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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
October 9th, 2007, 03:46 PM
amanda872003's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 317
Hi, I was just wondering how many of you were up for adoption. My dh and I have been talking about this a lot lately. How long do we try before we go to the next step. We are considering invitro now. We have been told that it is a lot easier to set a limit on how far your willing to go, financially, and emotionally. This has already been a hard road up to here. I just don't know how I would handle failed invitro too. We are just trying to consider all of our options. With adoption we get a guaranteed baby. With invitro were spending all that money and may not even get a baby. Our insurance covers nothing. How do you know when to stop? Thanks Amanda
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  #2  
October 9th, 2007, 05:23 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 8,635
If you feel like it's too much that you would rather stop than go on then I would say Stop. Infertility is a hard road to travel and some people stop sooner than others its just a personal choice. Dh and I have considered adoption even Embryo Adoption but we arent to that point yet. Dh and I have decided that when or IF we get to the point that we financially can not go on or the possiblity of more shots more dr visits outweigh the need for a child..then thats our stopping point.

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  #3  
October 9th, 2007, 05:33 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 816
Hi Christin,
I agree totally, you need to set boundaries. I think if you just let it go on forever not only will your bank account suffer but you will be miserable in life as well. In our case, we keep making milestones for ourselves like, we will try this drug for 3 months if that doesn't work, we move it IVF for 3 cycles and if that doesn't work we move forward with adoption. I think if you give yourself a beginning and an end for each treatment, you feel more in control.
Good luck with the decisions you make!

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  #4  
October 9th, 2007, 05:44 PM
Ivy's Avatar
Ivy Ivy is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,207
Hi, I'm a lurker but TTC'd with Medical Assistance about two years ago.

It is very important to set that boundery. It is different for everyone. Some are willing to go all the way, some dont' want to get invasive. Just know that the bounderies are there to help, but don' t have to be a rock wall you can't go past. You can set a boundery but decide you want to try one more thing. You can set a boundery and decide to stop before you get there. It is just a marker to help you on your way.

Trust your heart, trust your insticts. It was the best thing I ever did.

Good luck.
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  #5  
October 9th, 2007, 05:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,013
<span style="font-family:Courier New">This is actually the one point which I am so afraid of...that one day dh and I will have this same type of conversation and realize that it's just not going to happen for us. We also have been travelling such a long road and still nothing. I'm 32 now and he's 34. So we figure we still got a few more years ahead of us before we can actually say we have to quit.

I really don't know if adoption would be an option for us. Although it would be nice to actually be a mother to a child, I just don't think I can be completely happy knowing that it's not my own. I don't know...everyone has their own views on this one. </span>
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  #6  
October 9th, 2007, 06:08 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,159
We always kept the adoption option open, and we still have if things don't work out this time around. I want Nolan to have a sibling-we just have to decide how far we'll go before adopting.
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  #7  
October 10th, 2007, 04:38 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 633
for me personally, i don't think i would consider adoption. i think its wonderful all the people who are able to open their homes and hearts to children in need, and watching shows on angelina jolie's adoptions and rosie o'donnell's have put it all in a more positive light for me, but i still don't know if DH and i would consider it. there are adopted children in my family (cousins to me, not siblings) and i have seen the heartbreak of my aunts when these kids wanted to find their 'real mom' etc and i just don't know if i could take that.

i kind of feel like if giving birth is not in the cards for me, then i'll just have to accept it and not have kids.
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Started TTC October 2005
TTC w/MA starting May 2007
April 2007-DH SA all normal
May 2007-Clomid - BFN
June 2007-Clomid w/HCG Trigger & IUI- BFN
July 2007-Clomid w/HCG Trigger &IUI-BFN
August 2007-Clomid - BFN
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  #8  
October 10th, 2007, 07:26 PM
amanda872003's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 317
Thank you all for your input. We are still praying about it right now. If we decide to do the invitro, we will do the shared risk plan with integra med where it cost more but you get 3 tries and if none work, then you get 70% of your money back. If they don't work I think we will start talking about adoption more. Thank you
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