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Why I hate DDC's


Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
January 11th, 2010, 11:16 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Everyone is so happy. Everyone is so excited, families are excited, husbands are excited, friends are excited. For me, no one is excited. It makes it hard to post in there except to generic kinda stuff.

I have no loving husband to rub my feet or take the kids so I can nap. No female family members or friends to shop with for baby girl stuff. I have never had a baby shower because no one was even excited about my first. I even got to go to my "big" u/s alone.

No one but my mom and grandma even know I am expecting, that includes my kids, so I pretend I am not pregnant.

It makes me feel bad for my lil baby girl, that no one is excited for her except me.
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  #2  
January 11th, 2010, 11:28 AM
frugality=reality
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If it's any consolation-I don't have a bunch of excited people. Our news was met with "oh ****!" by everyone-including us-because my husband has been laid off and is barely working and bringing in less than we need for our bills. I have yet to be excited for myself, really... I'm not past the shock yet, and I'm halfway there! I am just going with the flow for now. I didn't cry when I heard the heartbeat like I had previously, I didn't cry the first time I felt baby move, etc. I kind of just post to the generic stuff there too.
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  #3  
January 11th, 2010, 11:55 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ohh, thanks. I have seen some of your posts in the May DDC on the threads I have posted in. LOL, I guess we are both going for the generic ones. My situation is definitely not the greatest either. Hugs back to you.
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  #4  
January 11th, 2010, 12:19 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I want you both to listen to me very carefully. God has a plan for the children you are carrying. He knows their names, He knows the circumstances he has sent them to be in, He knows how many hairs are on their tiny little heads.

Yes, they are going to cost money. They are going to make messes, your feet are going to hurt, and you will lose sleep. But then they are going to grow up. They are going to be able to bless you in ways that you can't imagine. You have no idea what the potential each of these kids have. They could cure cancer, write symphonies, found nations! Or they will be regular joes who work jobs and take care of their families, pay taxes to hopefully dig this nation out of the debt hole we have dug for
ourselves!. Either way, they will be very glad they are alive.

I am very sorry that through circumstance or conviction, those around you don't love you enough to love your unborn child. If it is any help at all, I love those babies and I want them to be healthy and strong and welcomed into families who are so happy to have them.

You are the moms. Those around you can only be as happy as you are. They may not be happy for you, but they can only be as happy as you are. You have to show them by example. You have a huge responsibility with these kids. You have to shower them with love and pour your heart into them, teaching them how important it is to live for God, care for others, and treat people with dignity and respect. Be the MOMS!

I am praying for you both. It is not going to be easy, I know, but it is worth it. I beg of you to find some support, find a church, a homeschool group (they usually know large families!) find someone who can come along side you.

Love you!
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  #5  
January 11th, 2010, 12:42 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sure, make me freakin cry.

Thanks, FW, sometimes I need to hear that too. I am really trying not to have a pity party here.
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  #6  
January 11th, 2010, 01:04 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanMomma View Post
Sure, make me freakin cry.

Thanks, FW, sometimes I need to hear that too. I am really trying not to have a pity party here.
I am good, aren't I?
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  #7  
January 11th, 2010, 02:58 PM
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nona terre lurking here --

farmers wife -- that was AWESOME!!! couldn't have said it better.

and ladies, she is absolutely right.
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  #8  
January 11th, 2010, 04:16 PM
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FW, you made me cry and Im not even all hormonal (and you are right, boo on unsupportive family)

FW Im designating you my personal pep talk coach. Can you give me a pep talk about surviving colic? I need one right about now
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  #9  
January 11th, 2010, 05:53 PM
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FW said it all!! I second everything she said!
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  #10  
January 11th, 2010, 06:09 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doodle View Post
FW, you made me cry and Im not even all hormonal (and you are right, boo on unsupportive family)

FW Im designating you my personal pep talk coach. Can you give me a pep talk about surviving colic? I need one right about now
Sorry. I don't actually believe in colic, except in horses. I would suggest regular, scheduled feedings and crying it out to sleep on the belly.

Maybe I should stick to motivational prenatal mommy rahrahing.
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  #11  
January 11th, 2010, 07:07 PM
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Farmers Wife made me cry because you said everything I think they needed to hear. Family in real life might not be excited but your online family is very excited and wishes you guys the very best God has to give. (( HUGS))
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  #12  
January 11th, 2010, 09:29 PM
frugality=reality
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I don't like hormones very much... I did cry when reading that post, FW.


And... It isn't that my extended family is UNsupportive or lack any kind of excitement (honestly, my parents and IL's love their grandchildren and they do look forward to having another one to spoil and love), it's just that it wasn't really the best time. We were not trying, but things happen...I'm not trying to neglect to be the mommy. I know once this baby is here and nursing, I'll do fine. It's just difficult dealing with an unexpected/unplanned pregnancy. We have a 2 BR 900-ish sq. ft. home, and we were hoping to upgrade and have steady income, and this oopsie puts a damper on things-along with the whole lay off thing.


I do believe that God had this in His plans, and that's the only thing, really, that's keeping me even slightly motivated. I'm looking forward to Him also providing a means of support... maybe a change of career or something. *shrug*
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  #13  
January 12th, 2010, 04:18 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Glad I am not the only one that FW's post made cry. Wow - that was some pep talk Farmerswife! Makes me want to be a better mom today.

And she is soooo right. And we are all happy for you both and very excited!! We love hearing your updates!
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  #14  
January 12th, 2010, 08:48 AM
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Beautifully said, FW!
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