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Gtky 8


Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
October 9th, 2010, 05:00 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,679
Thanks, ladies, for telling us about your mothers.

Today's GTKY is all about our fathers. What is your relationship like with your father? Do you have a close relationship?
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  #2  
October 9th, 2010, 05:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,492
No I don't have a close relationship with him. he is a good man in his own way but he has a thick head, he is a hoarder (200+ used cars), he has ruined my parents finacial situation & stolen money from both my brother and I. He also refuses to accept that Nathan has autism and insists there is nothing wrong with him and he will "grow" out of it. Right now I am having a hard time explaining to my 3 yr old why grandpa doesn't ever say goodbye or give hugs. my father has always just hung up the phone when he was done (no goodbye or see ya later) even my Dh has a hard time with this one. My 3 yr old didn't understand yesterday why grandpa left for work without saying goodbye. My family (especially my dad) frown upon hugs, kisses, and telling someone you love them. Those things are pretty much non-existent here. Thank goodness my husband was raised differently and he showers the kids with love.

So yup, I can't wait to get back home on Monday!!!!
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  #3  
October 9th, 2010, 06:09 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,757
Carry, hugs to you. I'm glad you have a good affectionate hubby.

My Dad passed away when I was 18 from cancer. We were pretty close, I was definately a Daddy's farm girl. I miss him a lot. I wish he would have had the chance to meet my wonderful hubby and his 8 grandkids. He missed so much. So did I and my kiddos. I feel lucky to have had him for 18 years though.

On a postive note, I have a pretty good FIL.
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  #4  
October 9th, 2010, 06:53 AM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,628
I have a dad, I have done all of the staying in contact, every year he get's a card and pictures but I never hear from him. He left my life when I was around 8, started another family and never made any effort to stay in my life. I am not mad at him nor do I hate him, but some acknowledgment would be nice.
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  #5  
October 9th, 2010, 08:27 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 8,365
I have a pretty good relationship with my Dad. He raised me and he is really good about treating me like an adult. I always feel better about myself after spending time with him. He is a great guy who works very had for his family.
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  #6  
October 9th, 2010, 09:04 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,679
I have no relationship with my dad at all. He left when I was nine, and tried the every other weekend thing but he would always forget or not show up. Eventually, the visits just stopped, and so did any contact. I spent many years hating him and holding a grudge against him. He never had any other children (although I know he married again) and has a very successful yacht brokerage business. I offered him another chance a few years ago when I reconnected with his family ~ but he basically told me that he was responsible for the first 10 years of our being apart but the last 10+ have been my own doing. He told me I was a bitter person (don't know how he would know that) and I should just continue to live my life and he will continue to live his. Ouch. Well, at least I tried but it still hurts and I really won't give him another opportunity to do that. I have had enough. I don't hate him, I actually feel sorry for him. I often wonder what he says when people ask him if he has any children.

My FIL is a nice guy but he wasn't a good father either and he isn't the best grandfather either. He hardly sees the kids and forgets things about them all time. (He'll say something like "Erin is on the swim team???" Um yeah - for six years.) But at least he's around. That's the only grandfather my kids know.
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  #7  
October 9th, 2010, 01:49 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,289
My dad is fine. We get along. But he is a difficult man. He spent my growing up years always working, and now still believes that we should be working all the time, so we can have more money, because money is the only measure of true success, so we disagree on that big time.
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  #8  
October 9th, 2010, 10:35 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
I like my dad but he is very detached. We had 5 boys in our family growing up so he spent all his time with them. When I was 16 he suddenly decided to try and be my friend but we had nothing in common and I didn't want anything to do with him then. When I talk to him now, it's like talking to a neighbor. We don't fight, don't express concern, don't show love. We talk about the weather and how he likes his car.
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  #9  
October 14th, 2010, 08:19 AM
Sassafrass's Avatar Running Mamma
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 4,472
My Dad died of a heart attack at 54 years old when I was 16. Its been 18 years.

Before he died we were not close. He was a recovering alcoholic and very detatched from all of us. It was sad really.
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  #10  
October 15th, 2010, 06:33 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,023
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My dad and I were close. I was a daddy's girl big time. The night he died (he was 45, I was 12) my mom told me I was his favorite. (Weird thing to say, weird thing to hear, but my mom being weird is a whole separate GTKY ) We were on a father/daughter bowling league, out bowling the night he passed.

I wish I got to know him more. My mom had a way of skewering reality so all I have are my foggy 12 YO memories.

Sometimes when I see DH with the girls I see a little bit of my dad and me and it melts my heart.
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