find the man of your dreams real soon and become a great mom that I know you will be. Hang in there and don't give up.
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  #13  
June 1st, 2007, 04:11 PM
TheyGrowLikeWeeds's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I can't offer anymore wisdom and comfort than these wonderful people have already. But, I really do hope you stick around. We'll ALL miss you so much and don't like to see you so sad. Though it's very understandable. What DB did to you is uncalled for and a huge let down. He basically lead you on with false hopes of starting a family together. I was hoping it was just fatherhood jitters, but he just was dragging you through the mud.

Melissa is right, had he waited to drop this on you after you both conceived a child, things would have been a lot worse for you. That's only a harsh bit of reality, but for now, your heart has a hole in it the size of Texas. It will mend as difficult as that seems. Hearts mend better with friends and we ALL are your friends here! I'm begging you, please don't leave us completely. There is a bright future for you. You will find someone that will treat you better and wants what you want. But give it time. No need to rush something like that. You have always been so kind to us here and your words carry so much weight around here. You deserve so much more than what your DG ever offered you.

So take a break from here. Go visit family and hang out with some friends. Take time to heal and feel more comfortable in your unfortunate situation. But, please do drop in every now and then and say HI. We'd love to hear from you. When you are ready and things start looking up again, I know we'll see you back!

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  #14  
June 1st, 2007, 04:18 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sarah Im so very very sorry this is happening. Its not fair that your DB did this to you. Your always welcome here ttc or not, and have been such a positive person on this board.
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  #15  
June 1st, 2007, 05:13 PM
Daniellea22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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sarah i am so sorry sweety. I don't know what to say to make you feel better but if you want to be a mother, don't ever give up on that dream! im here if you want to talk sweety
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  #16  
June 1st, 2007, 09:57 PM
hoping4littleone's Avatar Super Mommy
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Sarah, although I am not on this board that often, I have ready so many of your posts and you truly are such an uplifting spirit. You have a gift to make people feel good when they're down, and I hope in this time you give that gift to yourself. Just like all the other girls said, I truly believe you will find someone who wants to go on this journey with you and he will be a GREAT father!!

Sending you tons of hugs!!!

*Jocelyn
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  #17  
June 2nd, 2007, 07:52 AM
diznynurse's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Florida
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I'm so sorry! If you DB feels this way, then you are better off without him. YOu will find someone ho wants a family as much as you do. You will be blessed.
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  #18  
June 2nd, 2007, 07:52 AM
~Sandy~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMG, Sarah , I am so sorry. Like the girls have already said, God has a plan and while we may not like it to much, it is ususally the best thing for us and we never understand that until later. I understand why you need to step away for a while, beleive me, I have left for times as well. Know that we are here for you whenenver you need us/ (((hugs))) <3
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  #19  
June 6th, 2007, 03:33 PM
aries2276's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: New Jersey
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I'm really sorry for waht you're going through righ right now.though i'm a new member whenever I posted something you always took time to post words of encouragement and alwyas checking in.You even said we'll start our IVF together. I'll definitely keep you in my prayers.
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Me=32 (Anovulatory Cycles,High FSH)

TTC #1 since Feb 2006
Apr 06 - m/c. Aug 06 to Jan 06 - TTC naturally.
Feb 07 to Nov 07 - 5 unsuccessful IUI's with injectibles,1 ectopic,1 Laproscopy.Lost left tube

IVF:
Jan 08 IVF # 1 - Ovulated Early. Converted to IUI -BFN
Mar 08 IVF # 2 - BFN

New RE:
May 08 - Clomid and IUI- BFP
Thank you Jesus for this miracle.

Our Precious baby born 5 Feb 09 @ 7:52pm. 7lb 8oz, 19 1/2"

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  #20  
June 6th, 2007, 08:40 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sarah, I am so sorry to read this. I haven't had much time to be on JM lately adn I saw this today...my heart breaks for you and I want to reach out to you any way I an. Although our situations differ in some ways I want you to know my now DH and I went through a terrible break up after 3 m/c's...he was burnt out, I was depressed, he was confused, I was a disaster. When he left I really thought my life was over...I actually contemplated taking my life at one point...but praise the Lord, He saved me...as only God can. I don't want to be preachy or obnoxious. I just want you to knwo that you have a network of women here that will continue to love you adn be there for you. I can be reached by email anytime as well rinam06@yahoo.com. Please feel free to chat with me. You are not alone. You will get through this. it may not feel that way at this moment but I promise, it will get better. When you doubt your place in life please close your eyes and think of us...think of God and how he has brought you out fo dark places before. Know in your heart that you are a strong woman. I know DB saying these things has hurt you to the core and with all you've been through together....it's a pain that can feel unbearable. I wish I was there with you now. Please, email me if you need to talk. I have IM too.
Hang in there. This will turn around...you will look back one day and see the growth through the pain.
Your freind always,
Norina
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