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  #1  
September 26th, 2010, 11:00 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How do you hold it together and have patience for each kid all day, every day? Maybe mine are all so young and are so needy and hands-on, but I find that by 4pm when dh hasn't been home for days on end, that I'm done-I'm shorter, more yelly. I'm tired of asking gently for one of the kids to stop pinching/hitting/biting/fighting/climbing/pushing-by the third time of asking nicely, I'm yelling. I don't want to be the yeller, but they don't hear the nice asking! I've never seen Michelle Duggar yelling at her kids, am I expecting too much of me?
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  #2  
September 26th, 2010, 01:48 PM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No - I don't think you are asking too much of yourself! You are probably a lot more calm than you realize. I think we all lose it from time to time. Your kids are all so young too - when they get older it will get a little easier. I did say a little......
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  #3  
September 26th, 2010, 02:29 PM
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Sometimes I take it one minute at a time. Sometimes I need a break, that's called quiet time. I separate them if I have to, turn on cartoons and I go in another room. I try not to yell, I really do, but sometimes it isn't reality. It's hard to be the one and all for this many children. I try to remember that sometimes they are just being difficult because they need something else, maybe they are hungry, tired, bored. (((hugs)))
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  #4  
September 26th, 2010, 03:17 PM
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no, you're not an exception...I remember counting down to 7pm bedtime at 5 o'clock, and I didn't have as many as little as you. I think it's the constant interaction that wears you down. And to be honest, back then my kids probably watched a bit more tv than they should have, not that it was on all day, but kind of at that 5 pm hour I would just have them watch a movie to have them out of my hair for a bit.
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  #5  
September 26th, 2010, 05:02 PM
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I'm no Michelle Duggar with my all my littles and my Dh ain't no Jim Bob either LOL! We are doing the best we can.
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  #6  
September 26th, 2010, 08:13 PM
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It's a rare day that I don't end up yelling at least once. It does get easier as they get older. I had 6 under 7 at one time and daily I felt like I was melting down. Bedtimes were the worst because I couldn't get them to stay in bed. Did I say couldn't, I mean still can't

Try to take mini breaks throughout the day. I give myself a few minutes at a time to just decompress. When I find myself yelling, I tell them I'll be back to deal with them in a minute and walk in the other room until I cool down. As the kids get older, the older ones really help out with the younger ones. I can ask them to go calm someone down or help get them a drink for the millionth time. I'm counting down the days until my oldest is 12 so she can babysit

I've been thinking a vacation by myself sounds good too. Since I'm working all the time (SAHM) I don't get vacation time and I think maybe I need some. I love my job, but it's still nice to take time off now and then.
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  #7  
September 27th, 2010, 06:28 AM
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I live for 12pm naptime and 7pm bedtime My kids are all young like yours.. 4, 3, almost 2, and a newborn in a couple weeks and I still have even my 4 year old take a nap. The kids need that little bit of quiet/rest time; Mommy needs that little recoup time and I'm going to need it even more once the baby is here.

Oh and.. the reason you never see Michelle Dugger yell is because of editing and that fact that she's got A LOT of help from her older daughters (who look like they've been run through the ringer a lot of the time).. if you really think about it, how often do you see her doing the dirty work with the little kids? If you could edit my day and give me two older FREE babysitters, you wouldn't see me yell either
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  #8  
September 27th, 2010, 06:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieJ View Post
How do you hold it together and have patience for each kid all day, every day?
I don't. And I am sorry to burst your bubble but it's not just because they are little. I find I have more patience with my 3 & 1 year old than my 8 & 11 yo. The older ones should know better.

I like the Duggars but always felt for Kate (Kate & 8) She used to get such backlash every time she'd lose her cool, but I felt it was more real. In our neighborhood our houses are all VERY CLOSE to each other and you know what? I have heard many parents yelling at their kids. They are no one's proudest moments, but we all do it from time to time.
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  #9  
September 27th, 2010, 10:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaJessie View Post
I don't. And I am sorry to burst your bubble but it's not just because they are little. I find I have more patience with my 3 & 1 year old than my 8 & 11 yo. The older ones should know better.

I like the Duggars but always felt for Kate (Kate & 8) She used to get such backlash every time she'd lose her cool, but I felt it was more real. In our neighborhood our houses are all VERY CLOSE to each other and you know what? I have heard many parents yelling at their kids. They are no one's proudest moments, but we all do it from time to time.
Nicely said. I feel for Kate too - always thought she did a pretty darn good job with discipline And who wouldn't loose their cool with sextuplets and twins and a film crew invading your space, I don't have all that and I loose my cool.
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  #10  
September 27th, 2010, 11:23 AM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah, we're not the Duggars here either. I think everyone has bad days. I know I do. Those are the days we go to bed early, lol!
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  #11  
September 27th, 2010, 12:25 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you ladies-its 1:24pm, and my goal today was not to yell, meaning that I am choosing to be aware of everything I say. I'm also trying to back off and stay out of preschooler fights-they're resolving on their own faster than when I intervene.
I can choose to be more patient, and of course some days are better than others.
Thank you!
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  #12  
September 27th, 2010, 06:19 PM
ImustBeNuts06's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((HUGS)))

The ONLY thing that kept me the slightest bit sane when I had little kids was nap time and 7pm bedtime. Even when the bigger boys outgrew naps, I made them take a quiet time. My three year old outgrew naps a year ago (age 2)....one of the saddest days of my life.

Now, there is a whole different sort of stress. 4pm comes and OMGosh!!!!! It is a rare day that I don't yell. I wish I wouldn't, but it is soooo hard when everyone is hungry, trying to cook dinner, 4 year old is beating up the 3 year old, the 9 year old needs help with homework, and the 5 year old is practicing his kung fu movies off of the sofa.
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  #13  
October 8th, 2010, 10:46 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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the no yelling thing lasted two days, lol! But I'm working on being more patient, much more smiling and nodding going on
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  #14  
October 8th, 2010, 07:24 PM
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Good for you!!
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