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I am about at my last straw. I didn't think going from 4 to 5 kids would be so difficult. I had Jonathan on the 30th of July and the 1st of August we headed cross country for our move from CA to VA with a detour in WI for the baby to be baptized. The drive took us 12 days with 2 days spending nights with family. I didn't sleep much or recoop to well either. Unpacking has been a nightmare. The kids were upset about moving and are now upset because I am still trying to get the house together. The work seems never ending. Jonathan has reflux really bad and then on top of the reflux he has a severe case of colic. Some days he cries all day long and others it is for hours at night. I feel like I am neglecting my house and my other kids. Dinner is always late because that is usually the colic time. Even with a snugli on it's hard to drain noodles or get close to the stove to cook. Mark isn't much help. Last night after a full day of screaming baby he comes home puts together my 12 yr olds bed and then goes up showers and goes to bed. He thinks there is nothing he can help with because after all I am nursing. Sorry to ramble. I am just so frustrated right now. I can't seem to find enough time in the day to get everything done. Just writing this has taken over an hour due to inturruptions. Anyone got any ideas or suggestions? It could be how you manage or how to help a fussy baby. I really need suggestions! Thanks for listening
First of all: BREATHE!! You have been through a few of the most stressful life changes all in less than 2 weeks. Having a baby, moving, staying with family!? Any one of those things generally sends me over the edge for a good month or two. You put all 3 together and you have to give yourself, the kids, and your husband a good 6 months to adjust. It isn't going from 4 to 5 that has been hard, it is all the other stuff you threw in there! You left your friend support system, who in my case brought enough food that I didn't cook for 3 weeks. You are even going potty in a different place. The kids need time to adjust. Take it slow. Just unpack one thing at a time.
Now, about that colicy, refluxy baby. I am not a snugli person. I am a put them in the bed (or swing if you insist on being able to see them) and go do what you have to do. If in the bed, I put them on their belly. I know it is not PC, but I think they rest and sleep better. 15 minutes while you fix a quick dinner is not going to kill him. You do this throughout the day and I think you will find him calmer and easier to handle, which will give you time to do the things you need. How old are the other kids? DELEGATE chores!!
Finally, with regard to your husband, try to be gracious with him. I know he is driving you right out of your head right now. He seems like he can't think or do anything right. He is going through all the same adjustment changes as you, but also has to go to work every day and get used to all the newness there, too.
You won't get everything done each day. Just pick 3 things to focus on. One if you are planning to go out.
I will be praying for you! You will look back on this and laugh one day. About how frazzled you felt and how easy it is then. Then you will want another baby.
Yes you do need to breathe. That is a lot of change you and your family are going through. You didn't even have time to recoop before going on the road and it's always hard when your kids don't want to move in the first place. If they are old enough ask them to do little things to get the house in order. I like farmerswife thought about focusing on just 3 things a day. Everything will all fall into place when things settle down and everyone gets used to being there. I've never had to deal with a colicky baby so I hope you get some good advice. Give the baby to your dh while you cook dinner. That would be a way he could help out big time.
I know just how you mean about trying to keep up, and not being able to get things organized makes me nuts too.
The kids & I moved in with my SO just over a month ago and with us working, plus getting the kids geared up for school, the house is nowhere near organized like it needs to be.
I completely agree with the previous advice, just focus on smaller tasks and remember that you are doing the best that you can. No-one can be a super Mom, it's just not possible, we just do the best that we can within the parameters we have to work with.
You need to remember that you're important too, and if that means you need to leave that load of laundry so you can actually put your feet up and breathe, then just use that pile of laundry as a footstool