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I know you don't know me but I need to vent...


Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
July 30th, 2009, 05:25 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,657
Hi ladies. I know most of you don't know me. I've posted a couple times on ttc large families. Anyhow I have nine children currently. Hoping for more....here is my vent.
I am getting SO SICK of constant snippy comments from people (espicially family) regarding the size of my family. Usually it revolves around when any minor thing goes wrong it must be because we have so many kids. Examples:
our son Emanuel has a habit of making annoying noises and sounds, you know, tapping, drumming, clicking his tounge, you get the idea. DH was on the phone with his sister and mentioned that Emanuel was making his annoying noises again and she said it might be because he isn't getting enough attention (due to the number of siblings he has) and that he was probably making noises to get our attention. Seriously?

Another time, the same SIL said she didn't think people should have over 3 kids b/c if they did, then "someone's getting neglected" What the heck??

My mother last week said that she didn't think I should homeschool our oldest anymore (we weren't planning to anyhow) because with all the "babies running around" I couldn't possibly pay him enough attention.

Then, at a family gathering when we were visiting, I made hamburger helper for the kids and we grilled steaks for a late dinner for the grown-ups. My oldest kid stated that he didn't want hamburger helper and my mom threw a fit that I wouldn't let him have steaks with the adults. She said that since we "use him for babysitting" and he does "so many chores" he should be treated like an adult. Hello? He is 14!!! Yes he gets some priveledges that the younger ones don't but that doesn't mean he is elevated to "adult status". All kids with 8 younger siblings do chores, don't they?

Our children's school sent home free bookfair books at the end of the school year with a note attached saying the books had been "donated" for children "who might not otherwise get to get any books from the bookfair" OMG. We DID take our kids to the book fair and buy them books!

I know I may be just oversensitive but its seriously starting to hack me off that people feel so free to make these types of remarks. I was grateful for the books but not for the underlying presumption that b/c we have nine kids, we must not be able to provide them book fair books.

Does any of this make sense or have I just finally lost my mind?
Thanks for listening,
angela
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  #2  
July 30th, 2009, 06:22 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
UGH...I only have FOUR children and I feel your pain. People think that if you have more than two kids it's too much...unfortunately...it's a mindset that they have nowadays.

I get this comment when my oldest (almost 7) acts out..."maybe she's not stimulated enough and needs more" [read: She would get more attention and stimulation at public school]. UGH...seriously they (a few family members ) think that her issues will be solved if she goes to public school! ...I know that is more of a homeschool vent but grrr.....

Anyway....I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of that. Ignore the underlying reason you got the books...YOU know you aren't "depriving" your children from the bookfair. Just look at is as extra books! Yeah...that is easy to say...I'd probably not be able to follow my own advice if in that situation...so laugh at me, it's ok LOL....

I know WITHOUT a doubt that if my family grows any more that we will have unending amounts of comments. I already get "are they all yours" like I'm borrowing kids LOL...And you have me twice over plus one....I would love to have as many children as you have. You are truly blessed with a house full of lovely faces!

Oh and on the chores...um yeah...all my kids have chores...except the 10 month old...
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #3  
July 30th, 2009, 07:58 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,382
You know, unless you have a boy and a girl, (or 3 kids that include both genders) you are going to hear stupid stuff come out of people's mouths. I know it can get irritating and offensive when you get a lot of it all at once.

Surprisingly enough to some people, dh and I have not contemplated hanging ourselves even though we have 5 girls. Some people act like we have been cursed and that's what really ticks me off.
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Last edited by #5in2005; July 30th, 2009 at 08:30 PM.
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  #4  
July 30th, 2009, 08:04 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
seriously....people get soooo stuck on genders....it angers me too when I hear that....Or like me I have three girls one boy...I hear...ahhh poor boy...and other comments....

We had a girl and then a boy....people thought we had NO REASON to have more since we had one of each....grrrrr....I'm one of those people that really gets on a soap box about this LOL can you tell? I also DESPISE when people are UPSET when they find out it's not "what they wanted"....ok shushing up...
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #5  
July 31st, 2009, 09:07 AM
kassia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 12,631
Welcome!

We only have five and get comments all the time. HUGS!
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Mel
Mom of
Sam 13, Hannah 11, Gabriel 7, Emma 6 and Brayden 2

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  #6  
August 1st, 2009, 12:39 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,657
Thanks ladies. I really like this board. Everyone seems really supportive.
angela
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  #7  
August 1st, 2009, 01:48 PM
mater bibit
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*hugs* You know, it just doesn't matter what the issue is - if it's something other's aren't familiar with and not something they agree with then they are going to do this kind of thing. I'm so thankful for all the like minded friends that we have and do what I can to remain above reproach so that they have nothing genuine to point at and pray for much grace to deal with the unreasonableness that will tend to come up with something anyway.
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  #8  
August 1st, 2009, 01:48 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,321
We are just like Cacique's 38C's! Supportive and uplifting! 9! What a house full of blessings!
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  #9  
August 1st, 2009, 07:10 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,023
Send a message via Yahoo to MamaJessie
*hugs* Family can be so most frustrating. Most 14 year olds do chores, don't they? My sister gets like that with my oldest (10) always saying "That's a lot of responsibility" whenever she helps out. We're a FAMILY, it's a blessing, not a curse!

(And farmerswife, you never cease to amuse me )
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  #10  
August 1st, 2009, 07:22 PM
Indymommy7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,033
Oh honey, I could go on for HOURS at the thoughtless comments we get!

I am 17 weeks pregnant with my 6th, and was in the ER for spotting at 12 weeks. A lady my dh works with found out and instead of saying that she was happy the baby was ok, we get 'You have enough kids, I hope you're done after this"!

My father will not even acknowledge the fact that I have a baby on the way

And I know all a bout the charity thing; We got a gift card at my elementary aged kids last Christmas for Wal-Mart for $400 dollars! Ummm, we already had a stash of gifts so some of it, we used to buy presents for the homeless shelter!

And I am with farmer's wife, wow, what a blessing to have 9!
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