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Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
December 2nd, 2010, 03:43 PM
~candyann~'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Evans City, PA
Posts: 747
Okay so I am just poping in from May 2009 Playroom but I have some questions. Dh and I have 2 kids, Dakota 7and Izabelle 20 months. and we really want another baby actually we want a family of four but some people in our circle of family and friends think we are nuts. I am a stay at home mommy and have always wanted four children, dh works fulltime outside of home but yet we still get the comments..." can you afford that many kids?" "will you room them all" ect....im sure most of you have heard them before. So my questions is, how do I deal with the judgement? I know we will be okay and my heart can handle so much more love. We are a close family have a smaller home but I would rather have that then my kids be all over the house and never see them. I like being together and just need some help making myself know we will be okay and to forget they other people. Thanks ladies.
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  #2  
December 2nd, 2010, 08:32 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 117
you let the judgement roll off your back. it is hard i know..we got a lot of "talk" as our family grew. Most of the time I replied with..well God will decide when we are done and that quieted them.
Of course no one can really afford 10 kids anymore than they can afford 1, but if we all wait until we can afford kids..no one would have any. You know what I mean though..yes you need to be able to provide food and shelter, but everything else will come as long as you provide the love.
Since when did every single kid have to have their own room or 4 trillion toys and brand new clothes every single week? They don't need it. My kids room together..there is nothing wrong with that. I shop at thrift stores and my kids have hand me downs. They are loved and they couldn't tell you otherwise and that is all that matters.
Those people making those comments don't have to financially support you, they aren't "responsible" for those kids or you..all they have is talk. Understand their talk is only out of concern and love for you, although it makes them sound like fools. Let it roll, they have no bearing on your life with your children..they will love as many as you have!!
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  #3  
December 3rd, 2010, 01:50 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,159
Many people you will meet have this idea in their brains that the "perfect" family looks as such: dad, mom, boy, girl. Sadly, they think that this has to apply to every family in the world--tell them to back off and get their own tubal

We have closer friends who think we have done our children a huge injustice by having two kids share each room-how that's any of their business, I'll never know. I have to share a room-a bed even!

As long as you and dh are happy with your family, you'll learn that nobody else's opinions matter Good luck!
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  #4  
December 3rd, 2010, 05:12 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Smalltown, USA
Posts: 7,280
How I deal with the comments sort of depends on what mood I'm in but all in all it's just important to remember it's none of their business what you and your dh decide to do with your life and family.
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  #5  
December 3rd, 2010, 06:13 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Minnesota
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It can be annoying but just ignore them. You're not living your life to make them happy.
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  #6  
December 3rd, 2010, 06:27 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieJ View Post
I have to share a room-a bed even!
Oh the injustice! LOL
I wish I could keep my kids in their own rooms. They all want to sleep together in the same room every night. Even worse, they want to sleep in our room.

Just tell people to mind their own business. Unless they are the ones having to raise your kids, they have no business telling you whether or not to have any more. If they aren't supportive then you don't want them around anyway.
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  #7  
December 4th, 2010, 06:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,741
You just let it roll off your shoulders until you reach that boiling point. Then you go off on a huge rant about how you love your kids and how once the new baby is here everyone else is going to love them as well so they might as well shut their mouths and start loving them now.. that shuts people up for awhile and then after awhile you'll have to do it all over again. I just figure no one else's opinion really matters on this topic!
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  #8  
December 5th, 2010, 05:56 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,677
You need a good come back from Farmerswife. She is good at making people wish they never said anything

Who cares what everyone else says. When your kids are all grown you don't want to look back and NOT have had more children because of the comments.
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  #9  
December 5th, 2010, 06:40 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,097
Everyone else has already said what I would have. Zoo's answer was very good. As for a comment to shut them up, I am too tired to think right now or remember anything past the fact that I haven't had breakfast. I will try to get back to you on that.

But go for it. It is no one's business what you and your husband decide is right for your own family.
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