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Dh getting deployed


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
June 22nd, 2007, 10:22 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Yep, dh gets back next week, is home for 3 weeks and then will be leaving for 8 months. I just got the stupid email. He was supposed to be going to another ship before the deployment, but now his current ship is saying they have no one to replace him so he cannot leave he will be going on the deployment. So in under a month James will be gone til March of 2008.
I don't know whether to cry, scream, or just start banging my head against the wall now. I am so sick of this stupid week I just want it to be over. My mom, the lightening, now the navy I'm freaking ready to kill someone.
What are we going to do about ttc? Put it onhold for another 8 months? We've only been trying over a year now so why should I even be upset that it's another 8 months of not getting pregnant
So we will have just enough time to sign papers to buy a house and before the ink is dry he will be gone. I will be moving by myself. I thought it was exciting that we would be owning our 1st home together and fixing it up together, I knew that dream was too good to be true.
I think I'm going to start banging my head against that wall now.
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  #2  
June 22nd, 2007, 10:27 AM
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I'm so sorry that everything seems to be working against you right now. My Mom was a Navy wife and I've asked her before how it was that she was able to get by with my Dad gone for so long and she never really can answer the question, she just said you do what you have to do. I think it takes a special kind of strength to be the spouse of someone who is serving and you definitely have that strength!

I think once the initial disappointment of the deployment happening so soon passes, you'll get excited about the house again. Just think, it will give you something to really focus on while he's gone and you'll be all set up and ready for him to come back and hopefully work on that BFP!

*hugs*
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  #3  
June 22nd, 2007, 11:44 AM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OH NO! This is horrible! I can't imagine what you military wives go through. I have a hard time being away from DH for 1 night, much less 8 MONTHS! How do you do it? Behind every hero, is his wife.
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  #4  
June 22nd, 2007, 12:41 PM
~Sandy~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMG!!!.... Maybe can you get him to give a couple samples and have them frozen??? Then do IUI's while he is away?? I bet he could give quite a few samples before he leaves.....
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  #5  
June 22nd, 2007, 02:30 PM
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Quote:
OMG!!!.... Maybe can you get him to give a couple samples and have them frozen??? Then do IUI's while he is away?? I bet he could give quite a few samples before he leaves.....[/b]
Yep, I called the clinic that we weren't going to visit til Christmas. They said the freezing would be $1500, which is fine. They said we could freeze as many samples as he could give. I'm still waiting for a response from dh to see what he thinks about that. I'm not so sure he will be on bored with doing it without him here........
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  #6  
June 22nd, 2007, 02:43 PM
diznynurse's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((Hugs))) I"m so sorry he'll be leaving for so long. But you've got us! We're a good second, right! lol
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  #7  
June 22nd, 2007, 03:05 PM
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(((Hugs))) I"m so sorry he'll be leaving for so long. But you've got us! We're a good second, right! lol[/b]
At this rate you ladies are a great 1st!
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  #8  
June 22nd, 2007, 03:06 PM
angeleyes's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh sweetie I'm sorry to hear your news. But at least you do have options and maybe with a little persuasion you can get those samples before he leaves??
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  #9  
June 23rd, 2007, 02:23 AM
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You poor thing!!! Most of the time being a military wife really stinks. Look on the bright side....if you are fixing the house up by yourself you will become more independant and learn some really good new skills. Last year when DH was in Iraq I was learning how to do all kinds of crazy (man) jobs. I can replace a toilit, fix the shingles on the roof, put in new shower fixtures, change my own oil and fix my stupid van. I think when DH left everything in my house decided to break. I say you should do the IUI. If I were you I would wait a few months after he left and then start trying, that way you don't have to wait 8 more months before trying again and he will still be there for some of the pregnancy. If you do an IUI right after he leaves and it works then he would miss most of the prenancy. DH missed all but 2 weeks of my first month and 2 weeks of my last month so he really don't have any clue what it is like to have a pregnant wife. Anyway if you ever need to talk I am here! Tell your DH to take care and be carefull!
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  #10  
June 23rd, 2007, 07:25 AM
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Charity - I'm so sorry he's gonna be gone the next 8 months... that really stinks. But I also think that if you can you should go ahead and still do the IUI's. I did all my IUIs while my DH was away (he had moved 3 months before I did, which isn't nearly the same as your situation, but still). I went to my appointments alone, did the IUI alone, tested alone, and then took pics of the results and showed him. It wasn't great not having him there, but I just didn't want to waste more time. IUI isn't too bad to go through alone, so if you're up for it, you can still do that!
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  #11  
June 23rd, 2007, 07:38 AM
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I honestly don't know how you ladies do it. How difficult to go through all those months without your hubby (((hugs))). I do think that if he is up for it, going for the IUI while he is gone would give you both something to work towards and he would still be home in time for the birth. Difficult decision, especially when you are buying the new house and dealing with your mom.

Sorry hun!
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  #12  
June 23rd, 2007, 07:44 AM
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Any news Charity on what he has decided????(((hugs)))
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  #13  
June 23rd, 2007, 06:34 PM
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  #14  
June 23rd, 2007, 06:52 PM
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Any news Charity on what he has decided????(((hugs)))[/b]
Not yet. We have decided to shelf that converstation til he gets home next week. I think I might have him convinced he's just being stubborn cause he wants to go to everything, which I can't blame him He did tell me to go ahead and make the 1st appt since it's 2 weeks til we can get in. He said that would give us plenty of time to talk about it.
I'm still going to put an offer in Monday on this house that I REALLY like. Dh wasn't sure we should still buy a house if he is leaving, but he knows I can handle whatever pops up, I hope.
All in all it was nice to go to Panama Beach today and get away from all phones and computers. I definately was able to relax and get a hold of the situation in my head at least.
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  #15  
June 24th, 2007, 05:51 PM
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OH Charity! i can't believe i missed this thread! I am SO sorry to hear about dh's deployment... you are a strong woman for sure, i could never do that. I miss my hubby every time he leaves for work.... it's pathetic really. I really admire you girl!! And we are proud of your dh as well... I'm so sorry about your hopes and dreams getting put on hold That is soooo not fun....
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  #16  
June 25th, 2007, 02:29 PM
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Wives and families of military have to really put their best foot forward sometimes and now is one of those times for you!
I agree, you can occupy your time by buying a house- and working on getting it set up to surprise him! Show him how strong you are! I also agree with the IUI idea...
Don't know if he is headed into "war" or what his agenda is, but GOD FORBID should something happen, then you would still have that part of him to try with. (sounds kinda weird, I know, but...)
Totally different- I know, but My brother is in Iraq right now and I was so bummed that HE is missing out on seeing me preg. and will miss out seeing his niece or nephew! I also feel bad because even though he is older than I am, he is single, and has no kids so should something happen to him- there is no part of him here to carry on. I know that is hard on my folks and him as well.
Anyway- Keep us posted how your talks go... don't focus at all on your mom right now. Worry about you, DH, and your home and the decision you two have to make now.
Thoughts and prayers are with you!
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