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Some of you may or may not remember when I posted about my little brothers wife being pregnant.
Last time i saw my brother was during christmas and we were all celebrating him being home from Iraq and my pregnancy, but then right before he left I miscarried.
My brother and SIL are coming to visit July 15th-29th, she will be 4mths preg by then.
My SIL told my mom she wants a baby shower while she is back. Which really sucks because my EDD was July 24th...that week and especially that day were going to be hard enough but now I have to attend a baby shower during that time.
She is going to make A HUGE deal out of this pregnancy while she is back, and I really dont want to listen to it. I know thats mean and hateful and i know im jealous but I cant help it. Her and I have never really gotten along...actually she hasnt gotten along with any of my family..including aunts uncles and cousins because she is kind of hateful and a know it all of everything for being only 19..almost 20yr old.
Im very happy for my brother that he is going to be a dad but im dreading what im going to have to go through while they are back.
I dont know how to explain in words how this makes me feel or the type of person she is without sounding like im just jealous and overreacting. I just know that she is going to rub her pregnancy in my face while she is back and im going to have to smile and put up with it for my brothers sake.
Her and my brother are fully aware of my troubles ttc...its no secret in my family how long we've been trying or to the extent that we have tried to conceive a child. It wont stop her though from going on and on and on about her pregnancy.
Wow that was long and Im sorry ive been rambling. Its just depressing thinking that im going to be drowing in everything baby when my EDD comes up.
Dont go. If your brother and family know of your fertility struggles, they will understand. If she is a horses rear, as you explained, who cares what she thinks. Its bad timing for you, and you have to think about yourself. The ones that matter will understand.
I very much agree with mommaW. You have to take care of yourself. If she's going to make a big deal of it, why do you care? In the end, I'm sure she won't realize this but she's probably prefer a Christin that's happy for her and fully capable of expressing joy for her new baby over a jealous and upset Christin who will not be able to enjoy her time in the spotlight and will just be looking miserable. In the end, you have to worry about what you can handle.
I just recently posted about how upset I was going to my cousin's baby shower. She's 6 1/2 months pregnant. I just found out I am. After a hell of a time getting to this point again, she didn't' have any troubles. I was miserable. Happy for her, yes, but even in my current situation, I was really upset.
My point is, you are definitely not alone in feeling the way you do. It's perfectly normal and you should not feel badly about it. If you feel you cannot be there with a smile on your face, then you shouldn't go. Offer a gift and a letter if you like, send your cheers her way, but you do not need to be there if it's going to be too painful. The fact that it's during a very sensitive time for you only will make it more reasonable for you to stay home, relaxing with a movie, pizza, popcorn, and some friends and anyone not going to this party.
I hope you will be ok. Don't worry about rambling. That's what we are here for, rambling!
Eliza - Wife to husband, Jason. Mother to twin boys, Cameron and Kiefer (6-24-08)
I tend to agree with the other ladies here, don't go. If you have a good relationship with your brother, maybe just have a chat with him and let him know why you would rather not be there. Surely he will understand that you are in fact very happy for him, but at the same time have to deal with the emotional issues it's causing you. As for the sister-in-law, it doesn't sound like you are that close with her anyway, so don't even worry about that. She'll have enough others there for her to go on and on about the pregnancy with, she'll be fine.
Your family will understand, they've supported you through everything to this point, they will continue to do so.
I say don't go. Last year I went to sil's baby shower the week after I mc and it was one of the hardest days of my life. As much as you want to be there to support your bro I think he would completely understand why you aren't there.
Just don't go. I didn't go to my sil baby shower because we were ttc and hadn't yet gotten pregnant and that was really hard then too. I would just send a gift by someone else. Atleast to let your brother know how happy you are that he is gonna be a father and to heck with her lol. SIL would even tell me during her hole pregnancy how miserable she was and for me to think about not trying cause it was so hard to carry her baby. She didn't have any problems in that department just an arse. She even told my other sil when we finally got prego that if we had more than one she wouldn't come around on holidays, that made me so friggin mad. Can ya tell how much I hate her lol. I hope I have triplets