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  #1  
January 5th, 2011, 08:16 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,248
Do you think kids in large families are closer and get along better than smaller families as a rule? Or does it depend more on temperament or parenting?

What about your family? Do your kids get along or do they fight a lot? Does gender make a difference? Or do we just expect girls and boys to be a certain way and think it's okay, because they're just being boys/girls?


I get asked all the time if my kids fight a lot, (because they're girls) and it's not like there's never a fight, but all in all they get along pretty well. I do think they get great practise figuring things out and compromising.
Also, if everyone fought a little bit all the time that would add up to a lot of fighting all the time and that would drive me nuts, maybe the tolerance is lower with more kids.

Thoughts?

ps. while I typed this I was picturing MarieJ's kids all fighting over the same toy, it is still different if your kids are littler
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  #2  
January 5th, 2011, 08:47 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 273
In our house.....it depends on the day! lol

I do think it has a lot to do with temperament and not family size. All my kids squabble, some more than others and it's mostly over who's turn it is to do something or sharing a toy or something. For the most part though, my kids get along pretty well and definately much better than my brother or I ever did. He and I fought constantly and there was only 2 of us. My hubby has 2 siblings and he rarely speaks with either of them now that he's an adult.

I tend to step back and let the kids figure things out on their own. When there was only 2 or 3 kiddos, I know I got involved a lot more and they fought a lot more. Now that I let them do it on their own with little to no intervention from me....they get along a lot better!
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Becky, Wife to Dan and Momma to
Danny (15), Andrew (9), Lizzie (8), Matthew and Sarah
our Twin Angel Babies taken home to be with Jesus on 11/7/03, Joshy (4), Gracie (2),
Baby Emma born 11/11/10 and Baby Bean Due 10/02/11
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  #3  
January 5th, 2011, 10:13 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,766
I think it has more to do with personality than anything else.
My kids very rarely fight. I can usually see when a problem could be arising and can deter it before it starts.
My oldest deffinetly doesn't like the idea of a big family. She would much rather be left alone to read than have her siblings 'bothering' her. And that's okay. No matter how many kids there are I still think they need some alone time and her personality requires more alone time than others.
My 7 year old is such a little momma. She's a spunky little thing but she always wants to make sure everyone is happy. She's full of energy nonstop and she plays SO well with her brothers.
And so far the boys have no problems with each other. They like different things so they never fight over toys or anything like that.

I am one of five and I am very close to each of my siblings and talk to them daily on the phone since we live soo far away (military)
My husband is one of seven but he's not particularly close with any of them. But I am sure that is because of the age gap. His brothers are only 16, 15, 12, and 10.
He talks to his sister most that is a year younger than him and that's only every few months! His other sister I've never met and only talk to on facebook. Distance is the factor there.
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