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I heard someone say the other day that the first kid is the experiment, because parents are figuring out what works and what doesn't.
I'm not crazy about the term, and I think it was maybe true a little as babies (who cares if you're supposed to roll over at 4 months and you're not doing it 'till 6 months) but for me my kids are SO different that what one needed another totally didn't.
I think our first suffered the most, since we had NO CLUE what we were doing. I was told to feed the baby every 3 hours. Even if he was hungry at 2 hours as a nb. Not pretty.
I was also very rigid about starting solids etc exactly on time, though I see that people are still starting their 4 month old on toast, and seem to be doing just fine.
#5 is gonna be lucky if it gets solids before it has all its teeth
I use instinct and common sense more and more. Feed it if its hungry. Starting solids is super messy. Lessons learned
I think this is somewhat true. Of course every baby is different I just think as we have more children our knowledge base grows. Of course since every baby is different we tweak certain things that worked but at least we have a little more confidence when we do it.
I joke to people that Sapphire was my practice baby. I don't REALLY think of her existence as a trial run for my other babies, but in a lot of ways I had more trial and error efforts with her than the others, so she did break me into parenting.
I would say the first is a very controlled experiment...too controlled LOL
I had about 6 baby expert books and I could quote from them. I was totally freaked over every milestone. And I shake my head over remembering how disappointed I was over his potty training and lack of speech. It breaks my heart to think of the pressure I probably put on him.
I am waaaaaay more relaxed now. Last summer my mom visited and made mention of how lucky Martin is. I really feel like he's the luckiest of the 4. Not only does he get a totally pressure-free childhood but he has 3 older sibs who love and care for him as much as his mom and dad.
I agree with that a little. Marie - I was similar to you - I was rigid about the every three hours feeding even though my heart was telling me to feed her. I listened to my own mother and my MIL and there advice was outdated and went against my gut. By the time I had Erin I decided I was doing it my way and things went much smoother for me.
I still feel like Kelsey is my "guinea pig". I am flying by the seat of my pants - and parenting a teenager. By the time Erin gets to be a teen I will already know all the things Kelsey tried to pull on me.
Sure, the terminology is a little off...but still kind of true.
I know I went through a lot more trial and error with my daughter than any of my other kids. All I had to go by was what I read in the books......that was what I aimed for. Including trying to force her to sleep in her own crib and CIO at 3 months. I made a lot of mistakes and learned SO much from her. I feel bad, but she has taught me how to be a mom.....and let go....burn the darn books!!!
I don't like the expression much. If i was using the term i could probably say that each of my kids have been an experiment as I worked out what worked best for them individually. I definetely had to learn more of the basic care things when my first was a baby but as for managing behaviours etc I've had to learn each time what works best for each child.