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  #1  
January 12th, 2011, 09:04 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This post might get long but I will try to give you the condensed version.

My neighbor was an older woman (widowed) and we did so much for her and she was so sweet. She ended up moving an hour from here and sold her home to move into a retirement home. My neighborhood is middle class predominantly white. (This is important to the story)

The new neighbors are an older African American couple. Grown children, with several grandchildren. Upon them moving in (in June) we brought them some banana bread and my dh helped them figure out the water heater on the first day. They have told us how good Christian people they were. We are friendly - wave often and never had any issues. My only real complaint was they had someone cut the grass every two weeks so by the second week it was pretty long. I never would say anything about that.

My oldest daughter catches the bus at the entrance to the neighborhood which is a very long walk. Once the weather got cold - she would cut through their back yard and through a common area to get to her bus stop. Puts her very close. The woman next door said something to her one day and Kelsey kind of brushed it off. She told her not to climb her fence. (The fence she is climbing is not hers it belongs to another house) Last week, Kelsey was cutting through (it's not even close to their house - they have a huge yard) and the woman yelled - really yelled at her. This time my dh went over to talk to her. He just simply said I heard you had words with my daughter and the woman started flipping out. She said she doesn't want her cutting through her yard because she's young and she can walk. She said next thing you know she's going to get robbed by some "white kids". My dh was floored. Apparently, this is about race now? My dh told her we don't have a problem with her grandchildren playing on our swingset, or playing basketball in front of our house in our net. She said they will never do it again - and we better keep our kids out of her driveway. (Sometimes the kids turn the bikes around in the driveway) My dh was getting mad - but kept his cool and then called her a religious hypocrite!! She was appalled and he asked her what the bible says about do unto others. She got really pissed at this - and told him not to tell her about the Bible. Dh ended up saying that he was just going to go back to our house and stay away from them and suggested they do the same. We have warned the children to stay away from the grass - the driveway - and stay away from them.

About 10 minutes later the police were at our door because she called them!! She said my dh was screaming at her and she was afraid of him. The police thought the whole thing was stupid and my dh never once raised his voice to her. Needless to say, my dd won't be cutting through her yard ever again - but she is allowed to cut through another neighbor's yard which borders the crazy neighbors yard. Yesterday the woman watched Kelsey cut through someone else's yard.

I have instructed dh not to have any contact with these neighbors because they seem to make stories up about what happened. Next thing he will be threatening her or something.

I don't understand why they are so worried about "white kids" when they moved into a "white" neighborhood. I feel bad for the kids who have played with their grandchildren many times and now will not be allowed to. What a strange situation to have with your immediate neighbor.
BTW- my kids are out shoveling my other neighbors driveway (an elderly woman) and I would normally have told them to shovel theirs too - but I don't want her to freak out about the kids in her driveway. I thought about having them do it anyway - but then decided against it.


Anyone else have strange neighbors? Should I just avoid these neighbors at all times?
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  #2  
January 12th, 2011, 09:10 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow. So sorry. People are crazy. It is too bad the grandkids won't be able to play with you guys any more.

I have a couple neighbor stories, but I have to go.
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  #3  
January 12th, 2011, 09:18 AM
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in my years as an adult, I find the best policy is to avoid neighbours like the plague, nothing good ever comes from it up here. Sad, but true. They either hate you and call the cops for nothing, or they get really friendly and starting borrowing things they never return, or dropping their kids off on your doorstep while they take off. I prefer anonymity. Its a lonely life, but its easier.
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  #4  
January 12th, 2011, 09:34 AM
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It sounds like you are describing my closest neighbor and she's my Aunt.....She wanted us to move into this home after my Mom passed away and it's been one heck of a roller coaster ride. Some days she's wonderful and sweet and other days I lock my door, don't answer my phone and pretend to not be here!

I would be friendly and cordial but I wouldn't go out of my way. I'm with you, she's liable to make up some story that your kids, your husband or maybe even you did something to her or her property.
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  #5  
January 12th, 2011, 09:44 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieJ View Post
in my years as an adult, I find the best policy is to avoid neighbours like the plague, nothing good ever comes from it up here. Sad, but true. They either hate you and call the cops for nothing, or they get really friendly and starting borrowing things they never return, or dropping their kids off on your doorstep while they take off. I prefer anonymity. Its a lonely life, but its easier.
Sad but true Marie.

Around here everyone gets along fine and there aren't any neighbor issues. Everyone looks out for eachother. A couple of my neighbors are original owners and our houses were built in 1952!

I will just have to stay away from them. I miss my old neighbor!
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  #6  
January 12th, 2011, 10:03 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think they sound ridiculous. I wouldn't want kids crossing my yard(I'm very private, and the kids that live around us actually bullied my kids on the bus and at school for being 'goodies'), that's why we put up a privacy fence, but to go that far is just odd.
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  #7  
January 12th, 2011, 10:35 AM
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Wow I would just ignore them. I can't believe people sometimes
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  #8  
January 12th, 2011, 10:44 AM
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Not cool, I have had issue's with my neighbors concerning my dog (he was being a puke head) but I was working with him and getting somewhere and yet they still called the cops. Then failed to tell them the reason my dog had a dislike for them (not any other person) is because they had been throwing rocks and kicking at him. I got that stopped and got the dog to leave them alone.....even though I couldn't really blame my dog for not liking them.

I stayed/stay nice, our daughters still hang out but I have no involvement with them.
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  #9  
January 12th, 2011, 11:12 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kierasmom View Post
I think they sound ridiculous. I wouldn't want kids crossing my yard(I'm very private, and the kids that live around us actually bullied my kids on the bus and at school for being 'goodies'), that's why we put up a privacy fence, but to go that far is just odd.

I can totally understand them not wanting my daughter to cut through. It's just HOW they handled it that I didn't agree with. She could have just come over and nicely talked to us and we would have put an end to it immediately. But to scream at her? That was nuts. Just uncalled for.
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  #10  
January 12th, 2011, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shari626 View Post
I can totally understand them not wanting my daughter to cut through. It's just HOW they handled it that I didn't agree with. She could have just come over and nicely talked to us and we would have put an end to it immediately. But to scream at her? That was nuts. Just uncalled for.
I agree there were other ways to handle it that didn't require yelling....child or not.
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  #11  
January 12th, 2011, 01:41 PM
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Is this woman 65+ ???

We live in a neighborhood that has a lot of older original owners (build 1963). The old woman across the street we refer to as Mrs. Kravitz (nosey neighbor from Bewitched) because she's always so negative about everything she see's out her window. When I had m/s I shirked on some of my normal duties- like picking up the 3 free newspapers delivered in our driveway each week. At one point I admit we had about 6 and dh doesn't park in the driveway so he doesn't notice them. One day I see her all pissed off with a grocery sack walk out her door and cross the street and pick up all the papers in our driveway! She didn't know I was pregnant but it still made me mad.

Whenever I talk to her she's always got to complain about something. All other old people on our street are nice.

I think people either get nastier or nicer as they age. That woman you're dealing with sounds unstable and I would keep away. It's sad if her old age is making her paranoid.
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  #12  
January 12th, 2011, 02:44 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree w/ Marie. We have the keep to yourself neighbors right here close to us and I like it that way. However, I have random kids from blocks away show up to play here and I have no idea who they belong to so I generally send them away. It baffels me that people send their kids over w/o even coming to meet me first.

Your neighbor was completely out of line. Both in how she treated your dd and your dh.
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  #13  
January 12th, 2011, 03:50 PM
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I live in the country so I don't have to deal with anything like this. But what a shame, totally unneccisary.
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  #14  
January 12th, 2011, 06:55 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shari626 View Post
I can totally understand them not wanting my daughter to cut through. It's just HOW they handled it that I didn't agree with. She could have just come over and nicely talked to us and we would have put an end to it immediately. But to scream at her? That was nuts. Just uncalled for.
I totally agree.
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  #15  
January 13th, 2011, 01:58 AM
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Not nice!

I had problems with our old neighbours which ended in us moving house. I've also had neighbours that were good friends of ours and constantly over stepped the boundaries or good neighbours (and good friends).

I think I'm with Marie. I now say hi, wave etc but don't become friends.
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