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  #1  
April 28th, 2010, 06:41 AM
DoubleTrouble07N09's Avatar Twin Extraordinaire
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Okay I have an issue with my OB. I got my mirena removed yesterday and she did not want to remove it. She actually cancelled all of her appointments to lecture me on how there was no reason to have over 4 kids, how I was only 24 and should want more out of life than just kids, and how she does not see how we can support them since I don't work. First of all I don't get any form of assistance my fiance' works two jobs and we pay for everything out of pocket. We just bought our first home, was blessed with another vehicle and honestly we are nto wanting for anything... It really pissed me off when she said I must was getting pregnant to keep him happy. I told her no, we don't feel like our family is complete yet. She then said you do realize if I take this out you could be pregnant tomorrow and I said I know this and even though I don't want to be pregnant tomorrow, we want it removed. She then said there is no reason in this day and age any woman should want to have more than 4 kids.. honestly my mouth fell open, I asked her what difference was it make. She then started asking me wasn't it hard already with the twins and how would I feel if it were another set or if the next baby was a girl... I told her I would accept it. She then told me if I was pregnant before next yr she would not see me. Am I wrong for searching for a new ob? She honestly was great all through my pregnancy, and now this...
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  #2  
April 28th, 2010, 06:45 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do not ever go back to that person. It is absolutely none of her business. You don't have to justify to her wanting more children. OMG...can you send me her addy so I can go smack her. How did you restrain yourself. Arghhhh.

So another girl wouldn't be a blessing? Or another set of twins would be a burden? I would have told her she wouldn't have to worry about me EVER coming back!!!!!!!
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  #3  
April 28th, 2010, 06:47 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am in shock that your doctor actually said that to you. I could see her giving a mini lecture about not having more kids to be sure that's what you wanted. In my opinion, she inserted her own personal feelings into the conversation and that was not professional at all. And to go as far as to say she won't see you - I would kick her to the curb so fast. It's none of her business how many children you plan on having.

Just my two cents.
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  #4  
April 28th, 2010, 06:51 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes. I would find another office. That was completely out of line and not her business. I am proud of you for standing up to her and having it taken out. I would get pregnant as soon as you are married (See UM's BC thread) and let her know you will be taking your business elsewhere and being sure to tell everyone you know that this particular doctor hates babies.
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  #5  
April 28th, 2010, 06:55 AM
DoubleTrouble07N09's Avatar Twin Extraordinaire
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Thanks Ladies! I just didn't see why this was even an issue. Karl and I have six kids and have paid for everything including insurance. It is very costly but we just dont see our family as complete and I will be finding a new OB. Thanks again ladies
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  #6  
April 28th, 2010, 07:06 AM
babydahl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh wow, that's completely out of line. Is there somewhere you could file a complaint? There's no way she should be voicing her opinion on stuff like that. I'd definitely be finding a new doctor.
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  #7  
April 28th, 2010, 07:13 AM
DoubleTrouble07N09's Avatar Twin Extraordinaire
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DF was really pissed...
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  #8  
April 28th, 2010, 07:13 AM
~mommy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well because you said she's been great up to this point, I would think maybe she was genuinely concerned for you. I would not feel comfortable going back to her though.
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  #9  
April 28th, 2010, 07:36 AM
GiftsfromGod's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah after a "talk" like that she would never see me again in her office. It is none of her business to judge you and your personal decisions/motives for having a child or your ability to support them.
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  #10  
April 28th, 2010, 08:08 AM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow! I just started liking my OB again after reading that .
She was not acting professionally. I would also want to file a complaint.
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  #11  
April 28th, 2010, 08:18 AM
DoubleTrouble07N09's Avatar Twin Extraordinaire
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Can I file a complaint even if it is a private practice?
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  #12  
April 28th, 2010, 08:34 AM
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I would not go back, what she said to you is just the craziest thing I have heard in a long time.
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  #13  
April 28th, 2010, 08:45 AM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoubleTrouble07N09 View Post
Can I file a complaint even if it is a private practice?
Hmmm...I don't know. She's not affiliated with a hospital at all?

Now that you said that, I would tell her to stop watching so much Private Practice! That is sooo something I could see Addison saying to one of her patients on the show. It's JUST a SHOW crazy ob lady!!
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  #14  
April 28th, 2010, 09:07 AM
DoubleTrouble07N09's Avatar Twin Extraordinaire
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lol Yes she is. I will be filling a complaint. thanks you all
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  #15  
April 28th, 2010, 09:23 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Even in private practice you can write to the practice and tell them why. And you can write to the medical board. It won't do anything, but it will get your view out there. She didn't do anything malpractice or dangerous, so nothing will be done.
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  #16  
April 28th, 2010, 10:15 AM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmers-wife View Post
Even in private practice you can write to the practice and tell them why. And you can write to the medical board. It won't do anything, but it will get your view out there. She didn't do anything malpractice or dangerous, so nothing will be done.
This could depend on the hospitals policy whether or not she will be reprimanded (certainly won't loose her license or anything serious). The hospital that I delivered my last two dc at has a policy that none of the drs or staff can encourage permanent bc (I realize that mirena is not permanent but she did say no one should have more than 4). Both my dr. and my labor/delivery nurse told me this. Out of curiosity I asked why and they said "because it's bad for business!"

So ladies, I guess we are keeping these hospitals going!
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  #17  
April 28th, 2010, 10:32 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm with the others, that's completely unprofessional!!! It's not her job to tell you what to do, it's her job to give her medical advice and then respect your decision. It would be different if she was cautioning you about a medical problem that would make another pregnancy dangerous, but sounds more like she was just giving her unprofessional opinion about large families in general.

I'm glad you're going to file an complaint. That's so way out of line. My OB had concerns about the safety of home birth, but he expressed himself professionally and then respected our choice to proceed with a midwife. He still provided all my pre and post natal care with kindness. *That* is how a doctor should conduct themselves when they are concerned about a patient's choices.

I'm so mad on your behalf!
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  #18  
April 28th, 2010, 10:41 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sheesh, I switched docs over way less than that! I am also someone that would keep my mouth shut, and probably come home and be in tears when DH got home from work. I am sure you can find someone in your area who would be happy to be the doctor to your big family .

About the home birth thing DH says absolutly NO WAY, but the doctor that I did like from the previous practice I was at also frowned apon it, and said that he didn't really want to be 2nd choice BUT he also told me that if something happened at home they are not allowed to turn you away at the hospital, so it was ultimately my choice.
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  #19  
April 28th, 2010, 06:40 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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wow, I can't believe she said that. Was she a social worker or a doctor b/c it sounds like her job was to remove the iud, not comment on how you manage your family
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  #20  
April 28th, 2010, 08:45 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow, I would never go back there.
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