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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
June 5th, 2007, 03:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Be angry if you found out that your DH/DB or SO had been talking to an ex online???

I was on myspace checking on messages and such and just happened to see that DH had changed his pics on his page, so I go on there to see what he has on his page and get down to where the comments are and see comments from someone I don't recognize. So I go to investigate more and find out that its one of his ex's. From what I can tell is that they have been sending eachother comments, and I tried to log onto his page but he's obviously changed his password and I can't get into his page to see what comments he's sent her or if he's been messaging her

Normally I trust him with everything but this has me upset that he wouldn't even mention that he has her on there, ESPECIALLY when we saw her two weeks ago and I was giving him crap about her and still didn't mention anything. After I saw that and couldn't figure out his password I stood here just shaking!!!! I am sooooooooo livid right now I don't know what to do or to think about him!!! We have ALWAYS been very open about things and I just can't understand why he wouldn't say anything about this! From as far back as I can find on here he has messages from here since before his bday in March

I was supposed to go pick him up from work and we were supposed to go grocery shopping but right now I don't want to be anywhere NEAR him, I have even turned off my cell phone and the house phones so he can't call. I really am so hurt and just don't know how to handle this.

What would any of you do???

ETA: I couldn't get on her page to see what comments he had been sending her because its private!
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Raquel Mom to The "A" Team: Anthony, almost 10yrs old (OMG double digits!!!!), Alexis, 8, Aiden, 5
Missing our Angel: Aries Isaiah 09/06/05 Carried you for only 24wks1d but in Mommy's heart FOREVER

To my Aries:
The time we had with you was brief,
We had to say good-bye,
Now angels kiss your little face,
And sing your lullaby.

Someday again, we'll be with you,
To cherish all those things,
Until that day it helps to know,
You're safe in angels wings.





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  #2  
June 5th, 2007, 03:19 PM
Miles
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Posts: n/a


My Dh actually works with his ex and he does talk to her every day. I think you just need to talk to your Dh hun.
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  #3  
June 5th, 2007, 03:28 PM
jeepgirl9478's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,778
I have several of my ex's on my myspace and my husband could care less. If you are really worried about it I would ask to see his inbox and see if there is anything in there. If he has nothing to hide he shouldn't have a problem showing you. I wouldn't get to worked up about it yet. Just wait and see what he says.
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  #4  
June 5th, 2007, 03:36 PM
nr747's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Ridgway, PA
Posts: 303
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I hate myspace, me and my dh fights occasionally about it but if he has nothing to hide, he will include you in on it. My dh certainly does, I feel bad for my dh i have a lot of insecurity issues to work out.
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  #5  
June 5th, 2007, 03:38 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Thanks, Ladies. I am not in anyway upset if he talks to an ex, heck we have one of them that live 7doors down from us, he works with another ones Mom and we see her all the time. What I AM upset about is him keeping this from me! Usually he will tell me "I saw so and so or talked to so and so the other day" Why wouldn't he tell me anything about her and him sending her comments, messages or whatever and this has obviously been going on now for MONTHS.

I am just really hurt that he couldn't tell me that he had her on there or that he's been communicating with her! I know for a fact from before that she kept up on his life and the last time we saw her or at least last time I saw her was when I was pregnant with Aiden and we were at her cousins wedding she followed him around like a puppy dog!!!

NR, I get where you are coming from. And I can say I am in no way insecure or usually ever jealous. I know a few things that make me secure where I am at. If he decides to cheat or leave me or whatever he has a WHOLE heck of a lot to lose than I do and he knows that. I have already learned that I can do it on my own without a man. He already knows it will be a cold day in H_ _L before he will ever get my kids from me. And his next chick will be supporting him after I'm through with him. So I know its not anything about being jealous, its about being hurt that he's keeping things from me
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Raquel Mom to The "A" Team: Anthony, almost 10yrs old (OMG double digits!!!!), Alexis, 8, Aiden, 5
Missing our Angel: Aries Isaiah 09/06/05 Carried you for only 24wks1d but in Mommy's heart FOREVER

To my Aries:
The time we had with you was brief,
We had to say good-bye,
Now angels kiss your little face,
And sing your lullaby.

Someday again, we'll be with you,
To cherish all those things,
Until that day it helps to know,
You're safe in angels wings.





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  #6  
June 5th, 2007, 03:43 PM
nr747's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2006
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Quote:
Thanks, Ladies. I am not in anyway upset if he talks to an ex, heck we have one of them that live 7doors down from us, he works with another ones Mom and we see her all the time. What I AM upset about is him keeping this from me! Usually he will tell me "I saw so and so or talked to so and so the other day" Why wouldn't he tell me anything about her and him sending her comments, messages or whatever and this has obviously been going on now for MONTHS.

I am just really hurt that he couldn't tell me that he had her on there or that he's been communicating with her! I know for a fact from before that she kept up on his life and the last time we saw her or at least last time I saw her was when I was pregnant with Aiden and we were at her cousins wedding she followed him around like a puppy dog!!![/b]
I understand, it sucks when you are very truthful with each other, I hope everything works out for you. Just hold in there it might be what it seems.
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  #7  
June 5th, 2007, 03:53 PM
Miles
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I can understand being mad that he didnt tell you, my Dh usually tells me as well and I am sure I would be upset if he didnt tell me and I found out like you did.
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  #8  
June 5th, 2007, 07:51 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,442
Send a message via AIM to JeanneMo
I agree... I'd totally just ask him about it and see how he replies... sometimes they honestly don't have a clue... they are being totally innocent and just replying or whatever... DH used to get very upset when I'd email with my ex... so I eventually decided it wasn't worth it and stopped... I had NOTHING to hide about it and that is the only way he knew about it... I'd leave (and still do) my email wide open on my computer and at any time he wants to see anything... all he has to do is look. Tell him you will feel better if you are in agreement that there are no passwords etc. (all mine are saved in my computer so they automatically fill in... no hiding anything... no guessing...) It's only fair.
If he gets upset or refuses to share things... THEN it's time to start looking into it further... until then... pick your battles... and give him the benefit of the doubt... MEN ARE DUMB!!! (Or if he is like my DH... he may HONESTLY THINK HE TOLD YOU... or that you know... and you didn't hear him or haven't been paying that close attention.)
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  #9  
June 6th, 2007, 05:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 3,145
If you asked him for his password, would he give it to you right away? That way you could look and see the comments that are being sent to each other.
I agree though, men are dumb and do stupid things that they don't even realize would be suspicuous to us It might have just been a coincidence that his password has been changed at the same time he's talking to his ex. I would definately ask him though
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  #10  
June 6th, 2007, 10:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Well, I am still livid with him and we are still not talking to eachother. When he came in last night he acted like he didn't give a rats behind about why I was mad or anything. Just sat there and ignored me and even had the nerve to give me attitude when I asked him if he was going to go meet HIS Mom at the store. So I would just rather not talk to him. THEN it seems like the more I keep probing into this the more stuff I am finding that I don't like. Like last night I went into his aol account to see if there were any messages Myspace sends out about messages and I should of known when he deletes things he makes sure to permanently delete them AND I go into his email addy book and I find her address there (not the Myspace one).

I am just so angry here that last night I didn't sleep (laid on the couch all night) and felt sick to my stomach all night long
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Raquel Mom to The "A" Team: Anthony, almost 10yrs old (OMG double digits!!!!), Alexis, 8, Aiden, 5
Missing our Angel: Aries Isaiah 09/06/05 Carried you for only 24wks1d but in Mommy's heart FOREVER

To my Aries:
The time we had with you was brief,
We had to say good-bye,
Now angels kiss your little face,
And sing your lullaby.

Someday again, we'll be with you,
To cherish all those things,
Until that day it helps to know,
You're safe in angels wings.





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