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March 2nd, 2011, 10:58 AM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Smalltown, USA
Posts: 7,280
a 13 yr old girl!

Alyssa turns 13 in August and to be honest I'm not looking forward to having my first teen. She's already driving us batty with her moods and attitude. She's also starting to really screw around with not taking care of her diabetes. She'll eat all kinds of snacks in between meals and doesn't take insulin for them when no one is around to tell her too. When we talk to her about it she gets all defensive and spiteful or flat out lies to our faces. I know she'd probably develop alot of these "don't tell me what to do" habits whether she had diabetes or not, I'm just super stressed with her health and don't know how to get through to her.
She also has gotten to a point when there are times she won't accept punishment. For example, if I catch her in a lie and send her to her room, she won't go. Just absolutely refuses to budge! Ugh...I can't even tell you how horrible it's been lately. Even the younger kids have been making comments about the way she has been acting.

I'm really not sure what to do with her.
C...mom to A, C, E, L, I, and R
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March 2nd, 2011, 03:55 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,023
Send a message via Yahoo to MamaJessie
Jessica Wife to Rich -
Mom to DD - 13 DS - 10 DD - 5 DD - 3

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March 3rd, 2011, 06:16 AM
amberjolie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ontario
Posts: 884

Just passing by and read your post and while I don't have a teen (my oldest is just turning 10), I thought of something that maybe you could try. You said that when you try to send her to her room, she won't go.

Maybe instead you could take away some sort of privilege that she has, something that is completely out of her control so she can't avoid the punishment. For example, she's too young to be able to go anywhere without you driving her, so her punishment could be that she can't go to "xyz". She'd go nuts being housebound for a length of time. Or if she has computer privileges, you could set up a password lock so that she can't go on unless you unlock it, and therefore you could take away computer privileges as punishment.

Of course I have no personal experience to back me up, but it was just a thought I had.

Best of luck!

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March 3rd, 2011, 09:50 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,159
oh yuck, but I'm already scared since I'll have five btwn the ages of 12-17...

I agree with ditching the room-sending, and removing priviledges instead.
Mama to 5!
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March 3rd, 2011, 10:59 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,298
Mine is only 9 and we already go through this. I'm scared beyond scared of what's going to happen when she's 13 and PMS etc.
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March 4th, 2011, 09:28 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,277
I've had a 13 year old for 6 months now, and we're doing well...

And agreed with pp's, you have got to find a punishment that will work for her. Talk to her when she's not in trouble and feeling defensive.
mom of 5 girls
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March 4th, 2011, 08:52 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Smalltown, USA
Posts: 7,280
Thanks for the support ladies!!

I guess I should have mentioned that I have been taking privledges away as well. The Wii is gone as well as the TV in her room, this is what has led up to her not wanting to go to her room. She's become soooo spiteful. That's the thing I don't know how to deal with well. This week she missed out on a friends' birthday because of her behaviour and refusal of room time. That led to more spitefulness. At this point, I think that boundaries are being tested (it's like she's 3 all over again). So every punishment I give her is going to result in some sort of punishment towards me in an attempt for me to give up. I'm not going to give in though, however, I am running out of punishments! I keep telling her it would be really nice if I could reward some good behavior every once in a while, so she would be nice to me again....she didn't find that amusing at all!
C...mom to A, C, E, L, I, and R
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