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  #1  
March 23rd, 2011, 10:18 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,145
I was talking to my high school friend this morning, and our lives have been very different, I got married at 19, had my babies in my 20's. She got married at 28 and now has 3 kids 5,3 and 1. I remember feeling like a bit of a loser when I talked to her back 10 years ago, she had tons of friends that she was always going out with, she always looked really cool while I was the complete opposite, home with my babies, very little money to do anything fun etc. So I wondered which is the case for you ladies, and if you had that kind of stage in your life, do you miss it?

She is finding it much harder to cope with the demands of children than I ever did. Do you think that depends on our personalities or the fact that I never had much of a life to speak of (lol) before kids?

I have to admit, I am finding it a little hard to be the sympathetic ear that she is needing, when I say something like "the kids and I are going to clean up the basement together" she will come back with something saying how she has to do all the cleaning by herself etc etc. Well, been there done that, she isn't anywhere where I haven't been and then some.

Needless to say I am quite happy with how my life has gone (so far)
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  #2  
March 23rd, 2011, 10:42 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,492
I had my firsts (twins) when I turned 31. I find this stage of my life pretty challenging. If I could do it over, I'd like to have had my kids while I was younger and have school age kids now.

I don't miss my twenty something days. They were very boring, but at the time I thought it was stressful LOL! I always felt like something was missing. In the end I have nothing to really show for that time in my life. We moved 13 times in 10 yrs and lost a bunch of money reselling 3 houses. I think that if we would have stayed put and established ourselves and had a nice place before having kids maybe I'd feel differently. But to me those 10 yrs were a complete waste of my life - other than the getting married part of course.
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  #3  
March 23rd, 2011, 03:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,087
Dh & I have been together since we were 18, together for 13 & married for 9 years.
Our kids are 9, 8, 6, 4 & 3. (Baby on the way).

We started young but I wouldn't change it for anything. When we first started our family, I didn't have any friends in similar places really at all and I had frineds that just didn't understand where I was at in my life. More of my friends now have families and 'get it'.

We are still young. I will be 31 when I have this baby. In 10 years my kids will be teens up to 19 (with the exception of baby to be) and we will still be young entering 40's.

Mostly my 20's were having and raising kids. I really feel like it's what God had planned for me at that point in my life and I wouldn't change it. It's definately a lot of work and lots of commitment but I love being a mom & wife.
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  #4  
March 23rd, 2011, 04:15 PM
Mommyx12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 7,031
I also got married and had my first baby when I was 19. Things were rough financially at times but we always had everything we needed. I've gone back to school and should finish nursing school in May. I'm very glad with how things have worked out. There were times I wished I had finished college earlier but I really like that I waited until later because now I am sure that I want to be a nurse, I enjoy school for the most part. I stopped going to college when we moved to Germany and I was pregnant with my 2nd and I never wanted to go back to school until a couple years ago. I went back and have done well, I had to get to a place where I was ready. I have no regrets. Dh is looking forward to us having some time to ourselves one day.
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  #5  
March 23rd, 2011, 04:17 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Smalltown, USA
Posts: 7,276
I've never had a life w/o children, lol!

I get really annoyed with my friends because they complain about their kids ALOT! But really most of them had their children in their 20's and are done. So I think we will all be on the same page in our 30's and 40's minus the fact that NONE of them understand why I want more than 2-3 tops.
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  #6  
March 23rd, 2011, 04:24 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,158
I had my first at 33, and will be 38 with my fifth-I lived my life before kids, did the career, travel, marriage, house stuff--I do remember how my life was pre-kids, and part of me misses the freedom, but I think I'd be bored now had I had my kids 15 years ago. Now what on earth would I be doing? Trying to go to college? I'll retire when my kids start college, I'm good with that
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  #7  
March 23rd, 2011, 06:55 PM
butterfly68's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 611
I had my first at 17
got married and had baby #2 at 18
divorced at 20

remarried and baby #3 at 23
4th and final baby at 25

I felt like I missed out on alot of the fun stuff my friends were doing. I have friends that still dont have kids. but a few with kids around the same ages as my younger 2.

I have a hard time being sympathetic to some as well. Like my sister in law, she had her baby at 19 and lived with her parents and had the nerve to tell me one day that I dont know what it's like to be a single mom....I laughed in her face and told her when I was her age I was a single mom of 2, living on my own and going through a divorce. that shut her up.
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  #8  
March 24th, 2011, 07:55 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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I had my first when I was 26, and I'm 36 and pg now. Part of me wishes I would have started earlier, but that's the way life worked out, and I'm happy with that. Out of high school, I went to college, graduated and than stayed home to raise my babies, much to my mom's dismay. She wanted me to have 2 kids, do the work/daycare thing, and live in the suburbs. So we are expecting number 9, I homeschool (she was a teacher) and live in the sticks. Needless to say I think she's disappointed, but we're happy
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  #9  
March 24th, 2011, 04:31 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,478
I also had my 1st at 17, so I don't really know what my life would have been like, but I can't say I miss it. I was never jealous of the people who went out every weekend, because it was just as fun sitting at home watching tv and having a beer with my husband.

I am only 27 now, and still have SOME 'friends' that are not even married, so I'm sure in the next few years some of them will have children, but I'm not really the type to give advice anyway, so them complaining about kids wouldn't irritate me lol.
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  #10  
March 24th, 2011, 07:03 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think I did the best of both, or all, of the worlds. I did the college/travel/job thing, then got pg at 24. Got married, moved to the other side of the country, and stayed home with #1. We moved back to FL and I continued having babies, staying home, homeschooling. I am very happy. I am going to a college club (Model UN) reunion next month. They think it is very strange what I am doing now, but I see it as just another way of kicking butt. Most people don't have 8 kids. If I went corporate, I would be Bill Gates, if I went gov't, I would be Margaret Thatcher.
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  #11  
March 24th, 2011, 07:43 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,023
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I was 19 when I got pregnant. I am still hoping to have another baby and I am 32. I don't think it is an age thing, I just think it is what type of person you are.
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  #12  
March 25th, 2011, 06:07 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 11,750
High school was pretty boring for me and I didn't see that changing. I was married at 18 and had my first at 18. I don't regret it either. I have a friend who is a year older than me and is still not married. The older she got, the more of her friends got married and the younger her new friends became. Now she's a 26 year old 18 year old. There are sometimes I wish I would have waited, but then I think about where I could possibly be and it all seems boring to me, so I'm happy.
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  #13  
March 26th, 2011, 06:29 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,741
I got married when I was 22.. 2 weeks after graduating college. Then had my first baby when I was 23. I never really got to be that carefree teenager.. I had to work to help my mom pay bills and then once I was in college, I had to work 2 jobs, babysit, and tutor at the same time just to pay for school, so I didn't get that "normal" college experience either. When I got married and had kids right away I didn't and still don't feel like I was missing anything. I like who I am and I wouldn't be that person without the things I went through or the choices I made in my life. There are times every once in awhile now though that I do wish I had a little more time with my husband before we had kids, just the 2 of us. We got married and 2 months later I was pregnant. I had moved over here once we got married so had to quit my jobs and was looking for a new one when I got pregnant. Then I got so sick, so our first year of marriage was spent with him holding my hair back while I up-chucked and with him visiting me in the hospital off and on. Not really ideal for the first year of marriage, but I look at all our kids and all we have with them and know it was worth it. I always wanted to go to Graduate school to get my Master's degree and was never able to do it with the pregnancies, but now that we're done having kids, I begin Grad school in April, so I feel like I'm accomplishing everything I'm meant to accomplish!
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